A Future Shocking!

I woke up early this morning with a feeling of pending dread. No, not for the near future, but instead the seemingly-but-really-not-so-distant future....Spring 2022. In case your math ain't so good like my grammar, I'm projecting 10 years into the future.

I'll assume that my wife & I are still healthy at 54, the Earth hasn't been struck by a meteor or the liberals haven't succeeded in drafting a "Brave New World." My oldest daughter will have (hopefully) graduated college and my triplets will be about to graduate high school. My Mom will be elderly and my wonderful poodle girl will not be so youthful if at all still alive. I will be 15 years removed from the mortgage biz and completely bored out of my gourd, kind of like today.

Seriously, the United Negro College people had it right when they said "a mind is a terrible thing to waste." This applies to not only black youth, but old white guys too. What the heck am I doing? What the hell am I going to do? I am not as stupid and lazy as my current situation presents. I was good at what I did. I was a contributing member of the corporate world back in 2007. I am better than this. I will be better than this. I promise.

To be continued.............please!

"That" annoying question

Good morning and happy Monday. I was prepared to compose a "feel good" post this A.M., but I heard "that" annoying question yesterday afternoon and I can't let it go. Any guess as to what was said? Here's a hint... it's arguably the unsolicited question that pisses the living hell irks an at-home dad the most. In fact, since this was a Sunday afternoon, any father might take issue with this one.

Perhaps this event is the equivalent of witnessing a purple three-legged giraffe walking down the street for some individuals, but truly once in a blue moon a dad might take the kids out of the house without a mom. Is this really so unusual? Come on! I was just hanging out at Petsmart minding my own business with the triplets and playing with the kittens available for adoption when an obnoxious old hag older woman asks "are you giving Mom a break today?"

Uh, let me ponder that one for a sec.............hell no hag "Long story...do you have some time ma'am? You might find this quite informative. To answer your question...yes and no, mom took our older daughter next door to Kohls to try on bathing suits and I'm killing some time here at the pet store, but honestly our situation is probably not too different from other families in America 2009. Here's the story Carol Brady. Sometimes Mom and Dad both work outside the home. Occasionally, neither works at all. In other cases, one or the other isn't even home at all........

Now Harriet Nelson, sometimes Mom or Dad will work outside the home while the other is what we call "at-home" or in your day "stay-at-home"... I'm actually currently the at-home dad and she's the out-of-home mom , so to answer your question...no, I am not actually giving her a 'break' today but you can give me one! So I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your effen questions to yourself June Cleaver!

OK, I'm starting to feel better. I'm telling myself that she didn't mean any harm. But why if she felt the need to say something didn't she find something more creative to ask or at the least offer a canned compliment? What did she have to gain by asking me "that" annoying question? To me, this ranks fairly close on the insensitivity scale to asking a dieter how much more he intends to lose...or a single woman in her mid-30's when she's getting married.

Here's a suggestion for next time......let's just talk about the weather. Out.

At-Work or At-Home???? The Decision

Perhaps I'm spoiling the suspense, but I've made the decision to remain "At-Home" for the foreseeable future. I appreciate all the input and suggestions.

To recap, I received a call from a former boss who indicated that an underwriting position may become available in the near future. The job would be within two miles of my home working Monday through Friday, and roughly 40 hours per week. She wanted to know if I was interested. I said that I would need a few days to think it over and discuss with Mom MD....in the mean time, of course, I decided to solicit the opinions of my friends in the blogosphere.

Again, salary and benefits were not the driving force while contemplating a return to the workplace. I can't say, however, that I didn't feel a strong sense of guilt knowing that so many Americans including acquaintances, former colleagues and even a close friend had been laid off in recent months. I'm pulling for them to find new employment.

So, why not go back for the social outlet (w/adults). Yes, it's nice to chit chat with your workmates, but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking about who's making dinner tonight, my daughter's big social studies test, or about getting back to work as I can't stand having files pile up on my desk! I've made very few friends from the workplace over the years, and I can now see why....I don't like to do anything at work, but work!

That feeling of accomplishment for completion of a job well done lasts only about five minutes in my line of work. As soon as I complete one file, it's on to the next one. Anytime I attempt something new at home.... say trying out a new dinner recipe, and over sixty-seven percent (that's 4 or more) of the household does not complain I am certainly feeling very good about myself! Now, that's a feeling of accomplishment.

Other considerations dealt with time constraints. I understood this new position would not afford the flexibility to work part-time or at home. I would have significantly less time to continue rehab after back surgery by going to the gym. Someone would have to get the kids ready in the morning, pick them up in the afternoon, and take care of them when they were sick...that "someone" would most likely be me. Chores would have to be divided up and most likely we'd have to hire a cleaning service. Ultimately, I'd lose time for not only myself, but with Mom MD and the four kidlets.

Therefore, as Bren enters sixth grade and the triplets start Kindergarten in the fall, I'm eager to have additional opportunity to volunteer at their school. I'm doing my best to make nice with the other parents, mostly moms of course. I want to be around to assist my kids with homework or any other challenges that they might face. I want to be there for Mom MD so she can perform her daily tasks at the highest level. This is my life for now and I'm sticking with it!

What to do with the 2nd Half of My Life

All right, let's get this web log started. For me, this marks my very first journal entry ever (after what was required in elementary school, of course).

I have a few reasons to begin this forum. First of all, I love to write. I was a journalism major for a couple semesters in college (in between accounting and management), but mostly I enjoy creative writing. I want to discuss those issues that I hold dear including family, and being the father of triplets + 1 quirky 10-year old girl. Speaking of that "big sister", I will ask for her input for this blog as she is more net savvy than I.

Most of all I want to learn more about myself. I'm soliciting the advice of strangers (& perhaps someday friends) who might provide suggestions as to which course a (gasp) 40-year man should take after being laid off from the shrinking housing industry. I'm fortunate that my wife is gainfully employed, and I have the luxury of time to sort out the dilemma.

So, stay-at-home dad or back to corporate America? In 2008, a dad staying home with his kids is still quite uncommon. Businesses target "mom" as the decision maker for purchases both big and small. Websites like cafemom.com aren't too inviting to dads seeking advice on parenting or hoping to form neighborhood play groups. On the other hand, corporate America is cut throat and job opportunities are disappearing. The mortgage business has imploded and won't recover anytime in the near future. HMMM, what about door #3?