Yadda yadda

So I've been on Facebook way too much recently attempting to craft cutesy retorts, post family pics from here to timbucktoo, and play junior detective and locate colleagues from six jobs ago. The social networking phenomenon continues. One can only wonder what life will be like ten years from now? Maybe we will be keeping tallying of new friends we meet outside the Internet as opposed to old friends we find on The Net. This would be significantly more challenging......... especially for R.E. Dad.

OK, I'm wondering why on all these American reality talent shows is the British judge the only one who can be honest and tell it like it really is? Is this why we have TWO British judges on "America's Got Talent?" Can't Americans be critical of other Americans? To me this is a slap in the face of ALL Americans to have the Brits critique our national talent shows. The U.S. population is 5x that of the U.K. Would you find American judges on British, Chinese or Australian talent shows? Heck NO, mate.

So did President Obama really believe that a last minute flight across the pond to plead his case for Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Olympics could sway the committee? I believe the Brazilian president had been campaigning, selling, pleading and begging the olympic committee to give Rio the nod for well over a year. Mr. President, please get back to more pressing issues like the economy or Iran.

Baseball playoffs are coming this week! I absolutely love this time of year. The cool crisp autumn air combined with the win or go home intensity being played out in eight major league cities is something to behold. In baseball and unlike the NBA, any team including a Wild Card can run the table and grab the glory. Go Cardinals!

Back to Facebook....has anyone ever been "de-friended?" I actually was and can't figure out why? I mean I have blocked a few people who wanted me to be their friend, but why why why did someone strike me off their list? Turns out after hours of analysis after realizing that my friend count had decreased, the person who de-friended me was someone I'd gone to high school with and knew for many years prior to this. Could it have been this blog, my political views, my cyber breath or was it an accident? I need to know. Yadda yadda. To be continued.....

Back from NYC, Letterman & stuff.

I've been away so long that I almost forgot my password to re-enter the blogosphere. Fortunately after a few tries I got it right. So where have I been the past 3 weeks? Well, last week I was in New York City doing everything tourist. I had been to NYC a couple times, but never for more than a few days.

We visited The MET, MoMA, The Guggenheim, and the American Museum of Natural History. Such incredible museums full of priceless collections! We were absolutely overwhelmed, but beyond thrilled and honored to have the opportunity to tour such American treasures.

We attended the Broadway musicals 'Billy Elliot' and 'Chicago.' Both were brilliant. Live shows on Broadway with the best of the best acting, dancing, singing, directing, choreography, acoustics, etc. in an intimate setting have no comparison in the world of entertainment. It is truly the major leagues without cavernous stadiums, expensive cheap beer and blaring music.

Speaking of MLB, we saw the Yanks vs. the BoSox at the new Yankee Stadium. Definitely, not the "House that Ruth Built".... but a beautiful sports stadium none-the-less. Unlike the new Cowboys Stadium the jumbo tron or whatever you call it wasn't located in the middle of the field, but was incredible to watch.

So, now back home to my reality. Mom MD is back to work, the triplets are in Kindergarten, and Brenna is trucking through 6Th Grade. Unfortunately, the bratty girl from last year is in her class this year and is still up to her 'old tricks', but we're addressing the issue with her teacher and hopefully can get her to leave Bren alone once and for all!

So what's this extortion attempt towards David Letterman? Even though I contend that this is the type of distraction that tends to turn Americans away from the really important issues of the day, I think it's fascinating. I can't believe that Letterman broached the whole enchilada in front of his studio audience, who by the way thought the story would be funny!!!

While in New York last week, Mom MD and I attended a Letterman taping. As a member of the audience you are instructed to laugh and applaud each and every joke (whether you understand what the heck was just said or not). Any other type of sound is frowned upon big time. After watching last night and knowing what I know about audience participation and expectations, the confession in which Letterman interjected humor felt beyond awkward and would have been very uncomfortable for the audience especially after they had been drawn in to laugh at everything Letterman says.......that's all I have to say 'bout that.

9/11/01 Before and After

September 11, 2001 forever changed America. Even though dozens of acts of terrorism had been occurring over and over throughout the globe for many years, Americans collectively chose to keep our fat heads buried in the sand. Those same shining towers in Lower Manhattan were bombed in 1993. No big deal, right? After all, the north tower didn't collapse and fall into the south towers as planned and only six souls perished with just around 1000 injuries....

Give me a break. This along with scores of other events should have been our wake-up call. Instead, we chose to worry about the destruction of our computers at the dawn of Y2K and felt compelled to know how much action President Clinton really did get while working OT in the oval office?

I probably was as guilty as anyone. Back in 2001, a much smaller R.E. Dad family lived in West Hartford, CT patiently waiting for Mom MD to complete her residency. If you aren't familiar with one of the most beautiful towns in these United States, West Hartford lies in the central section of Connecticut about 125 miles from Manhattan.

That horrific day, I remember grabbing my daily cup of joe and salt bagel from Brueggers Bagels at the town centre, and driving a couple miles south on Main Street to reach my office in time for work at about 8:30. I still recall remarking to the lady who sat in the adjacent cubicle at how gorgeous it was that morning. A bright sunny sky combined with a cool breeze gave me the incredibly comforting feeling that it was simply a fantastic time to be alive. I remember logging into my computer, eating my breakfast, opening up my first file, and then...............

A female co-worker runs by and says a plane has run into the World Trade Center. My first thought was that it must have been a small plane like the one that recently collided with a helicopter in NYC over the Hudson River. An accident, right? We quickly locate and turn on our training TV.

Oh my God, live on a grainy old TV we see a commercial plane run smack into the other tower. No pilot error. This is an act of terrorism. Who and why? Pre-9/11, I honestly believed everyone on Earth loved the United States...the only remaining superpower. After all, we provide food, medicine and military support to anyone anytime with no questions asked..at least so I thought.

The days that immediately followed were gut wrenching....so much carnage. Friends and relatives frantically searched for their loved ones. Videotape of the plane flying into the tower, the gaping hole in the Pentagon, and the collapsing of the once mighty giants ran 24/7. We couldn't stop thinking of the terror that those innocent souls who were flying on the four hijacked planes must have felt. We felt sorrow, but our mourning turned to anger. We wanted revenge.

We had been violently shoved off the top of the mountain. We weren't invincible. We couldn't just ignore the rest of the planet. This was the new reality. Fast forward to 9/11/09.

We as Americans can NOT return to Pre-9/11. Please do not let this happen. Too much has been sacrificed. Too many of our fellow citizens including New York's Bravest and Finest were lost that day. Our military continues to fight overseas in harms way for our freedom. Please remember this day and take nothing for granted. We are the best country in the world. Don't forget, don't ever forget! I promise I won't.

Latest info

Forgive me Father since it has been at least two weeks since my last post. A confession might be appropriate in this circumstance I suppose, if I was Catholic and if anyone truly cared. Well, I'm not Catholic, and based on my page imprints and significant increase in followers in the past few months (NOT!), I'm thinking the latter is a true statement as well.

I just don't have a shtick that causes a stampede back to my blog hour after hour, day after day. To become a super blogger, you have to have some kind of hook. I'm not a fantastic writer. I don't tell funny jokes. I'm not interested in biking. I'm not female. I'm not an academic. I don't live anywhere special.

Yes, I do have triplets and am an at-home dad, but with the proliferation of fertility drugs and the massive rise in unemployment especially among American men, this just isn't news anymore. I could dive into the debate as to whether Lady Gaga is really a man or perhaps even a hermaphrodite. Maybe I could open up a forum on universal healthcare, family budgeting or the problem with today's youth? Would you like to hear my opinions? It's like I know a little about a lot of topics, but not enough to stir a thoughtful debate.

I could revisit the career that I gave up on way too early. One that I never took too seriously. One that I was pretty damn good at doing. One that is now a distant memory.....

So this is where I am today. The kids have been in school almost three weeks. Mom MD and I are going to NYC for a week very soon, but I'm fearful of that H1N1 flu that seems to be heading in our direction. I'm tired of both the democrats and the republicans.

Actually, life is pretty darn good. I can't complain or maybe I just did. Sorry, the next post will be more upbeat.

First Day of School and stuff

Oh boy, Mom MD was not all too happy about my previous post where I mentioned that smokers can be sexy. Bad R.E. Dad! In fact to all you kids who may stumble upon this blog, please recite this message 100x "According to the Surgeon General, smoking is bad, very very bad and I'm not going to even start 'cause cancer sticks contain yucky stuff that could make my lungs look like LA in the 70's and retard my brain making me less likely to attend a mid-level university, marry a supermodel, and have a rewarding career...besides a pack of smokes cost like $8 in NYC."

Oh, and I wanted to add one additional 'Honest Scrap' - I wish that I had the ability to project five seconds into the future because I'd love to know if the person that I'm considering holding a door for intends to say "Thank You." If not, I'd have no problem letting the door go slam bam into their face.

So anyway, today was the triplets first day of Kindergarten, and the beginning of Bren's last year of elementary school. We took pictures and I've including a couple above. What was very cute was how the Kindergarten teachers came out and handed each parent a short note attached to a plastic baggie containing a tea bag and a cotton ball. The note read...

Dear Parent:

Thank you for entrusting your child to us. We promise to do our best every day to be your child's companion in learning.

After you have wiped your tears, make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Put your feet up and relax. Then hold the cotton ball in your hand. The softness will help you recall the gentle spirit of your child. We will work alongside you this year to help your child grow.

Very sweet gesture. No tears were shed by our family, however, until I brought the note home and my Mom (the retired K teacher) read it. Here's hoping that the kids have a fantastic school year. I'm looking so forward to hearing about their first day of 2009/2010.

Honest Scrap!

Jess tagged me like forever ago to complete the Honest Scrap which of course I neglected to do, and now I have to live with the fact that I totally missed the boat (i.e. the award ceremonies).

Let's take a stab at this....

1. I've had more pedicures than I've golfed. Metrosexual debate aside...you tell me - which sounds more relaxing?

2. I was known to sing "Big Balls" by AC/DC on occasion at our college parties.

3. Half my brain believes a smoking woman is super sexy, the other half knows that it also causes cancer, emphysema, yellow teeth, wrinkles and bad breath.

4. I'm convinced that more Netflix "Chick Flicks" ended up being scratched and unplayable then the typical testosterone enhanced drama. I can appreciate a woman who not only can hold her liquor, but a DVD as well.

5. I still haven't been able to convince my Mom that I was a fat kid (as a significantly higher percentage of kids are fat these days, I was ahead of my time, I suppose).

6. Diets are much less complicated than most people realize. You simply burn more calories than you consume.

7. I'm definitely not for more governmental regulations, but I believe that lowering the drinking age to 16 and increasing driving age to 21 would significantly reduce auto accidents. Just beware of drunk teens on bikes.

8. Sean Connery was my favorite James Bond. Although "The Spy Who Loved Me" with Roger Moore was my favorite James Bond movie.

9. Speaking of a former bonds, Pierce Brosnan in "Mamma Mia" was by far the worst singer that I've ever seen in a movie.

10. The only pet I've had in the past eight years is a hermit crab, but keep in mind I have triplets!

This was kind of fun.......

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Late on a Tuesday Afternoon

Time for yet another installment of R.T.T., yeah you know me! (my apologies, old very inside joke). I'm a tad punchy today and I can't say why?

Anyway, what's with the United States Postal Service? Back in the not-so-distant past in a previous career, I was the first to refute any claim that a lost or delayed letter was clearly a postal error. As my Mom might say "they're all messed up!" Why do I say this? Consider that both my Mom and I put a stop on delivery while on vacation a few weeks back. When we returned, both of us had other people's packages (O.P.P) and mail delivered to us. Wouldn't you be concerned that maybe, just maybe your mail could end up someone else's box? I am. This is beside the fact that for a few years I've received mail for my deceased father, and a Madeline with the same last name spelled differently who actually purchased my Mom's house nine years ago!

Why do my neighbors break the CC&R's? Call me crazy, but some prospective buyers specifically search for homes in subdivisions where homeowners do not allow their friends and relatives to park their R.V.'s on the street in front of their homes. We were such buyers. We don't appreciate having boats, business trucks and tow trailers on the street or the driveways for that matter........it's against da rules. I do not have a problem with grown-up toys, but please go live on a street that people aren't concerned about it or move further out onto some acreage.

I'll have to admit that Disneyland might be the "Happiest Place on Earth" after all. Seriously, when the family went a few weeks back, we had an absolute blast. The five-year olds walked the entire day and went on (almost) every ride we threw them on. No fear, no crying except after the Indiana Jones ride when Vivi said kind of a matter of factly "Daddy, that was scary...let's not go on that ride again." Lines were long, temps were high and the wallet took a major hit, but all in all, I'd say given the smiles and excitement totally worth it.

I can't believe how quickly the summer has vanished. School begins for our sixth grader and three Kindergartners a week from today. This will be the only year that all our kids will be attending the same school. Like most parents, I've tried very hard to make this final summer week as boring as possible especially for Bren the sixth grader so she can get into that scholastic frame of mind. The triplets will actually be split up with Alec and Vivi going into one class and little miss go-getter JuJu going into the other. JuJu and Alec have no fear, but Vivi might need a slight push come the first day of school. To be continued.......

Pet Store Antics #1: I really don't hate birds.

I mentioned in an previous post that I worked for a pet store for a couple years during college. Until the past year or so I had almost completely forgotten painful hamster bites, overpriced mutts and the stench of aquarium water changes those warm cuddly creatures. Recent family excursions to the poor man's zoo our local pet stores have stirred memories filled with long hours of snagging five cent feeder fish with a freakin' holey netcustomer service with a perpetual smile.

OK, the kids want a living breathing animal and I'm trying desperately to delay the inevitable as it's common knowledge around here that R.E. Dad will feed, bathe, and pickup the shit I will be the primary caregiver. Yeah, the hermit crab has it's limits....

Enough about the present. Let's fall back into the late 80's before the big-box retailers had a strangle hold on America. I worked for a mom and pop company...we'll actually no mom just pop due to a recent divorce. This fairly young hipster dufus with zero knowledge of pet care budding entrepreneur actually owned two stores and I often found myself at the smaller store closer to campus. Now, there was a "GM" who was actually quite "petwise", but after the owner gave him a truck he seemed to spend most of his time driving to the big city to retrieve tropical fish and marijuana supplies.

Almost overnight I became the king of the dipshits unofficial assistant manager who still made about a nickel about the minimum wage. Don't get me wrong, I was NO animal expert in any sense of the imagination. In fact, I pretty much deferred questions to my fellow oppressed pet store co-workers who each seemed to specialize in a certain type of animal. Let's talk about "Bird Girl."

Bird Girl - She loved all types of birds. She hand fed birds. She trained birds. She called me at home from the store to tell me about depressed birds, lonely birds and birds under the weather. One summer evening she called to tell me about a very sick bird that had to be euthanized. I said OK, I'll snap his little neck in the morning okie dokie, tomorrow I'll shove him out the back door and hope he survives the mean streets of Chico. She said "Oh, no - you must come right now and take care of him the most humane way possible...he's in a great deal of pain."

"Uh, come again...how do you waste a bird?" *Disclaimer to all those who know this subject better than I.........this was what she told me to do......she was the bird expert, not me. Don't contact some bird rescue society, please*

So how did I do it? Well, she said to place the bird in a plastic bag, walk out to my car, turn on the engine and place the bag over the tailpipe. So I did .... and it worked bye bye birdy. Long before Jack Kevorkian became a household name, there existed a pet store employee who hoped he ended a bird's life the most humane way possible. At the very least, he earned the respect of "Bird Girl."

This was Pet Store Antics #1.............just one story of many.

Dear So and So....Numero Tres

I know that you just couldn't wait any longer. It's time for another installment of "Dear So and So." Perhaps I'll start a mini "So and So" marathon.

Dear Ju Ju,

I know you believe that those red bumps on mommy's and daddy's faces are mosquito bites. Often times that is the case, but once in awhile our faces and those of teens and adults around the globe break out causing pangs of stress, anger, bitterness, and shame. When your first pimple arrives one day in the distant future understand that we've all been there. Dermatologists don't recommend that you "put the squeeze on the zit" so to speak. This may leave permanent scars on your face.

My advice, don't listen to the doctors. The ONLY good thing about having a zit is running into the bathroom, peering into the mirror, zeroing in on the bugger and squeezing it into oblivion! Crap I probably said too much. You're only five. Hope I didn't traumatize you.

Love,

R.E. Dad

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Dear Honda Corporation,

The sticker mentioned that my '09 Pilot would probably get 22 MPG's on the highway and 16 MPG's. I realize that this is JUST an estimate, but if I drive exclusively in the city I get about 12 MPG's. That isn't too good or even close to 16 MPG's. Back when I spoke with your salesman, he liked to discuss the engine's ability to switch to three cylinders to enhance fuel efficiency, etc. I just want you to know that I'm now feeling disappointed and a bit mislead.

Perhaps you should mention that the 22/16 figure applies only when the vehicle is on cruise control and set at 50 miles per hour or coasting down a hill for the entire tank of gas. Maybe, you should add another category to highway/city.....the suburb which would include an even lower figure to account for frequent stops at school, gunning it around town to complete errands and idling in the drive thru.

Just a suggestion,

R.E. Dad

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Dear President Obama,

You're not fooling anyone with your Universal Health care ideas. Why don't you fix social security, medicaid and medicare before even considering embarking on this endeavour?

R.E. Dad

Tripletisms 8/10/09

I was just playing my new favorite game on Facebook. Nope, I'm not talking about Mafia Wars or Texas Hold 'Em. I'm referring to the "Friend Suggestion" area. After a while those 'friend' suggestions really get out of hand, so I like to see how quickly I can "x" out of them before more 'suggestions' are made by FB. Think Robert Hays' character in the 1980 movie "Airplane!" during that one scene at the airport where he ends up beating up flower children, Hare Krisnas, and anyone else who stood in his way. Why would I want to be a friend of a friend's sorority sister or a fan of the Boston Celtics?

That's right. I was going to list a couple "tripletisms." by my soon-to-be Kindergartners...

*Walking around Balboa Island last week (doggie poopy on the sidewalk)*

• Julia - "Ah, don't step in the dog poop!"
• Alec - "Gross"
• Vivi -"Super Gross"

*Yesterday morning on the patio (I'm explaining to my Mom about Julia's Nightmare)

• R.E. Dad - "She woke up crying and totally out of it"
• Grandma J. - "Nightmare?"
• R.E. Dad - "I'm thinking so, but she was totally delirious....she finally said "I shouldn't have poured all that water." "Whatever that means...????"
• Alec - (in his deep voice with a slight lisp due to a chipped front tooth) "What's a nightmare?"
• R.E. Dad - "It's a bad dream where you wake up scared and feel bad"
• Alec "Oh yeah...I had one of those last night...I see a robot in the park and he shoots me dead"
• R.E. Dad/Grandma J. - "OHHHH"
• Alec - "That's my nightmare!"

*This A.M. at Pre-school* (Vivi comes over to give me a hug good-bye)

• Vivi - "Dad you smell like a fart!"
• R.E. Dad - Vivi, I don't think I ever will smell good enough for you!!!
• Vivi - "Uh huh"

Gotta go and pick up Bren from the airport. She's returning from a week in Vegas Baby! (at her Grandma M's place)...

Miscellaneous Bologna!

How does this happen? My blog is currently the #1 hit on Google for the quote "I've been living a lie and it's time to come clean." I'm not making this up. For me, the post from which I made this lighthearted admission was meant to be comical, but for many individuals who search the Internet this quote represents a confession. These souls are dealing with emotional pain and turmoil and seek to finally alleviate their pain, suffering and guilt. As my Grandma Edna used to say "the truth will set you free..."

In case you're wondering....this isn't a lead in to a R.E. Dad confession! Heck no, any lapse in judgement leading to an incident of questionable morality or possible illegal activity will be taken to my grave, thank you! I have nothing to say. I didn't bring this up to talk about myself anyway. Just an observation. OK?

Speaking of quotes, I never realized how often Mom MD and I actually quoted lines from the late John Hughes' movies. Recently, we were stuck on that scene from "Sixteen Candles" when the handsome Jake knocks on the Bakers' front door..........

• Long Duk Dong: [opens door] Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you my new - new-style American girlfriend.
• Jake: Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right?
• Long Duk Dong: She not here.
• Jake: Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she?
• Long Duk Dong: She got married.
• Jake: What?
• Long Duk Dong: She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk.
• Jake: Married?
• Long Duk Dong: Married.
• Jake: Married?
• Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married [closes door]
• Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married?
• Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez!

Love me the (character) Long Duk Dong. He wouldn't be "PC" in 2009, but in 1984....it was ALL good and the Earth still rotated on its axis, the birds still sang at the break of dawn, and John Hughes was creating teen movies that defined my generation. Rest in Peace Mr. Hughes. Without your vision, the only teen movies we'd be remembering from the 80's would be those Porky's movies.........Yikes!

Speaking of R.I.P, I wanted to give a shout out to my late Dad. Happy If-you-were-still-alive 75th Birthday! Brenna loves to practice on your Steinway! You'd be so proud of her like Mom MD, Grandma and I are.

Have a fantastic weekend everyone..........

Dear So and So....Numero Dos

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain

Oh, how I've missed the blogosphere the past couple weeks. No, I haven't died or worse found outside-the-house employment. The family recently returned from a week at the beach down in So. Cal. My Mom decided many moons ago that a vacation down on the tiny resort island named Balboa near Newport Beach would represent an excellent family escape from the ordinary. So she sprung for a place and the rest they say is history, but might I add our family's trip....was extraordinary!

Now back to the "Dear So and So" created and inspired by Kat who has chosen Fridays as her day to correspond to the various "so and so's" in her neck of the woods across the pond.

Dear owner of the Shell gas station in remote area off Interstate 5,

We realize times are difficult and the other two gas stations at this exit have closed, but pony up the $1,500 to fix the compressor on the A/C. The young man Mom MD spoke with works 10+ hour days/6 days per week during the hottest times of the day. Customers come and go quickly and it isn't too much of an inconvenience to use the hand dryer instead of paper towels in the bathroom, but this guy is minding the store ALL day. Please give him a break not to mention a decent health care plan.

R.E. Dad and Mom MD

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Dear TSA at Orange County Airport,

I know you were only doing your "duty", but you absolutely broke my five-year old son's heart when you confiscated his brand new snow globe after searching his tiny backpack. Alec probably spent twenty minutes looking for the perfect souvenir to bring home from Disneyland. Yes, I suppose the liquid volume was slightly above 3 oz, but I highly doubt a sealed globe with pirate treasure and floating gold flakes posed any threat to national security. Rules are rules I suppose, but I'm thankful I wasn't there or I'd probably be writing this from jail.

R.E. Dad

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Dear Three Sisters who bought Mom's house,

My Mom might be one of a few surviving members from the generation that values honesty and integrity above all else....when issues were either black and white..... who understood the significance of eye contact, a verbal agreement and a firm handshake.....a generation that might include the oldest baby-boomers up to the youngest from the "greatest" generation.

Even though you're old, I refuse to include you. You didn't treat my Mom the way she deserved or expected to be treated. In fact, she probably let her guard down BECAUSE she thought you three were just like her. Mom was mistaken.

What am I talking about? Oh yeah, I'm referring to the $4000 credit she "gifted" you for the phantom repairs that weren't necessary. Remember how you said the roof needed replacing and the heating and air conditioning needed to be repaired? Wrong cupcakes! The roof dude actually said the roof had three plus years of life remaining and my Mom FIXED the A/C three days before she moved out despite you having a Home Warranty in place. Did your agent even mention this to you? Did she ask nicely if the $500 repair to the A/C could come off the $4000 "credit for nothing?"

This was the same agent who FORGOT to check the requirement for Section 1 repairs and begged our agent to not tell you (to save face). Back to the $4K...turns out this money went directly to your contractor via escrow to help defray the cost to YOU for a new kitchen. By the way, thanks for rubbing that in my Mom's face as well. I have to say that it was very difficult for Mom to "sign and approve" a contractor's bid that had NOTHING to do any repairs knowing that her money went directly to your remodel.

Hope you don't burn yourself on your new stove

R.E. Dad

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**For my readers.....sorry about the r & r, but my Mom wouldn't let me send a "real" letter to the sisters or their awful agent.**

For every positive event, there's an equally negative event......

Honestly, I'm having one of those weeks where so many positive, uplifting, and gratifying events are followed immediately by equally negative events.... complete downers that quickly turn my smile into a frown. Knowing that life often seems like a random sequence of events, I'm guessing over the course of one's lifetime...the pluses and minuses balance each other out like debits and credits on an accurately completed accounting statement.

What is so bizarre is how short lived my celebrations seem to be. Almost like "Yes I WON the lottery" to just a nanosecond later stepping off a cliff and plunging to my death on the jagged rocks below. OK, that's a bit extreme, but seriously....it has been a bizarre week of nice ups and quick downs.

Today was the last straw. I was waiting to get a haircut at Supercuts (don't ask) when I read that my beloved Cardinals just traded for Matt Holliday, a three-time All Star who will hopefully take them over the hump and lead them back into the playoffs. Ecstasy for the sportsboy, right? Yes, but just a few minutes later I'm sitting getting my haircut, and for the first time in umpteen years, a stylist tells me that I have dandruff! NO freakin' way I say. More on this later.

Now, earlier this week I was leaving Bren's and Vivi's eye doctor in midtown. I had just talked the parking attendant into reducing my parking fee from $2 to $1 because in all seriousness we were there from 2:42 to 3:44, and parking was $1/hour. I was like "it took me those two extra minutes just to find the exit out of this bloody lot." Completely satisfied and wondering whether to invest or save that extra dollar I turned from the lot onto the street and a crazy lady flagged me down.

She had to be a 'tweaking' meth or some type of drug addict. After slamming on the brakes and reluctantly rolling down my window she asked me to either watch her kids or give her some money because her car was broken down and she needed to take the bus. She was probably 35, but looked 45, filthy as all heck and had a hospital bracelet which was crumpled, partly torn and dirty. I didn't see any kidlets nor did I see a broken down car. This was a tough decision, but without being witness to any event, after reading "Beautiful Boy" and with my two young girls in the car I decided that I had to leave. I said no, rolled up my window and hit the gas. Safety was the most important consideration in making my decision, but I still felt guilty.

My final incident was a bit less serious, but more physically painful. Vivi asked if we could go to the pet store on our way home. I really really didn't want to go as I needed to come home and do Facebook or blog fold laundry. I'm like "how 'bout a piece of gum instead?" She said "yes." I said "YES!" Of course, while celebrating a victory over a five-year old I reached for the gum, and sliced my thumb on the side of the gum package........paper cut, paper cut!

In conclusion, I'm NOT going to jump for joy for awhile. I won't even smile or present a hint of a smirk. No way. I'll put on my poker face until this positive vs. negative, plus vs. minus, or whatever you choose to call it goes away.....

As for me, right now I'm going to hit the shower scrub my scalp and start using the expensive "product" that everyone else in this house uses...I'm going wean myself off the Kirkland brand for good!!!!

Guess What I Am?

Let's play a quick game. I'll give you three words to describe a brand or name of something. You tell me what I'm talking about.

1. Plastic
2. Unscented
3. Super

HMMMMM, tough one?

**Update: K and J, you are absolutely correct. Aunt JB, you were certainly on the right track. BC, you're silly 'cause silly p is not made out of plastic...at least it wouldn't make sense if it was??

Since I've become House Beotch and have had to run 'that' errand on occasion I've never seemed to get it right....I've brought home cardboard when plastic was requested...scented when unscented was asked for....and finally regular instead of super. This is more difficult than finding irrigation system replacement parts at the Home Depot or a very specific rare ethnic ingredient at Safeway...

Alas, after her slamming my head against the wall helpful words of encouragement, I've finally found an E-A-S-Y way to remember...I just go by the first letters of the three words listed above. They certainly point me in the right direction... I'll never forget again. Thanks for playing along.

Let's mix it up a bit - a controversial topic.

Debate over California's Prop 8 which amended the California constitution to define marriage between a man and a woman continues to rage and thus polarize citizens of the "Golden State." The Sacramento Bee had an article this A.M. about a proposed bill that would recognize gay marriages from other states.

As some of you know, I lean to the right both fiscally and socially. I don't believe one can be fiscally conservative, but socially moderate. I also realize that it isn't chic to champion conservatism, but I decided to comment anyway.........

"Doesn't tolerance and acceptance of gay marriage fall into the belief of Federalism? Beneath federal laws (enumerated powers) each state comprised of various groups of people has the authority to determine the will of the majority based on beliefs, values, etc. Therefore, if you're offended by smoking, don't live in North Carolina. If you hate paying more taxes live in Nevada, Florida, New Hampshire, etc. If you are repulsed by the death penalty, don't live in Texas. If you hate farmers don't live in North Dakota. If you love to drive fast live in Montana.

My point? You have a choice to live in ANY state that you choose keeping in mind that every state is unique, has different customs, demographics, and laws. Just like I wouldn't go to Alaska and ask fisherman to stop fishing or move to Nevada and expect the gaming industry to end gaming...I wouldn't move from Massachussetts to California and expect Californians to change what the majority BELIEVES IN and that is marriage between a woman and a man."

Give me the "Dumbing it Down" version

Are you ready for some yummy tuna casserole or as we tell the triplets....noodles with stuff in them?








I recently found myself in the kitchen, alone and staring down at what I believed was the simplest cooking recipe known to any man, woman or preschooler for that matter. Oh no, actually I'm quite wrong about this. I became aware last evening that I'm too dumb to even decipher the easiest of the easy Internet tuna recipes from Cooks.com.


Last night while I was in the process of boiling my elbow noodles for the above recipe (which by the way I've learned to "doctor up" with onions, cheese and a bad of potato chips), Mom MD walked by the stove, peered into the pot and asked how many cups of noodles I had used? My reply was "three, as that is how many it says on the recipe!" Here's how the simple recipe reads:

3 cups noodles, cooked

Mom MD's reply was "no, that's not right." I then said "Huh, what do you mean? Says right HERE, 3 cups noodles, cooked.....I put 3 cups of noodles in and I'm cooking them." She then said that this is not what it means and she can see why a man wouldn't understand this.....What the freakin' hell exactly am I missing here?

OK, I've read articles in recent years about the necessity by Betty Crocker and Co. to "dumb down" their cookbooks to reach new generations of culinary challenged individuals. Again, how am I getting this wrong? This was a SIX ingredient recipe from the Internet for pity sake. Mom MD then proceeded to explain what the directions really meant.

The cooked noodles should equal 3 cups. So how in the heck am I supposed to know how many noodles to put in the pot in the first place? We all understand that raw noodles expand when cooked, so how many dry cups of noodles yields 3 cups of cooked noodles? IF I put in three cups to begin with then I'll be wasting plenty of noodles when it's time to combine the ingredients. Am I lame here or what? I'm starting to think so............

Perhaps the answer to my puzzle is how the directions are worded? 3 cups of noodles, cooked....3 CUPS of noodles, cooked...3 cups of NOODLES, cooked..3 cups of noodles, COOKED.

OK, I think I understand. The recipe wants 3 cups of cooked noodles. So why doesn't it say this in the first place? Why doesn't it tell me how many cups of raw noodles to put in to yield 3 cups of cooked noodles?

The more I think about this...the more I think there is some kind of gender bias working against me. We men (especially those challenged in the kitchen) want to know how much to put in the pot in the first place to have enough noodles to complete the recipe. Is it 2 cups to make 3? How about 1.75 cups to make 3? We prefer exact numbers and appreciate precision. Just tell us. Forget the guessing and the eye balling. Just tell us (& me), please!

I suppose I can take comfort that I was only making a tuna casserole and not building a rocket or something..........

Silly Haiku Wednesdays

Hot steamy Roseville

Maybe I will stay inside

Nah, Sunsplash is close

Let's here it for Jen @ You Know that Blog who has more Haiku creations.

Summer of '89

Summer has always served as my season for reflection. Perhaps this is because I often find myself living vicariously through my children while they swim, attend camps, play outdoor games, eat popsicles, and otherwise enjoy anything and everything that kidlets do during those steamy months.

As Mom MD and I discuss on a regular basis, kids' carefree summers from the 70's are worlds away from the carefully planned summers of today. OK, admittedly it was a different world with no bike helmets, MP3 players or Wave boards, but it was our time, my time..a simpler time full or great memories.

But I actually wanted to look back on ONE of my favorite summers as an adult.

Summer of '89 - In Chico between my 3rd and 4th year of college.

Talk about hot, steamy and still. Chico summers remind me of the Midwest without quite as many mosquitoes. College guys are notoriously cheap when it comes to modern comforts like central air conditioner. We preferred to spend our extra $6 on a twelve pack of Coors and why not, when you're buzzed who the heck cares about dripping with sweat? I mean we had an apartment pool, showers, fans, and of course the river.

Tubing down the Sacramento River back in the day felt like heaven on Earth. Sun, women, beer, sun, and more sun, beer and women! OK, so the women didn't always want to go with us, many actually went to summer school or held down jobs, but the beer and sun never turned us down. After a few hours of drifting down the Sac with beers consumed, and bodies baked, we'd jump into the backs of the trucks, laying on the tubes to keep them from flying away. No cops within miles, fewer rules and no cell phones to disturb our buzz.

If you're wondering I did hold down a part-time job working for a local pet store. I suppose you could have called me the king of the dipshits the unofficial assistant to the assistant manager. Tales, not "tails" from the pet store are reserved for a future day. Summer music rotated between Tom Petty's "Full Moon Fever" and The Cult's "Sonic Temple." All bars were within walking distance. I had a girlfriend. I had a roommate who worked for a liquor store. I had few responsibilities. It was our time, my time, a simpler time full of great memories.

Fast forward twenty years to reality, it's now my time to check the laundry. I will do about five loads today along with the grocery shopping, the soccer daddy duties, and the preparation of this evening's family supper. Maybe, though, I'll take a few extra minutes and head to the garage and reach way behind all the rubber target tubs to that Huggies size six box that contains most of my old CD's. Perhaps I can steal a few more moments with tracks from good old Summer of '89.

Tell me your best summer memory............

Random Tuesday thoughts on Saturday: Why not, it's almost Tuesday again!

Here we go again. Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts, this time on Saturday as I'm a day late and a dollar short. Check that, I'm four days late or three days early (take your pick) and god knows how many dollars short.

Well, this Thursday R.E. Dad shaved which has become an increasingly rare event since I left the labor force almost two years ago. Heck, who am I kidding? I hardly ever shaved for the benefit of my fellow office mates either.  Just ask them.  After a few weeks, however, I just couldn't stand that tingly feeling of my whiskers swaying  like prairie grass in a meadow (felt like dozens of bugs crawling on my mug).

Funny, I used to think that when I shaved I looked years younger like I'd be carded trying to get into a rated "R" movie.  But what about now?  Not so much.  I see the beginnings of a "Turkey Neck".   I remember that my Mom used to give my Dad shit  a hard time about the loose skin below his chin.  I don't believe he liked the idea of having a big ass wattle either!

Speaking of family...Mom MD and I have a couple of ongoing debates.  I'm curious what you think.  The first one is unwrapping presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?  The second has to do with kissing on the lips.  Nope, I'm not talking about your spouse.  I'm talking about kissing everyone else on the lips like your kids, your mom, your step dad and your grandma.

Speaking of kids....a tripletism.   The triplets have been taking swimming lessons through the city parks and recs the past couple weeks, but missed a couple days due to a pooping brat some kind of chemical imbalance at a local high school pool.  The city added a make-up day to be held on Thursday at another high school.   The night before the trips were to attend their make-up session, five-year old Alec asked me what the boys would be doing at tomorrow's swimming lesson.  I said "I don't know what do you mean?  Probably, the same thing as the girls....why?"  He said "Well, the girls will be doing make-up!"

Yeah, different type of make-up Mr. Man.   Again I don't make this stuff up.  

I wanted to go into some other stuff like what a difference between telling a new relationship with whom you will soon be cohabiting  that you'll be moving in with extra baggage vs. additional luggage.  This is a potential life altering event.  How do people learning English as a second language survive?

So much more, but gotta go for now.....hope everyone is enjoying their weekend...

Hello

Ok, so it's R.D's daughter again! Since I haven't been able to get into my own blog lately, I wanted to post something. Now, it's time for a R.D. pop quiz!! I will ask you a few multiple choice questions about my dad, and the person that gets the most right without looking at his bio or past posts will be recognized in a future blog. (don't tell my dad,he's sleeping) Anyone who wants to may participate, . Ready? Begin!

1. How old is my dad?

A. 28

B. 34

C. 50

D. 41

2. How many kids does he have (including me)?

A. six

B.none

C. three

D. four

3. What is his favorite food?

A. blow pops

B. filet mignon

C. pizza

D. tuna casserole

4. What is his favorite drink (you'll have to guess this one!)

A. Dr. Pepper

B. Diet Coke

C. Sierra Nevada Beer

D. Hi-C

4. What does he refer to my mom as in his posts?

A. Big Mama

B. The Mum

C. Mom M.D.

D. Amy-Amy

5. What is his favorite thing about my mom?

A. she is smart

B. she is beautiful

C. she is kind

D. she is wealthy

E. she doesn't like hannah montana

**********you are not required to participate, only if you choose************

**Update 7/10/09 - Answers now on comment section and please note that I was NOT taking a nap yesterday when she hijacked my computer, I was doing bills!

Why do married people over 40 drink?

Another one of life's little mysteries has crept up behind R.E. Dad, tapped me on the shoulder and asked quite the perplexing question..."Why do married people over 40 drink?" By "drink" I'm referring to an adult beverage which has the potential to alter one's physical or cognitive ability. I'm wondering what purpose does consumption of alcohol really have once you've found your life partner, reached middle age, and finally understand that it's easier to function the next day without a hangover.

I understand why young people consume mass quantities of intoxicating liquid refreshment...to be social, to meet members of the opposite sex, and to break away from their parents. I understand why senior citizens drink as well...to be social, to meet members of the opposite sex, and to break away from their adult children. So why the heck do "hitched" middle agers tap the keg?

I asked a couple married forty-year olds this past weekend why they think their peers still drink. One said "to relax after a tough day." This totally makes sense to me...stress release. But aren't there healthier alternatives such as exercise, yoga or a deep penetrating shoulder massage? Another answered "to take you away from your worries." HMMM, this sounds like something a good book, relaxing music or just an evening of Home & Garden TV can solve.

Binge drinking and alcoholism are beyond the scope of this blog. I don't really want to go there. I have discovered that I do not need a drink in my hand to be social. In fact, I choose my words much more carefully and am less likely to put my foot in my mouth. So again, why should I drink? Why do married people over 40 drink?

Is it the kidlets...the children? Do they drive us to drink? Once upon a time I DID think that this was the case. I thought that a fantastic idea for a company that sold alcoholic beverages would be to create an ad campaign that exclaimed "We don't make the kids or raise the kids...that is your job...OUR job is to make them much more fun!"

OK, so tell me...what do YOU think? If you're married and over 40...or heck, married under 40...or even single over/under 40...give me your thoughts.............please.

Summer has really really arrived! Random Tuesday Thoughts

Man has it been freakin' hot here in the Sacramento Valley.  I have to laugh at the Nation's Weather Map as so often it doesn't give a clear picture as to how hot it really is for the majority of our state.  Sure it's in the 70's along the coast (San Diego, Los Angeles and San Francisco), but move inland a few miles and we're approaching or are experiencing triple digits.   I suppose no one cares too much, however,  as our neck of the woods might as well be considered the final descent after leaving the fly-over states.

This past weekend Mom MD and I drove about 90 miles north to our college alma mater in Chico, CA for a "Late 80's/Early 90's" reunion (& of course our wedding anniversary).   Catching up with friends and acquaintances was totally awesome.  80's night at LaSalles was especially fun even though I didn't partake in any adult beverages as a result of hopping back on the wagon from a tough morning that followed an even rougher night.

One benefit of not drinking in a college town was how inexpensive if not free sodas (pops for you in the Midwest) were.  Designated drivers must be difficult to recruit and retain, so they're showered with freebies, and treated like royalty in the college town.  In all seriousness, returning to my old haunts was quite surreal.    At least one memory or story for almost every place we went, but as time keeps slipping into the future, it seems like the events that unfolded some twenty years ago are less significant and pale in importance to what my life is right now.

As some of you saw, I posted a few wedding pics from 17 years ago this month.  What's interesting to note about me then was that I was the heaviest that I had ever been or have been since.   Knowing that I was so fat on my wedding day has always been difficult for me.  Just one of those times in my life that IF I could go back and make a change, I  most certainly would.   To think that I was both unemployed and fat....what was future Mom MD thinking?

I swear I'm working on some new stuff...I just can't finish.  Sister of Mom MD is here this week with her kidlets, so it's quite the zoo.  I can't wait for the 4th of July.  I enjoy everything that it represents and all the events that will take place on Saturday within the boundaries of this glorious country.

Happy (17th) Anniversary Mom MD!

You know I had to start with your favorite picture from our wedding album.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story.  We had a buffet at our reception.  Notice how much I pilled onto my plate?  Was I nervous or just worried that I wouldn't get enough to eat?

Wow, has it really been seventeen years?

All my love, R.E. Dad

Twitter is lame

I'll admit that I've been away for awhile. I mean mentally, not physically. In fact, I haven't ventured more than 10 miles from home in a few weeks. I have that bizarre feeling like I often experience in heart-pounding nightmares where I'm in college, I stop going to class, and then have to play catch-up the last week of the semester, write term papers and cram big-time for finals.   Ultimately, I fail.

In other words, when I drift away from the blogosphere after a period of just a few days, the effort to return to "form" would be a swimmer's equivalent of swimming from Fisherman's Wharf to Alcatraz and back while doing the butterfly with one arm in 20 degree choppy water (You get the idea).  Of course when I don't post, then I don't feel worthy to visit fellow bloggers' sites.  Yadda yadda yadda, you get the gist. 

So in the past few days while avoiding the blogosphere, I did venture over to Twitter.

You've heard of it, correct? - the latest and not-so-greatest social networking site.  If you had been watching CNN the past several days (prior to yesterday), ALL that you would see were the "tweets" reportedly coming out of Iran.

Anyway, so my daughter asked me to join up.  I refused for a couple weeks as I truly wasn't interested.  Seemed like Twitter had taken over for what cell phones had become in recent years...the "Hey, yep, now I'm driving through Mickey D's and ordering a freakin' Happy Meal...and I was just blowing my nose"  - like I really care.

So I caved and joined and jumped through this hoop and that hoop.  Finally came time to add people and guess what?  I found two people that I know.  I didn't look too hard, but geese!  Now after a few days, I have something like eight people "Following" me who I do not know...so I'm wondering why?  Guess why? Wonder why?  Here's why....they decide to follow you, and when you go back to see who the heck they are, they share a website to market some product.  

What is the Twitter name for "spam?"  Twam?  Interestingly enough if you check out one of your followers, you'll notice that they have NO one following them and they are following 900 people......I think it's beyond creepy.  

Even beyond creepy, and a bit frightening, I wonder if people are actually "Tweeting while driving?" OK, perhaps I'm being a bit harsh.  Maybe, not.  For now, until I can find a use for Twitter, I'm just going to call it "lame."

Mom MD's quote...was she talking 'bout ME?

Mom MD made the Sac Bee again......here is the link..."Birthing centers make room for Daddy"

I played around with the Share This button for a good hour and couldn't figure it out.  Pretty lame, I know.

Dear So and So.....Numero Uno

Good morning to all creatures in the Blogosphere - I'm going to grab an idea from Kat and try out the "Dear So and So" on this beautiful Friday.

--------------------

Dear JuJu,

Oh why do you get up so early? Daddy, Mommy, your siblings and the preschool try so hard to wear you out the previous day with the hopes that you'll sleep in past 5:30AM. Even so somehow and someway you are so determined to crawl out of bed, tap the rooster on the shoulder and hand me the remote to turn on the Disney Channel.

Hugs and Kisses (and perhaps a big present if you sleep in tomorrow)

R.E. Dad and Mom MD
--------------------

Dear (Former) life insurance company,

Thank you so much for advising us in such a kind and pleasant tone that you were denying our request to reinstate our term life insurance policy that was cancelled in error by our financial adviser's office. Honestly, it made me feel so much better that your representative over the phone explained that we could have just allowed our premium payments to lapse for six months and our policy would still have been in place. That's a great lesson for the kids. It's OK to be irresponsible towards your obligations, but when an error or mistake is made by someone else....consequences are nonnegotiable and severe.

Thanks for nothing, Jackass Respectfully,

R.E. Dad and Mom MD
--------------------

Dear Hermie the Crab,

I love taking you out of your cage and letting you crawl around on the kitchen table. I've noticed that when I'm holding you in my hand that sometimes you like to "pinch me." Is it because I'm stressing you out and you would prefer to just hang out on your plastic plants instead. Please let me know. Maybe you just don't like me. Either way, please let me know because it might not be too late to beg Mommy and Daddy to get me a better pet.

Your Pal,

Alec
--------------------

Dear "Golden" State in which I reside,

Thank you so much for reducing the allowable exemption for dependents by $210 per child. Honestly, I was beginning to feel a tad guilty about the piles of money that I was receiving in tax refunds each year. So, with the higher taxes that we'll be paying, am I to assume that our schools will improve and perhaps that you'll hold the line on state college tuition increases?

Signed,

Big Daddy with Big Family in Big State.
--------------------

Done for now.

The story BEHIND this dress.

If articles of clothing had the ability to communicate, this dress could tell one helluva a doozy tale. Since this is quite impossible, R.E. Dad has volunteered to do the honors.

This morning 5-year old Vivi and I were rummaging through the girls' closet in hopes of coming to a mutual agreement on today's wardrobe. R.E. Dad, knowing that the Vivster epitomizes the "girly girl" when it comes to fashion suggested a dress...

R.E. Dad - "How 'bout this one Viv? Looks like a winner" (I didn't recognize the dress - remember I wash the clothes - I don't buy 'em)

Vivikins - "Dad, that's Brenna's old dress, but it fits me"

R.E. Dad - "OK, put it on so we can go downstairs and have breakfast"

Vivikins - "Yes Daddy" (She quickly and quietly puts on the dress)

So on the way down the stairs the triplets and I pass by the built-in bookshelves that contain all the old photo albums....for some reason and she's never done this before...I hear the sweet voice.....

Vivikins - "Daddy, can you get me the album with the leaves on it?"

R.E. Dad - "OK" (I pull it down, open it up and take a look to see which album it is - it's the
album when big sis Brenna was roughly around the ages of late three to early five.
I give the album back to Vivi and we go downstairs)

Vivikins - (Sitting eating her breakfast and looking at the album) "Dad, Julia...look at these
pictures, Brenna is wearing the SAME dress!"

R.E. Dad - "Wow, what a strange coincidence!"

Now the story BEHIND the dress. Brenna wore that dress at her 4Th birthday party...which she celebrated with about 8 of her preschool (girl)friends at our blue colonial house in West Hartford, CT on May 11Th, 2002. Holy crap, that was more than seven years, four homes and three babies ago!

I remember so much about that day including what a beautiful bright sunny Spring day it was. I remember Mom MD and Bren's Godmother spending some incredible sum (like $90) on the candy, decorations and party favors. I remember setting up a small party table in the sun porch. I remember the girls playing musical chairs and duck duck goose on the grass behind the house. I even remember getting the final whack on the pinata.

Yes, I remember lots of details about that day. Brenna remembers some stuff as well, but it's what she forgot to do that headlines THIS story. When she went upstairs to change into her dress before the party, she did not put on her panties! She went pantiless all the way through the party and no one noticed until after the party ended. Tell me how this happens? The girls ran and played on the grass, and we had lots of adults around as well.

I had videotaped the party (which is my excuse for not noticing) . So after the party was over, Mom MD and I immediately hooked-up the video recorder to the TV. We were very curious to see if the video showed any hint of a pantiless child. HMMM, maybe at duck duck goose or sitting on the couch unwrapping presents? No, not really...videotape was clean and harmless. Bizarre and unexplainable...perhaps Brenna did have panties on throughout the party and for some reason took them off just before the party ended? Theories abound.

Since then I don't believe Brenna has ever forgotten to put on her panties, but what about Vivi and JuJu? Are they remembering? I have to confess I don't believe I've ever asked them. So on our walk to preschool this A.M.

R.E. Dad - "Vivaroo are YOU wearing panties?" (motions to lift dress and get visual).

Vivikins - (Moving away at light speed) "YES DADDY!" (With the preschooler look of WTF)

I suppose next time I should just ask..........

Summer has arrived: Random Tuesday Thoughts

Summer has arrived for R.E. Dad....basketball and hockey have both crowned a champion, FINALLY! Perhaps next year one of my teams will stumble into the playoffs. Yeah, believe me I'm not going to hold my breath for ten minutes or even worse pre-purchase seats from Ticketbastard. By the way, the grab button has been provided today by "The Un Mom." Drop by her blog and say "Howdy."

I've been considering re-naming my blog "The Blog About Nothing"......think about it. Come on, Sunday my post was a Gummy Bear video.

I have a new Melman in my life....the keyless remote for my car requires about 1 million PSI to do its thing. My thumb ain't strong enough to make the unlock and lock buttons respond in a timely manner. I've received some very undeserved and quite hurtful stink eye from members of my own family, Mom MD included.

Do you think that people who go out to dinner in the Netherlands really whip out the pocket calculator after the bill arrives, and say "I had the chef salad and iced tea, here's my money and I won't pay one euro more! I'm Dutch and proud of it!"

California parking lots are terrible. Compact spots abound, but most of us still drive minivans, SUV's and larger trucks. Tight spaces, poor visability and perpetual headache are the norm. What REALLY is the point? All I get are dinged doors and more aggravation. Hey, an idea...how 'bout we pretend that it snows so we get one huge blacktop with some painted lines? We don't need more trees in parking lots. This just creates more opportunity for birds to crap on our ride.

Speaking of California. The state lawmakers recently banned hand held cell phones while driving. Guess they thought that this was a major distraction which could have dire consequences. Perhaps, but why not go further...ban children while driving. Any parent will tell you that it's easier to eat with chopsticks while driving than having kidlets bouncing and wailing behind you.

Speaking of kids. Do you think toy companies calculate how long it takes the average parent to cut, tear, stab, rip and mutilate that hard plastic packaging that holds their little darling's newest toy hostage? At our house we probably lose an hour of our Christmas morning opening those damn things. Someone find a toy representative. Ask them if a parent has ever gone postal or worse tossed a Susie-poops-a-helluva-lot in the fireplace attempting to pry open that dreaded packaging?

Speaking of crabby. The hermit crab IS still alive. In my opinion, we're pretty decent hermit crab keepers. Recently a letter to the editor in our local paper blasted the people who were allowing hermit crabs to be used as prizes at the Strawberry Festival saying that they are "delicate creatures" and need a great deal of care (not to be taken lightly). Huh? So, should all potential hermit crab owners be required to obtain a permit? What about babies? Any idiot can have one of them without a license.

Finally, the triplets have evolved from "potty talk" to "body talk." Yes, we're talking about private parts almost as much as Howard Stern.

So much for "Random Tuesday Thoughts" - welcome to Summer '09.

Gummy Bears!

Youtube has become the family's latest destination for entertainment. Bren found this gem yesterday,

played it for the rest of us, and now NONE of the family can extract this bloody tune out of our heads.

See what you think. I bet you can't play it just once.

Six Word Saturday

Chilly June, thought this was Sacramento!

Hey it's R.D. Daughter! Comment?

Hey it's me Brenna, R.D's daughter!! Today was my last day of 5Th grade! yay!!! At the end of the day, the results for voting for future predictions were in! Everyone was given three words that described them, and their classmates' predictions for the future! Now, can you guess what they said?

1. What three words (accumulative)do you think that classmates used to describe me?
A. funny, trustworthy, understanding
B. creative, smart, healthy
C. shy, kind, respectful
D. generous, energetic, flexible
E. playful, kind, silly

2. What do you think I was voted most likely to be?
A. author
B. doctor
C. singer
D. actress
E. talk show host

If you think you know the answers (based on what my dad has told you about me or if you know me) guess! the first person to get both right will be acknowledged in a future blog! or if no one gets it right, I will let you know!

**NOTE:  I had nothing to do with this one, but it's OK.  My own fault.  I had left the laptop on downstairs, logged-on to blogger, and went upstairs to take a nap.

Random Tuesday and 3/4

I just couldn't allow the clock to strike midnight before getting my next post written. I swear sometimes I get into one of those ruts that serve not only as a barrier to writing, but keep me far away from the blogosphere all together. This would be analogous to skipping missing a college course for a couple weeks and then desperately playing catch-up.

I do have an explanation for my time way. I was in Vegas baby! No, it wasn't for a weekend of all night Black Jack followed by drunken taxi rides to the nudie bar 5-cent video poker. I was with my family visiting my in-laws in nearby Henderson swimming in their new in ground swimming pool. The triplets and Bren Bren had a marvelous time, and we even celebrated Mom MD's 39th Birthday for the 3rd time.

Sunday's departure from the Vegas Zoo Airport was quite entertaining even for Sin City. The family had finally made it up to the check-in ticket counter when an agitated 20-something bimbo in like 10 inch stiletto heals whose "girls" were poised to make a most untriumphant appearance upset younger woman walked straight up to our ticket agent and began dropping the "f-bomb" like we were in a high school locker room using choice words to explain how the airlines had made a slight mistake affecting her immediate travel plans. All we adults could do was pray for security to take her down stare, but the triplets couldn't have cared a less, and all Bren could do was snicker.

Am I the only one who is disappointed in Facebook? Way too many gimmicks, quizzes, and adds. Who in the heck could have 200, 300 or 400+ friends? Maybe someone like Nancy Pelosi? Seriously, last time I checked I had about 125 and of those maybe 50 are a combination of relatives, close friends, high school/college classmates and former work colleagues...the remainder are friends of friends or friends of friends of friends. Yes, some of my friends are more Mom MD's friends say from med school or residency, but I knew them too. Mom MD actually "de-listed" someone from her Facebook account a couple weeks back. I'm way too chicken to do that.

Was anyone actually surprised by Adam Lambert's admission of his sexual orientation this week? Does anyone actually care? He is a fantastic singer/entertainer and I do predict that he will one day takeover lead singing duties for "Queen." Interesting!

Did I tell you that we now have season tickets to the worst team in the NBA? No, not the Clippers or even the Wizards. I'll give you a hint......the team name is somehow related to the word in quotations from the previous paragraph. Crazy isn't it, but like the stock market the goal is to buy low, sell high.

Triplet news......nothing much new, really. They still love to beat on each other, and they love to argue about who between the three of them will be a certain character in the TV show or movie that they are watching. For example, tonight I put on the lame human version of "Scooby Doo" so no freakin' surprise both girls wanted to be the lovely "Daphne." JuJu then proceeded to argue her point that Vivi should be "Velma" because she is "short and has glasses." Of course, lost to her is the fact that "Velma" is also the most intelligent and tends to solve the most mysteries.

Out

A few words on "Wordless Wednesday" - Happy 5th Birthday Triplets!

I so can't believe that you're now 5!

'Just yesterday you were 4 at the Sac Zoo.

One time you were 3 at the Train Museum.

3 years ago you 3 were 2 at our old house.

Oh boy, and girls. Mostly bald at 1!

My oh my, so tiny yet so ready to face the
world that late spring evening 3 June '04!

Happy Birthday A, J & V!!!

Love, R.E. Dad