Tuesday, April 28, 2009

At-Work or At-Home???? The Decision

Perhaps I'm spoiling the suspense, but I've made the decision to remain "At-Home" for the foreseeable future. I appreciate all the input and suggestions.

To recap, I received a call from a former boss who indicated that an underwriting position may become available in the near future. The job would be within two miles of my home working Monday through Friday, and roughly 40 hours per week. She wanted to know if I was interested. I said that I would need a few days to think it over and discuss with Mom MD....in the mean time, of course, I decided to solicit the opinions of my friends in the blogosphere.

Again, salary and benefits were not the driving force while contemplating a return to the workplace. I can't say, however, that I didn't feel a strong sense of guilt knowing that so many Americans including acquaintances, former colleagues and even a close friend had been laid off in recent months. I'm pulling for them to find new employment.

So, why not go back for the social outlet (w/adults). Yes, it's nice to chit chat with your workmates, but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking about who's making dinner tonight, my daughter's big social studies test, or about getting back to work as I can't stand having files pile up on my desk! I've made very few friends from the workplace over the years, and I can now see why....I don't like to do anything at work, but work!

That feeling of accomplishment for completion of a job well done lasts only about five minutes in my line of work. As soon as I complete one file, it's on to the next one. Anytime I attempt something new at home.... say trying out a new dinner recipe, and over sixty-seven percent (that's 4 or more) of the household does not complain I am certainly feeling very good about myself! Now, that's a feeling of accomplishment.

Other considerations dealt with time constraints. I understood this new position would not afford the flexibility to work part-time or at home. I would have significantly less time to continue rehab after back surgery by going to the gym. Someone would have to get the kids ready in the morning, pick them up in the afternoon, and take care of them when they were sick...that "someone" would most likely be me. Chores would have to be divided up and most likely we'd have to hire a cleaning service. Ultimately, I'd lose time for not only myself, but with Mom MD and the four kidlets.

Therefore, as Bren enters sixth grade and the triplets start Kindergarten in the fall, I'm eager to have additional opportunity to volunteer at their school. I'm doing my best to make nice with the other parents, mostly moms of course. I want to be around to assist my kids with homework or any other challenges that they might face. I want to be there for Mom MD so she can perform her daily tasks at the highest level. This is my life for now and I'm sticking with it!


Kat said...

Nothing wrong with being a SAHD. We need more of you guys around.

msprimadonna67 said...

If you can stay at home with your little ones and that's where you want to be, then that's the place for you! Whether you're a stay at home dad or a workplace dad, what they'll remember is how important you make them feel they are in your life, and I can tell already that you're an amazing dad to those darlings!

marathoner81 said...

I think it's awesome that you're staying at home. If only more men were as invested as you are with their kids.

A Free Man said...

Good on you, it's a tough decision and a tough gig. We need a new acronym for guys that stay at home with the kids. SAHD is too close to sad. Let's come up with one.

phd in yogurtry said...

Hooray for all of you! I know Mom MD appreciates your sacrifice and your dedication. And thanks for sharing your struggle.