At-Work or At-Home???? The Decision

Perhaps I'm spoiling the suspense, but I've made the decision to remain "At-Home" for the foreseeable future. I appreciate all the input and suggestions.

To recap, I received a call from a former boss who indicated that an underwriting position may become available in the near future. The job would be within two miles of my home working Monday through Friday, and roughly 40 hours per week. She wanted to know if I was interested. I said that I would need a few days to think it over and discuss with Mom MD....in the mean time, of course, I decided to solicit the opinions of my friends in the blogosphere.

Again, salary and benefits were not the driving force while contemplating a return to the workplace. I can't say, however, that I didn't feel a strong sense of guilt knowing that so many Americans including acquaintances, former colleagues and even a close friend had been laid off in recent months. I'm pulling for them to find new employment.

So, why not go back for the social outlet (w/adults). Yes, it's nice to chit chat with your workmates, but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking about who's making dinner tonight, my daughter's big social studies test, or about getting back to work as I can't stand having files pile up on my desk! I've made very few friends from the workplace over the years, and I can now see why....I don't like to do anything at work, but work!

That feeling of accomplishment for completion of a job well done lasts only about five minutes in my line of work. As soon as I complete one file, it's on to the next one. Anytime I attempt something new at home.... say trying out a new dinner recipe, and over sixty-seven percent (that's 4 or more) of the household does not complain I am certainly feeling very good about myself! Now, that's a feeling of accomplishment.

Other considerations dealt with time constraints. I understood this new position would not afford the flexibility to work part-time or at home. I would have significantly less time to continue rehab after back surgery by going to the gym. Someone would have to get the kids ready in the morning, pick them up in the afternoon, and take care of them when they were sick...that "someone" would most likely be me. Chores would have to be divided up and most likely we'd have to hire a cleaning service. Ultimately, I'd lose time for not only myself, but with Mom MD and the four kidlets.

Therefore, as Bren enters sixth grade and the triplets start Kindergarten in the fall, I'm eager to have additional opportunity to volunteer at their school. I'm doing my best to make nice with the other parents, mostly moms of course. I want to be around to assist my kids with homework or any other challenges that they might face. I want to be there for Mom MD so she can perform her daily tasks at the highest level. This is my life for now and I'm sticking with it!

Stay-At-Home Dad article

The Sacramento Bee published an article yesterday addressing a day-in-the-life of stay-at-home dad Chuck Hammond who takes care of his 1-year old daughter Reagan while his wife works full-time outside the home. By the way, I prefer the term "at-home" dad as S.A.H.D. implies that the male caregiver has been ordered to remain at home until further notice.

The article addressed the typical topics of layoffs, down economy, household budgeting, changing daily routine, and the feeling of isolation. All of which I could go into much more detail, but I won't as I don't want you to leave quite yet. What I thought was fascinating were the comments made by SacBee readers online.

Public opinion ranged from "Be a Man, Get a Job" to "Finally some recognition for the dads...." Of course, there was also the name-calling, and bickering amongst the responders. Some felt that the increase in at-home dads meant an erosion in "traditional" family values and roles. Others felt that this trend is the result of a bad economy. Even others felt dads at home was no big deal, heck what do they want a medal for rearing the children and doing household chores?

My two cents (& maybe you can figure out which comment in the Bee is mine)....the "traditional" family has changed drastically in the past 50 years....like it or not, that's the way it is. You or You and your partner must take care of your immediate family first and foremost. Your situation is what it is...your situation....and unique. You shouldn't care what other people think. Thank you for putting yourself out there Chuck, good luck with your decision and enjoy your little girl!

If you want to check out Chuck's website, it's http://dudesondiapers.wordpress.com/2009/04/15/dudeondiapers-in-the-news/