Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Melman - Life's little irritant.

I'm going to pick on Melman from the movie "Madagascar" or as the triplets say "outta gas car." He's the annoying as crap little toy giraffe that was included in Mickey D Happy Meals a couple of months back.

If you've boycotted McDonald's, don't have kids or can get away with just ordering off the $1 menu (lucky you), here's the story. Some genius in the promo department working with a toy manufacturer in China developed and built (in mass quantities) Melman and his fellow zoo escapees to speak (presumably lines from the movie Madagascar II).

These tiny plastic monsters have an internal sensor that blurts out drivel when touched, moved or shaken. The first time is cute, but within about 30 seconds the novelty expires (10 seconds with triplets, do the math). Upon arriving home, the toys scatter ending up in various baskets or boxes, under a bed or in the doll house.

Fast forward to this morning. I'll tell you now that I'm generally easy going and have a ton of patience. In the case of the kids, many times I'm able to tune them out (usually by singing or simply going in the other room, closing the door and watching TV). OK, I don't do the latter too often. Anyway, over the course of the last two months while picking up and throwing toys into baskets throughout the house, a Melman has belted out his three infamous lines "What are we going to do?"...."OW OW OW!"...."You really need a doctor!" Today I snapped!

Do you have "Melmans" in your life? Maybe it's a flickering fluorescent light under a kitchen cabinet, an alarm that goes off everyday at 1PM somewhere in the house, or a pile of junk in your closet that you have to step around just to get to your clothes. These minor irritants are mine actually, but I haven't snapped (at least not at the time of this posting).

So what did I do with all the Melmans? I found four in the house. Well, I had corralled them and was heading for the trash compactor when I discovered a small on/off switch on their tiny bellies.....damn, was it really this simple? Moral of the story, don't let your minor irritants or "Melmans" get the best of you. Look, listen and take action. Sometimes the solution is simpler than you realize.............Best of luck.

8 comments:

Michelle said...

My Melman is my husbands dogs fur everywhere. Wish I could just hit a switch and shut the shedding off!

Bee and Rose said...

My Melmans are tiny Barbie shoes that seem to attach themselves to the bottom of my feet when I least expect it! Oh, and legos...they like my feet too...hmmm...guess I should pick up around here more often!

Employee No. 3699 said...

Does a coworker count as a Melman? I wish I knew where her switch was because she's always flipping mine.

Sterling said...

Yeah, we got one of those Melman things. I found this blog because I was trying to figure out on Google who the heck it was who really needs a doctor. I love to imitate this giraffe's voice and send my one-year-old on a confused search for Melman. She loves him!

A Free Man said...

I've got a sort of loose boycott going with McDonalds. I only eat there when an overwhelming urge for a crap hamburger hits me. But you've given me another reason not to go...

Maybe we should just boycott Chinese crap.

Jess said...

You are so right...but wanting a quick solution to make oneself happy sometimes makes us bypass the obvious one that makes everyone happy! I enjoyed this post!

Kat said...

We don't have Melman but we have the stupid effin zebra dude from Madagascar and I swear I throw another toy into the crate and I hear Chris Rock start talking again I am gonna lose it as well. I hate the damn toy.

Other Melman in my life includes this load of laundry that has been sitting in my living room for the past 2 days unfolded because I haven't had time (other that right now cause you know I am wasting time blogging and such).

Reinvent Dad said...

Tee hee, appears that we all have little Melmans in our life.