Thursday, April 16, 2009

What to do with the 2nd Half of My Life, Part Duh

Oh what to do, what to do?  Reinventing Dad has a dilemma.  My boss from my most recent place of employment called me yesterday and mentioned that the new company she manages may have an underwriting position available and wondered perhaps if I'd be interested.

Those of you who have been following my blog since its inception on Sept 9, 2008 (thanks Mom) know that I founded this blog as a vehicle for self exploration.  I wanted to discover what makes me tick, my strengths and weaknesses, and plot a course for the rest of my life.   Would this include busting back into corporate America at first opportunity or remaining at-home with the lion's share of all things domestic?

I'll skip the pro/con list of working away from home vs. working at home (sorry Mom).  I know from experience  when trying to compare Option A vs. Option B, I usually have already made-up my mind and go through the motions of doing the list to further justify my choice.  I won't lie, I have a clear cut leader this time as well.

What I'm asking is what questions you would ask yourself if you were in my situation? Assume that you don't have to work (outside the home), but you wonder if you've ever given your career a fair shake.  You enjoy spending more time with your kids, but you miss the (face-to-face) adult interaction. You've always felt productive at work, but sometimes have difficulty being that "self-starter" at home.  Any thoughts, comments?

For additional background and incite, here is my very first entry.  If you're a friend/relative from Facebook, please send me an e-mail.  


Kat said...

As a Mom who has been at home for 5 years, I ask myself this everyday. However, in this tough economy I think it would be unwise to snub a job without a second look.

shrink on the couch said...

Questions I would ask: Who will do the grocery shopping, the laundry, pick up the dry cleaning, run all those errands, take the kids to the dentist, stay home when the kids are sick, watch the kids after school... the list goes on. My husb and I both work three-quarters time and still, most weeks, it translates into "too much to do, too little time."

So maybe the big question is, can you work less than a full time week? Can Dr. Mom cut back her hours and work less than full time?

Like you, I was not a self starter as a SAHM, I felt depressed and lonely, I really missed the adult interaction (play groups and all that mommy-talk was not exactly what I was craving). I felt like my brain was losing it's fine tuned edge and I missed the feeling of adult accomplishment I got from working.

So I know your dilemma. Good luck making a decision.

cw2smom said...

Wishing you well in what ever you decide! Blessings! Lisa

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

There's no one smarter than PhD in Yogurtry on topics like these.

I think you are facing the same dilemma millions of women face and that if you took the fact that you are a man out of it we know what the decision would likely be. As a SAHM seriously involved in volunteering I can tell you that your accounting skills would be seriously rejoiced over in any school or extracurricular activities your kids were involved in. For many years volunteering gave me the adult interaction I needed.

Good luck!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Since I'm a full time employee having share parenting duties with a daycare, I can't help you, but I have often wished to be on your side of the green grass. I wish you success in whichever decision you make, but it sounds like you've had some success in both fields. I do understand the motivation delay at home. In an office, you're typically under a time crunch. At home, you're crunching time. Good luck!

shrink on the couch said...

I think another question is, what do you MOST miss about not working. What attracts you most about working outside the home again? Writing a list of the pros and cons can be helpful -- with an added weighted rating scale (rate each item from 1 to 5, in terms of most or least desirable, then you keep a running tally of each column).

If you don't need the income, volunteering in the right situation could be a great choice, as Jenn says.

Me, besides what I already mentioned? I basically wanted to escape the isolation and the same feeling at the end of the day, "is this all there is?" as I watched my kids demolish a just-cleaned family room.

My personality is such that I need a lot of variation in my day. The repetitive tedium of housekeeping got me down. So another of my motivations was feeling justified in paying someone else to do it!

A Free Man said...

I think flexibility is key. I really like my work situation because I can work from home when I need to and work from an office when I need to. I sacrifice a little money to have the flexibility, but it's crucial for me to have time with my family.

As for your second commenter - things get done. My partner works full time, I work full time, but if you can convince your boss to be flexible, then you'l find the time to do what needs to be done.

The Stiletto Mom said...

My husband is a SAHD. We can afford it, I travel a lot, and it's really gotten to the point that my job is so busy we have no other choice.

It's tough for him not being in the working world. He misses the guys and the interaction. He loves being with our kids though so I guess it balances out for him.

Good luck, tough decision!