Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Worst Movie EVER

Holy crap!  Do you know when you make a wrong turn or two in the bad part of town, end up in a dead-end alley, and then get mugged?  This is how I felt today when I accidentally went to the wrong theater.  I intended to go see the Tom Cruise movie "Valkyrie" and thought it was playing at the local UA theater.  Nope, it was at Century just down the street.  Strike 1!

So I thought what the heck, why don't I randomly select another flick perhaps during this period of Academy Award caliber movies, I'd hit the jackpot.  Uh, nope...Strike 2! "The Spirit" was the next movie to start at 1:10 P.M., and it was absolutely terrible! I know, I know..well, NOW I know that the same guy who directed "Sin City" and "300"was behind this stinker, but that didn't help me as I hadn't seen either movie (nor do I have the desire).

Some of the movie's faults....well....gosh, where do I start?   First the's based on a comic book from the 1940's...our "hero" The Spirit was a police officer who died and came back to life as a super hero fighting his arch enemy played by Samuel L. Jackson.  The backdrop is desaturated of color, but each scene has at least one color element (like a red tie)...which very quickly becomes tiring.  The acting is terrible. At one point the hero spends time talking to his cat. Another character takes a picture of her butt...I could go on and on, but that would be more mention than the movie deserves.

Ok, so a Reinvent Dad first. I had NEVER stood up and walked out on a movie...not "Howard the Duck"...not "Shadow Conspiracy"...not even "Home on the Range."  Other movies like "Nims Island" and "Leatherheads"  would probably have been other candidates for an early exit, but alas I rented those clunkers.  This time, I said I can't take it anymore and after a 20- something couple walked out after about 30 minutes I followed their cue...Strike 3 (I'm outta here)...I decided I wanted that extra hour of my life back. Fortunately I was able to get my money back!

Don't see this movie! Don't even think about it!  I had more fun coming home and reading the miserable reviews on Yahoo.   Notes to self:  next time bring the newspaper along to reconfirm where the movie you really want to watch is playing, and don't randomly select a movie after arriving at the theater....lesson learned!


Kat said...

I walked out of "Mystery Men" ya know the one with Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria and William H. Macey. I mean with that caliber of talent you would have THOUGHT that it would maybe be good. Worst. Movie. Ever. Oh and for the record I sat through the movie Wild, Wild, West and I will never get that two hours back.

Kat said...

If you will email me at I will send you your interview questions

Et tu, Don said...

Damon, do you remember the summer after high school and we were so excited to see American Anthem? We saw the trailer and thought, this has got to be a great movie!
Absolutely horrible! The worst line, "do you have a boyfriend? No? Want one?" Awful. The worst movie I've seen was "The Village". It was then that I vowed never to see an M. Night Shyalaman movie ever again!

Reinvent Dad said...

I totally agree Don...."The Village" sucked a$$ did "American Anthem" for that matter...I'll do a Top 10 "Worst" Movie list......oh, remember the old manual movie placards at R/C Cinemas and how much fun I had switching the letters around? "Sh-t Corciut" was probably the most fitting...."I'm originally from Bakersfield" was my favorite line...haha