Thursday, May 28, 2009

Triplet Funnies

*One evening at the dinner table:

 Vivi - "I don't like butter on my bread!"

 Juju - "Give it to me Viv, I'll lick it off for you"

*One morning in the car:  We see a turkey walking on the side of the road

 Vivi - "Oh my God!"

 Alec - "No Vivian, you can't say that!"

 Juju - "Yeah, Viv...Ms. Jamie (from preschool) said that you can either say Oh my gosh or Oh my golly"

*One trip to the bathroom (in the middle of dinner):

 Alec - "Daddy, can you wipe my bottom?"

 R.E. Dad - "Yeah I guess, but you need to learn how to do this before starting Kindergarten! 

 Alec - "OK"

 R.E. Dad - "Now wash your hands before we go back to the dinner table"

 Alec - "Why, you wiped my bottom?"

*One night in the car listening to 'Yankee Doodle'

  Vivi - "I love that Wanky Doodle song!"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Random Tuesday all over again

As baseball catching great turned English butcher extraordinaire with a knack for Malapropism Yogi Berra's famous quote "This is like deja vu all over again" was quite apropos last evening at R.E. Dad's domicile. Spewing out the events into simpler terms, our local vomit fairy returned with a vengeance one week to the night and a second child puked off the side of her bed with mass quantities of last night's supper from Chevy's lying randomly upon the shag carpet below. The little tax exemptions that these little creatures provide might need to be replaced by larger tax exemptions or perhaps bucket loads of cold hard cash to adequately replace population in extremely stressed-out industrial countries....just saying.

Rapidly switching gears from 1st to 3rd, Bren asked me the other day what I use to eat off in college. Aside from the dorm year (I don't count my second stint in the dorms. I still consider it to be my year of shame, long story), I honestly don't remember much. I DO know that I gained about 50 lbs from the first to the 'final' year, so I must have eaten something or somethings. I also know that I barbecued steak and hamburgers often, but this was mostly on weekends.

Funny how I can remember my roommates eating patterns better than my own. One roommate worked as a cook at a restaurant, and later at a liquor store. I called him "the snake" as he skipped many meals and ate one huge meal every three or four days. I suspect he snacked at work, and was fed occasionally by his girlfriend. My second roommate was a carb freak eating PB&J sandwiches on white bread, of course. He also frequently dined on rice, and various cereals and pop tarts. My other roommate ate a ton of fast food, but was well ahead of the recent health craze as his favorite destination was Subway.

This was the same roommate who liked to cook gourmet meals for himself.  One day he decided to stockpile garlic, so he brought home a huge hanging cluster of garlic. At best, our apartment smelled of stale morning breath generated from one hundred sleeping individuals with questionable hygiene in an airtight 10 foot by 10 foot room. At worst, the allium sativum A.K.A. garlic worked as a female repellent. By a vote of 3 to 1, the situation was quickly 'handled.'

Finally, people that know me, know that I love to jot down my favorite or least favorite something. I also do enjoy lists, worst, love, hate, top 10, etc which becomes a record or a snapshot of who I was, where I was or what I was thinking (what was I thinking??) Here are a few of my favorites in the past 12 months.

Favorite Movie by far - 'Gran Torino'
Favorite Vacation w/o kids - Florida (Key West, Miami, Jupiter (spring training)).
Favorite Vacation with kids - Mark and Karol's in North Dakota.
Favorite Day Trip - 3-way tie (San Francisco, Chico, and Six Flags Discovery Kingdom).
Favorite TV Show - '24' - Jack loves kicking ass, taking no prisoners.
Favorite Concert - Tie "The Police" at Sleeptrain Amphitheater and Bren's solo at Talent Show.
Favorite Sporting Event - NY Knicks vs. Miami Heat..D-wade leads incredible comeback.
Favorite Fair or Festival - Strawberry Festival.
Favorite Restaurant & Meal - Joe's Stone Crab in Miami Beach.

As Yogi says "I didn't really say everything I said." Really, enough said on this particular Random Tuesday.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

What the heck is this?

So I hate to bite the hand that feeds me.   Well actually it's about the equivalent of a McDonald's Happy Meal every six months (if that).  I just don't understand why this advertisement from Google would be placed on my blog.    This ad is NOT relevant to my site content.   Can someone explain how this type of ad ended up here?  I certainly can not!

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I actually have been considering removing the Google ads.   Making extra cash isn't what this blog is about.  AdSense just seemed kind of cool when I started out last Fall.   My purpose has always been to communicate what I'm currently doing and thinking with family and friends. Making new friends in the blogosphere has definitely given value to my blogging experience.

So...What do you think I should do about this? Any suggestions?  This just isn't right.

I'm trying not to be too pissed about this.  This evening hasn't been a complete loss..  Heck Kris Allen did win American Idol '09!

Oh, before I sign off tonight I want to mention that the triplets have Kindergarten "tryouts" tomorrow.  So for fun this evening, Mom MD and I quizzed them on anything and everything that we thought they should know by day one this Fall.  ABC's, colors, and shapes no problem.  Just after bath, however,  we asked Vivi to count from one to ten in Spanish, and she did no problema, but then I said to go ahead and count to ten in English...she proceeded to say "No, I can't do that!"  UGH, I'm so not surprised.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Random Tuesday

Random Tuesday comes at the perfect time of the week. The adventures of the previous weekend still remain etched in your noodle and typically you're not too far into the week to have extreme mental fatigue. I truly wish that this was a typical week.

Last night or should I say early this "Random Tuesday" morning I experienced one of those overnight parental crises that we've all had to endure......being startled and awakened in the middle of the night (1:35 A.M. to be exact) by a child's crying, then retching, then the mad dash to the nearest bathroom with 20 feet feeling like 20 yards, then not quite making it, then holding the child's hair as she vomits and vomits and vomits....then the clean-up, then putting the child to bed with a waste basket and towels, and finally the paranoia that history would repeat itself very did again at 3:30A.M. followed by Bren's complaining of nausea and being extremely warm at 4:45A.M (I opened her window).....UGH and I had finally gone back to sleep and was having one of those cool college reunion-type dreams.

Yep, we've all been there, and thank heavens they're both feeling better today. Truly remarkable how much better kids seem to feel when you tell them that they can stay home from laughter as the best medicine.

So what are we doing today? I can tell you that we're not watching results of the California "Special" Elections....experience tells me that the 10 or so Californians heading to the polls today will shoot down anything resembling higher taxes. In Sacramento, NBA Kings fans are hoping for a lottery miracle so we get the #1 pick in June's draft.

Bren and I were just playing "Guess how old the cast members of TV's "Full House" are today?" I'm happy to report that I totally nailed it on Bob Saget, John Stamos, and Candace Cameron. Now I can take my dog and pony show on the road or get hired on by Six Flags as a weight, age and IQ guessing boy.

If you haven't fallen asleep already, have you ever noticed when you buy a "mixed bag" food item that invariably one item is rejected by your family and either you have to eat it or it gets thrown away? At our house, no one likes the new Honey Graham Z-BAR flavor. Ditto for Plain oatmeal in the Kirkland variety pack. Most despised of all from the chip bag....drum roll, please............FRITOS!

Finally, I've uncovered an inexpensive, calorie free reward system for the preschool set, and I'll pass it along to you free of charge (mostly as a thank you for surviving today's post). Kids go absolutely ga ga for music videos on Youtube, especially dance videos. In fact, I added "Groove is in the Heart" to my favorites this past weekend, and the triplets watched it over and over again....the heck with ice cream or frozen reward to date and it didn't cost me a darn thing! Absolutely, Dee-Liteful!

Monday, May 18, 2009

"That" annoying question

Good morning and happy Monday. I was prepared to compose a "feel good" post this A.M., but I heard "that" annoying question yesterday afternoon and I can't let it go. Any guess as to what was said? Here's a hint... it's arguably the unsolicited question that pisses the living hell irks an at-home dad the most. In fact, since this was a Sunday afternoon, any father might take issue with this one.

Perhaps this event is the equivalent of witnessing a purple three-legged giraffe walking down the street for some individuals, but truly once in a blue moon a dad might take the kids out of the house without a mom. Is this really so unusual? Come on! I was just hanging out at Petsmart minding my own business with the triplets and playing with the kittens available for adoption when an obnoxious old hag older woman asks "are you giving Mom a break today?"

Uh, let me ponder that one for a sec.............hell no hag "Long you have some time ma'am? You might find this quite informative. To answer your question...yes and no, mom took our older daughter next door to Kohls to try on bathing suits and I'm killing some time here at the pet store, but honestly our situation is probably not too different from other families in America 2009. Here's the story Carol Brady. Sometimes Mom and Dad both work outside the home. Occasionally, neither works at all. In other cases, one or the other isn't even home at all........

Now Harriet Nelson, sometimes Mom or Dad will work outside the home while the other is what we call "at-home" or in your day "stay-at-home"... I'm actually currently the at-home dad and she's the out-of-home mom , so to answer your, I am not actually giving her a 'break' today but you can give me one! So I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your effen questions to yourself June Cleaver!

OK, I'm starting to feel better. I'm telling myself that she didn't mean any harm. But why if she felt the need to say something didn't she find something more creative to ask or at the least offer a canned compliment? What did she have to gain by asking me "that" annoying question? To me, this ranks fairly close on the insensitivity scale to asking a dieter how much more he intends to lose...or a single woman in her mid-30's when she's getting married.

Here's a suggestion for next time......let's just talk about the weather. Out.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Happy 11th Birthday Bren

Dearest Brenna -

Mom and Dad can't believe that we have an 11-year old. Cliche yes, but it seems like just yesterday that a 9 lb, 7 oz "cone head" was pulled kicking and screaming from a weary second year medical student who became a new mother. I imagine that it's obvious to you now why we celebrate Mother's Day every year. I chose a picture of you with R.E. Dad's Mom to mark your day.

Just to be clear and honest. You are by far my favorite "tween" and I couldn't be anymore proud of you or your accomplishments if you were my child. Oh wait, you ARE my's so very obvious. You, like your Dad have that quirkiness gene that Mom MD doesn't. We enjoy singing out loud, but unlike dear old Dad who tends to sing alone and is clearly tone deaf, you actually can carry a tune & have the ability to brighten our day with your music ....a talent inherited from your late Grandpa Paul, a gifted musician and fantastic human being.

As I begin to close this birthday message, I wanted to mention that I can't begin to understand how the addition of the triplets jolted and turned your world upside down. Just know that they so admire you, like Mom & Dad do.

Happy 11th Birthday, Fuzzy B.

Love (R.E.) Dad

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Random Tuesday

What a surprise that I'm cramming two posts within twenty-four hours after averaging a new post about every four to five days the previous couple months. As my late Grandma Edie used to say after I made a good word score while playing her in a game of 'Scrabble', "what are you celebrating?" I honestly do not know. Maybe, it's Bren's upcoming "Weekend Birthday Extravaganza" or the triplet's graduation from preschool. Perhaps, it's simply due to the arrival of Spring in Northern California.

The family had a fantastic Mother's Day, not just because we attended our first Strawberry Festival, but for quality time spent together. My Mom wrote me a powerful heartfelt note via e-mail yesterday telling me how much spending the day with our family meant to her. My Mom & I spent the better part of the afternoon outside on the patio talking politics while watching the triplets splash around in their "froggie" pool. Meanwhile, Mom MD had the opportunity to continue reading the latest "Twilight" series book and bake cupcakes with Bren.

Onto another topic, I wanted to mention that I've recently made the decision to stop worrying so much about what other people do or say as it's really not my business. If they chose to smoke, waste water, go to the casinos or overeat, then they are certainly free to do so. My concern lies with the well-being of my immediate family and judging from the pile of laundry this morning, there are quite a few of us living under this roof.

On a much lighter note, Bren just can't let go of our experience at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom last summer when she & I allowed a young fella to guess our ages. To Bren's horror, he had her pegged perfectly at "ten", but I was "twenty-seven" which if you know my actual age is just a couple years off!

AGAIN, last night at dinner Bren was talking about her 'young' father when Vivi asked "Daddy how old are you?" I just smiled and said "twenty-seven of course" because I'm starting to get used to the idea that maybe I could pass for my twenties in a dark enough room. Right away Vivi said "Oh my God!" Yes, I suppose to a four-year old, even twenty-seven is ancient.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The new family pet

R.E. Dad's clan finally took the plunge and obtained our first post-child family pet. 'His' name is "Hermie" and he's an extremely camera shy hermit crab.  The weekend ritual of casually browsing local pet stores in the name of free entertainment has been interrupted.  Now our weekend jaunts to Petsmart will have Hermie's well being in mind.  In fact, the first order of business this upcoming weekend will be to shop for a decent "crib" for little Hermie as this tiny plastic container is substandard....I don't want to be labeled a "slumlord."

If anyone is to blame for our new addition, I suppose that person would be the guy who is typing this post.  Yep, after being the steady "NO" man for months with reference to any kind of pet adoption from fish to ferret (illegal in California by the way - no, not fish, ferret), I became swept up in the moment.

The family (including my Mom) spent part of our Mother's Day attending the revitalized Strawberry Festival at the Placer County Fairgrounds in Roseville. So after eating a wonderful pancake breakfast complete with strawberries, whipped cream and sausage, we ventured over to the ride and game area of the festival.

After watching the kids go on a few rides, we decided to check-out the ping pong ball toss which was well shaded on a warm sunny morning.   For $5, you could get 30 or so balls and toss them towards about 15 rows of small fish bowls. The prize for one ball in a bowl was one small hermit crab. Two balls in a bowl (that doesn't sound good, sorry) was a medium hermit crab. Three balls in a bowl meant a muy grande hermit crab.  I thought why not....$5 and the kiddos could have at it.

I was right...the kiddos did have at it throwing ping pong balls all over Northern California but clearly had next to no chance of scoring a hole-in-one about the same odds as a snowman winning a surfing competition.   Good?  Yes, but R.E. Dad couldn't help himself and tried a tad too hard to "win."  Uh oh, I did make one in and yadda yadda yadda, we now are proud owners of a little hermit crab in a blue shell.   The triplets were thrilled!  Mom MD and I were stuck.

On our way out of the festival an older couple with their grown son stopped us and asked "where did you get the hermit crab?"  After we told them about the ping pong toss game, they mentioned that they bought a hermit crab for their son when he was a young boy, and have had the same hermit crab for 32 years!

Later in the evening after the kids had gone to bed I asked Mom MD "what the heck was that couple talking about, no way could they have had  a hermit crab for 32 years......I wasn't thinking that this would be such a long term commitment."   She said not to worry "we'll probably screw-up and kill the crab long before then."   I wish no ill-will on Hermie.  I'm glad the kiddos have their first pet.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bring back 'Cheers'

I'll have to admit when 'Cheers' premiered  on September 30, 1982, I was about as far away from an old tavern in Boston both mentally and geographically that a person could possibly be. At fourteen and domiciled  in a seemingly desolate  California desert town, I doubt that I was the targeted audience.  

For me, the only TV that mattered was on MTV.  Do you guys remember that late great network launched on August 1, 1981 before it went to the girls?   So many memories of world premiere videos,  concert dates, cool VJ's living in NYC drinking cheap coffee on an even cheaper set on a Sunday morning.  Let's not forget the mind-numbing videos in which the concept for the video was seemingly created before the song was written.

But I digress.    The Life and times of the original MTV generation is reserved for another post.

Bellying back up to the bar,  I imagine at the time I couldn't conceive why a handful of middle-aged adults would want to spend so much time away from their families in a dreary basement bar consuming spirits and exchanging banter no less.  'Norm' what a slob.  'Cliff' what a know-it-all. 'Diane' what a preppy snob.  'Sam' what a male gigolo.  'Carla' what a pro creator.  'Frazier' put a sock in it!   'Woody' oh woody... someone call the village, your idiot has been found in Beantown.

Over time with the demise of MTV as it was originally intended to be enjoyed by its founding fathers, I began watching 'Cheers' with more regularity.   Some characters left the show while yet others were introduced.  'Lillith" was my favorite newbie...'Rebecca' not so much.   But despite those minor character flaws (alluded to above) in which we all possess, the bar patrons and the employees presented that human need for fellowship.

Sadly, I'm not sure if the networks would consider a sit-com (with laugh tracks) centered in a watering hole.  Not really "PC."   Some schmo with a lisp might say "Oh wow guys, drinking isn't too good for you.  It leads to bad decisions, and goes hand-in-hand with smoking, gambling and prostitution.  I won't even mention those possible chronic ailments including cirrhosis of the liver, and the tremendous potential monetary costs to society."  

Oh please!  We're not romanticizing drinking.  The setting could be at Starbucks or Einstein Bagels.  There is nothing wrong with finding an establishment that "everyone knows your name" or at least in my case they recognize me and remember how I like my java or my bagel prepared.   In these tough economic times, why not extend pleasantries, and build camaraderie everywhere we go.   We could all use a shot of 'Cheers' in our lives.