Friday, March 27, 2009

Things I don't understand....

As long as I've been alive and as smart and educated as I think I am, there are so many realities of home life and outside home life that are amazingly perplexing. Like the stereotypical dumb blond might exclaim "I don't get it?" It's almost as if the architect of our universe has a sense of humor or perhaps wanted to keep us challenged or honest. Maybe we weren't suppose to take life so seriously or maybe we don't take it serious enough. I doubt I'll ever know the answer, but here are some questions to ponder while we trudge through 2009, the Year of the Rat.

Oh, last year was the Year of the Rat?  Makes sense to me.

Retail -
  • Why is Wal-Mart is so dimly lit?  Come on, the largest U.S. retailer uses skylights and a few fluorescent bulbs.  Shoppers all look like zombies.....wait, maybe they are?
  • Borders moved the "sexuality" section to the front of the store (near the beginning of the checkout line).  So instead of "Sex for Dummies" being sandwiched somewhere between psychology and marriage/family, individuals waiting to purchase merchandise can snicker at the dude slouching like he's looking at dirty magazines.
  • Burger King charges $3.89 for the Whopper Jr. meal which is comprised of three items that you can order from the dollar menu.  So am I paying the additional $.89 for better service or is this a hidden camera "idiot" test?
Family - 
  • Kids fight over the cheapest crap like fast-food toys, crayons, old dress-up clothes and shoe boxes.  Adults fight over the most expensive items like who gets to drive the beamer, who controls the remote for the big screen TV and who gets to use the video or still cameras.
  • No matter what you do (or don't do) for a living, when you have kids your second job is that of a short order cook.  Even when you DO cook one meal for everyone in the family - say spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread,  you'll have special requests from each child.  I have one child who doesn't eat jelly, but loves candy.  I have another child who doesn't like french fries, but loves bread.  Another won't drink milk at home, but will at preschool.  Two actually love Mac & Cheese, but the other two can't stand it.
  • Spelling out words in front of preschoolers puts them on a faster track of learning their letters, words and puts them on a path to reading.  No one, not even a kid likes to be gossiped about especially while they're in the room!
  • Why does every conversation with four-year olds end with potty talk?  It's like we're constantly playing the "Six-degrees of poop" game.
I have so many others to follow........


shrink on the couch said...

Ooh, that short order cook business will drive a parent batty. Every child is special-food-needs. I can't even catch a break when I serve hot dogs -- oldest: mustard only; twin1: mustard and catsup; twin2: mayo.

Marissa said...

I love this! So clever, and oh-so-true!

Thanks so much for your comment on my blog. I loved hearing your experiences of being married to a med student. You've given me hope for just how happy and wonderful it can all turn out! :)

Unknown said...

* Why does every conversation with four-year olds end with potty talk? It's like we're constantly playing the "Six-degrees of poop" game.