Most mornings before dawn I'm awaken to the pitter patter of little feet traipsing across the bedroom carpet towards Mom MD's armchair situated in the sitting area opposite the TV. The figure sighs, pulls up the blanket, sighs again...and after a few moments says "Daddy, can you turn on da TV?" I know this little voice very well. It's our middle triplet with the slight New England accent....Ju Ju.
What cracks up Mom MD and is kinda cute (if you're a spectator) are the moments immediately following her request. Groggy, I fumble and bumble around for the remote control which I pray sets on the nightstand. When I find it I quickly hit the power button and wait for the unit to warm up. Ugh, sometimes I swear it's as slow as the old picture tubes!
As soon as the picture appears on screen, inevitably I'll hear those oh so familiar four words "NOT dat one Daddy!" OK, so by now I'm awake as I can ever be prior to my morning cup of Joe. I have to think fast to avoid hearing those words a second, third or fourth time which will most certainly become increasingly louder with a less patient tone. I must find that perfect kids show. Ju Ju isn't going to stand for ESPN or the morning news.
Stay with me now as what seems so simple becomes so complicated. I have to consider two important questions; the time and the day of the week. First, time is easy - I look on the ceiling (we have one of those projection alarm clocks). Secondly, what day is it? Weekdays are easy, Mom MD goes to work. Wait... sometimes she goes in on Saturdays or Sundays. Damn! I'll take an educated guess using high probability that today is most likely a weekday.
Have any of you done this? Be honest. Now, based on the two questions above, I have to find the right channel and kids show with the understanding that there are certain shows she doesn't like such as "Jack's Big Music Show" on Noggin. I know PBS is option #1 as she likes "Between the Lions" at 6:30 and "Maya and Miguel" at 7:00, but what if it's 6:28? Damn!
Slowly I'll punch in the numbers 4-1 for Disney Channel which takes a couple seconds to change channels as the ENTER button doesn't work. Yuck, it's "Imagination Movers" .... "NOT dat one Daddy." Fine, I'll hit the down arrow a couple times....cool Nickelodeon, channel 39. Oh, Damn! Good show, but commercial...."NOT dat one Daddy."
I then proceed to flip channels like the Utah Jazz used to make crisp passes in their triangle offense, but instead of Stockton to Malone, back to Stockton and over to Hornacek (shot/all net)....it's pro channel surfing...117 up to 119 over to 45, down to 41, up to 141......back to 6 (that's PBS), SLAM DUNK "Between the Lions" has started! I'm done.
The day has begun with the "NOT dat one Daddy" game....today I heard the phrase 3x (sometimes I lose count), so I consider this yet another victory for Ju Ju....current score, Ju Ju 100, Reinvent Dad 1. Now all is good in the house. Perhaps I can catch a few more zzzzz's until Alec & Vivi get up and the trio starts the second game of the day "2 Chairs for Triplets Slam Fest." - this game, however, I'm not a participant...I'm the referee.
Here's to: The Sacramento Kings winning in TRIPLE OT last evening to beat No. Cal rivals, Golden State. Hey with a few more wins, perhaps soon they can hurdle over said Warriors and become "Kings of the dip sh#ts" for the NBA Pacific Division....