Reinventing Dad

Wordless Wednesday - Some resemblance?

2010-05-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

What bugs me a whole hellava lot!

2010-05-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

Danger! Possible R.E. Dad rant coming.

OK, I thought I was over giving a crapola with regards to the beliefs and actions of acquaintances, neighbors, friends and even strangers. After all what individuals do with their own time and moola shouldn't concern me. Not my biz. Shoulder shrug. Whatever man. Go ahead, water your freakin' lawn in the rain. See if I care?!

I ain't perfect. Apparently, neither is my grammar. I've made lapses in judgement and done 'stuff' I would never tell your grandmothers (mine are both deceased), let alone my best friend. I believe it's in John 8 of the Bible that states "he who is without sin among you, let him toss the first stone.."

I've sinned and if I were Catholic, I'd probably have done a few hundred "hail marys" in my lifetime. My moral compass doesn't always point me in the right direction, but I'm making an effort. Seriously...believe me!

What's been bugging me a whole hellava lot lately? This whole B.S. about strategic foreclosures. You know when an individual can make his freakin' mortgage payment, but chooses not to. Just go belly up baby. Better yet dude or dudette, walk away you're just sticking it to the lender man who misled you in the first place.

I understand underwater mortgages. Trust me. I understand unforeseen circumstances beyond one's control (e.g. death, divorce) might necessitate default. Believe me.

Has America Lost Its Moral Compass? Honestly, I'd be embarrassed to tell someone that I intentionally defaulted on a loan that I could pay. I shook a hand. I signed a contract. No excuses. Rationalize it all you want. Seriously, I could rationalize that medicinal marijuana works well for helping my mood swings during male PMS.

As Mom MD might say "really? really!"

Happy Birthday Beautiful Brenna!

2010-05-14T12:20:00.001-07:00

Mom MD mentioned that part of my job as an at-home Dad was to blog . So I'll attempt to keep it going.

Today, however, I wanted to wish a Happy 12th Birthday to my wonderful bright and soon-to-be teenage daughter, Bren Bren.

Your family loves you lots...R.E. Dad.

P.S. The treadmill is coming very soon!!!!!!!

I'm still alive....

2010-05-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

I could say that my wife and I produced a baby during the vast nine months since my last post, but alas this is not the case.

Where have I gone? What am I doing? Why have I seemingly abandoned all that is the blogosphere?

Answers are simple, yet complicated. Simple as I'm still where I've always been, doing next to nothing productive or measurable in any quantitative way, but with two hands and eyes affixed to the latest all consuming social networking sites 24/7.

Complicated? Sure. Since I last worked for the man on August 23, 2007...my life has been a series of mid-life phases. Blogging from September 29, 2008 to October 4, 2009 arguably was one of those phases along with the Shall-I-Go-Right-Back-To Work Phase?, the Back Surgery and Rehab Phase, The Green Phase, The Ultra-Conservative Phase and The Facebook Phase. As a blogger, I've sought validation as a writer, a husband, a father and a human being.

After nearly three years, I'm no longer on the sidelines watching the game of corporate America unfold wishing to charge back onto the field at the first nod from my coach. I'm sitting on a bench far away from the action with my eyes looking up into the stands....

I'm not bitter. I'm not depressed. I'm not angry. I'm simply a stay-at-home parent who happens to be a man. I've volunteered in the classroom and for a few school events. Looking around the kids' school, I'm seeing many others like me (well most don't have a penis, but I can't hold that against them). They've accepted me. I'm not an outsider. I'm not a threat. I'm the dad.

More and more I hear "How fortunate are you to be able to be involved in your kids' lives?" So true. The triplets turn six in June. Brenna turns twelve in 10 days. Activities abound including T-Ball for Alec and Julia, dance for Vivian and Brenna, and piano for Brenna. Brenna recently finished her school play where she played "Mrs. Potts" in the Broadway Jr. version of "Beauty and the Beast."

Oh, and I guess that remark in the first paragraph isn't completely accurate. We do have a new baby. Her name is "Gigi" and she's a beautiful black standard poodle...doodle.

Yadda yadda

2009-10-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

So I've been on Facebook way too much recently attempting to craft cutesy retorts, post family pics from here to timbucktoo, and play junior detective and locate colleagues from six jobs ago. The social networking phenomenon continues. One can only wonder what life will be like ten years from now? Maybe we will be keeping tallying of new friends we meet outside the Internet as opposed to old friends we find on The Net. This would be significantly more challenging......... especially for R.E. Dad.

OK, I'm wondering why on all these American reality talent shows is the British judge the only one who can be honest and tell it like it really is? Is this why we have TWO British judges on "America's Got Talent?" Can't Americans be critical of other Americans? To me this is a slap in the face of ALL Americans to have the Brits critique our national talent shows. The U.S. population is 5x that of the U.K. Would you find American judges on British, Chinese or Australian talent shows? Heck NO, mate.

So did President Obama really believe that a last minute flight across the pond to plead his case for Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Olympics could sway the committee? I believe the Brazilian president had been campaigning, selling, pleading and begging the olympic committee to give Rio the nod for well over a year. Mr. President, please get back to more pressing issues like the economy or Iran.

Baseball playoffs are coming this week! I absolutely love this time of year. The cool crisp autumn air combined with the win or go home intensity being played out in eight major league cities is something to behold. In baseball and unlike the NBA, any team including a Wild Card can run the table and grab the glory. Go Cardinals!

Back to Facebook....has anyone ever been "de-friended?" I actually was and can't figure out why? I mean I have blocked a few people who wanted me to be their friend, but why why why did someone strike me off their list? Turns out after hours of analysis after realizing that my friend count had decreased, the person who de-friended me was someone I'd gone to high school with and knew for many years prior to this. Could it have been this blog, my political views, my cyber breath or was it an accident? I need to know. Yadda yadda. To be continued.....

Back from NYC, Letterman & stuff.

2009-10-02T13:41:00.001-07:00

I've been away so long that I almost forgot my password to re-enter the blogosphere. Fortunately after a few tries I got it right. So where have I been the past 3 weeks? Well, last week I was in New York City doing everything tourist. I had been to NYC a couple times, but never for more than a few days.

We visited The MET, MoMA, The Guggenheim, and the American Museum of Natural History. Such incredible museums full of priceless collections! We were absolutely overwhelmed, but beyond thrilled and honored to have the opportunity to tour such American treasures.

We attended the Broadway musicals 'Billy Elliot' and 'Chicago.' Both were brilliant. Live shows on Broadway with the best of the best acting, dancing, singing, directing, choreography, acoustics, etc. in an intimate setting have no comparison in the world of entertainment. It is truly the major leagues without cavernous stadiums, expensive cheap beer and blaring music.

Speaking of MLB, we saw the Yanks vs. the BoSox at the new Yankee Stadium. Definitely, not the "House that Ruth Built".... but a beautiful sports stadium none-the-less. Unlike the new Cowboys Stadium the jumbo tron or whatever you call it wasn't located in the middle of the field, but was incredible to watch.

So, now back home to my reality. Mom MD is back to work, the triplets are in Kindergarten, and Brenna is trucking through 6Th Grade. Unfortunately, the bratty girl from last year is in her class this year and is still up to her 'old tricks', but we're addressing the issue with her teacher and hopefully can get her to leave Bren alone once and for all!

So what's this extortion attempt towards David Letterman? Even though I contend that this is the type of distraction that tends to turn Americans away from the really important issues of the day, I think it's fascinating. I can't believe that Letterman broached the whole enchilada in front of his studio audience, who by the way thought the story would be funny!!!

While in New York last week, Mom MD and I attended a Letterman taping. As a member of the audience you are instructed to laugh and applaud each and every joke (whether you understand what the heck was just said or not). Any other type of sound is frowned upon big time. After watching last night and knowing what I know about audience participation and expectations, the confession in which Letterman interjected humor felt beyond awkward and would have been very uncomfortable for the audience especially after they had been drawn in to laugh at everything Letterman says.......that's all I have to say 'bout that.

9/11/01 Before and After

2009-09-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2001 forever changed America. Even though dozens of acts of terrorism had been occurring over and over throughout the globe for many years, Americans collectively chose to keep our fat heads buried in the sand. Those same shining towers in Lower Manhattan were bombed in 1993. No big deal, right? After all, the north tower didn't collapse and fall into the south towers as planned and only six souls perished with just around 1000 injuries....

Give me a break. This along with scores of other events should have been our wake-up call. Instead, we chose to worry about the destruction of our computers at the dawn of Y2K and felt compelled to know how much action President Clinton really did get while working OT in the oval office?

I probably was as guilty as anyone. Back in 2001, a much smaller R.E. Dad family lived in West Hartford, CT patiently waiting for Mom MD to complete her residency. If you aren't familiar with one of the most beautiful towns in these United States, West Hartford lies in the central section of Connecticut about 125 miles from Manhattan.

That horrific day, I remember grabbing my daily cup of joe and salt bagel from Brueggers Bagels at the town centre, and driving a couple miles south on Main Street to reach my office in time for work at about 8:30. I still recall remarking to the lady who sat in the adjacent cubicle at how gorgeous it was that morning. A bright sunny sky combined with a cool breeze gave me the incredibly comforting feeling that it was simply a fantastic time to be alive. I remember logging into my computer, eating my breakfast, opening up my first file, and then...............

A female co-worker runs by and says a plane has run into the World Trade Center. My first thought was that it must have been a small plane like the one that recently collided with a helicopter in NYC over the Hudson River. An accident, right? We quickly locate and turn on our training TV.

Oh my God, live on a grainy old TV we see a commercial plane run smack into the other tower. No pilot error. This is an act of terrorism. Who and why? Pre-9/11, I honestly believed everyone on Earth loved the United States...the only remaining superpower. After all, we provide food, medicine and military support to anyone anytime with no questions asked..at least so I thought.

The days that immediately followed were gut wrenching....so much carnage. Friends and relatives frantically searched for their loved ones. Videotape of the plane flying into the tower, the gaping hole in the Pentagon, and the collapsing of the once mighty giants ran 24/7. We couldn't stop thinking of the terror that those innocent souls who were flying on the four hijacked planes must have felt. We felt sorrow, but our mourning turned to anger. We wanted revenge.

We had been violently shoved off the top of the mountain. We weren't invincible. We couldn't just ignore the rest of the planet. This was the new reality. Fast forward to 9/11/09.

We as Americans can NOT return to Pre-9/11. Please do not let this happen. Too much has been sacrificed. Too many of our fellow citizens including New York's Bravest and Finest were lost that day. Our military continues to fight overseas in harms way for our freedom. Please remember this day and take nothing for granted. We are the best country in the world. Don't forget, don't ever forget! I promise I won't.

Latest info

2009-09-10T14:01:00.001-07:00

Forgive me Father since it has been at least two weeks since my last post. A confession might be appropriate in this circumstance I suppose, if I was Catholic and if anyone truly cared. Well, I'm not Catholic, and based on my page imprints and significant increase in followers in the past few months (NOT!), I'm thinking the latter is a true statement as well.

I just don't have a shtick that causes a stampede back to my blog hour after hour, day after day. To become a super blogger, you have to have some kind of hook. I'm not a fantastic writer. I don't tell funny jokes. I'm not interested in biking. I'm not female. I'm not an academic. I don't live anywhere special.

Yes, I do have triplets and am an at-home dad, but with the proliferation of fertility drugs and the massive rise in unemployment especially among American men, this just isn't news anymore. I could dive into the debate as to whether Lady Gaga is really a man or perhaps even a hermaphrodite. Maybe I could open up a forum on universal healthcare, family budgeting or the problem with today's youth? Would you like to hear my opinions? It's like I know a little about a lot of topics, but not enough to stir a thoughtful debate.

I could revisit the career that I gave up on way too early. One that I never took too seriously. One that I was pretty damn good at doing. One that is now a distant memory.....

So this is where I am today. The kids have been in school almost three weeks. Mom MD and I are going to NYC for a week very soon, but I'm fearful of that H1N1 flu that seems to be heading in our direction. I'm tired of both the democrats and the republicans.

Actually, life is pretty darn good. I can't complain or maybe I just did. Sorry, the next post will be more upbeat.

First Day of School and stuff

2009-08-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, Mom MD was not all too happy about my previous post where I mentioned that smokers can be sexy. Bad R.E. Dad! In fact to all you kids who may stumble upon this blog, please recite this message 100x "According to the Surgeon General, smoking is bad, very very bad and I'm not going to even start 'cause cancer sticks contain yucky stuff that could make my lungs look like LA in the 70's and retard my brain making me less likely to attend a mid-level university, marry a supermodel, and have a rewarding career...besides a pack of smokes cost like $8 in NYC."

Oh, and I wanted to add one additional 'Honest Scrap' - I wish that I had the ability to project five seconds into the future because I'd love to know if the person that I'm considering holding a door for intends to say "Thank You." If not, I'd have no problem letting the door go slam bam into their face.

So anyway, today was the triplets first day of Kindergarten, and the beginning of Bren's last year of elementary school. We took pictures and I've including a couple above. What was very cute was how the Kindergarten teachers came out and handed each parent a short note attached to a plastic baggie containing a tea bag and a cotton ball. The note read...

Dear Parent:

Thank you for entrusting your child to us. We promise to do our best every day to be your child's companion in learning.

After you have wiped your tears, make yourself a nice warm cup of tea. Put your feet up and relax. Then hold the cotton ball in your hand. The softness will help you recall the gentle spirit of your child. We will work alongside you this year to help your child grow.

Very sweet gesture. No tears were shed by our family, however, until I brought the note home and my Mom (the retired K teacher) read it. Here's hoping that the kids have a fantastic school year. I'm looking so forward to hearing about their first day of 2009/2010.

Honest Scrap!

2009-08-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Jess tagged me like forever ago to complete the Honest Scrap which of course I neglected to do, and now I have to live with the fact that I totally missed the boat (i.e. the award ceremonies).

Let's take a stab at this....

1. I've had more pedicures than I've golfed. Metrosexual debate aside...you tell me - which sounds more relaxing?

2. I was known to sing "Big Balls" by AC/DC on occasion at our college parties.

3. Half my brain believes a smoking woman is super sexy, the other half knows that it also causes cancer, emphysema, yellow teeth, wrinkles and bad breath.

4. I'm convinced that more Netflix "Chick Flicks" ended up being scratched and unplayable then the typical testosterone enhanced drama. I can appreciate a woman who not only can hold her liquor, but a DVD as well.

5. I still haven't been able to convince my Mom that I was a fat kid (as a significantly higher percentage of kids are fat these days, I was ahead of my time, I suppose).

6. Diets are much less complicated than most people realize. You simply burn more calories than you consume.

7. I'm definitely not for more governmental regulations, but I believe that lowering the drinking age to 16 and increasing driving age to 21 would significantly reduce auto accidents. Just beware of drunk teens on bikes.

8. Sean Connery was my favorite James Bond. Although "The Spy Who Loved Me" with Roger Moore was my favorite James Bond movie.

9. Speaking of a former bonds, Pierce Brosnan in "Mamma Mia" was by far the worst singer that I've ever seen in a movie.

10. The only pet I've had in the past eight years is a hermit crab, but keep in mind I have triplets!

This was kind of fun.......

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Late on a Tuesday Afternoon

2009-08-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

Time for yet another installment of R.T.T., yeah you know me! (my apologies, old very inside joke). I'm a tad punchy today and I can't say why?

Anyway, what's with the United States Postal Service? Back in the not-so-distant past in a previous career, I was the first to refute any claim that a lost or delayed letter was clearly a postal error. As my Mom might say "they're all messed up!" Why do I say this? Consider that both my Mom and I put a stop on delivery while on vacation a few weeks back. When we returned, both of us had other people's packages (O.P.P) and mail delivered to us. Wouldn't you be concerned that maybe, just maybe your mail could end up someone else's box? I am. This is beside the fact that for a few years I've received mail for my deceased father, and a Madeline with the same last name spelled differently who actually purchased my Mom's house nine years ago!

Why do my neighbors break the CC&R's? Call me crazy, but some prospective buyers specifically search for homes in subdivisions where homeowners do not allow their friends and relatives to park their R.V.'s on the street in front of their homes. We were such buyers. We don't appreciate having boats, business trucks and tow trailers on the street or the driveways for that matter........it's against da rules. I do not have a problem with grown-up toys, but please go live on a street that people aren't concerned about it or move further out onto some acreage.

I'll have to admit that Disneyland might be the "Happiest Place on Earth" after all. Seriously, when the family went a few weeks back, we had an absolute blast. The five-year olds walked the entire day and went on (almost) every ride we threw them on. No fear, no crying except after the Indiana Jones ride when Vivi said kind of a matter of factly "Daddy, that was scary...let's not go on that ride again." Lines were long, temps were high and the wallet took a major hit, but all in all, I'd say given the smiles and excitement totally worth it.

I can't believe how quickly the summer has vanished. School begins for our sixth grader and three Kindergartners a week from today. This will be the only year that all our kids will be attending the same school. Like most parents, I've tried very hard to make this final summer week as boring as possible especially for Bren the sixth grader so she can get into that scholastic frame of mind. The triplets will actually be split up with Alec and Vivi going into one class and little miss go-getter JuJu going into the other. JuJu and Alec have no fear, but Vivi might need a slight push come the first day of school. To be continued.......

Pet Store Antics #1: I really don't hate birds.

2009-08-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in an previous post that I worked for a pet store for a couple years during college. Until the past year or so I had almost completely forgotten ~~painful hamster bites, overpriced mutts and the stench of aquarium water changes~~ those warm cuddly creatures. Recent family excursions to ~~the poor man's zoo~~ our local pet stores have stirred memories filled with long hours of ~~snagging five cent feeder fish with a freakin' holey net~~customer service with a perpetual smile.

OK, the kids want a living breathing animal and I'm trying desperately to delay the inevitable as it's common knowledge around here that ~~R.E. Dad will feed, bathe, and pickup the shit~~ I will be the primary caregiver. Yeah, the hermit crab has it's limits....

Enough about the present. Let's fall back into the late 80's before the big-box retailers had a strangle hold on America. I worked for a mom and pop company...we'll actually no mom just pop due to a recent divorce. This ~~fairly young hipster dufus with zero knowledge of pet care~~ budding entrepreneur actually owned two stores and I often found myself at the smaller store closer to campus. Now, there was a "GM" who was actually quite "petwise", but after the owner gave him a truck he seemed to spend most of his time driving to the big city to retrieve tropical fish and ~~marijuana~~ supplies.

Almost overnight I became the ~~king of the dipshits~~ unofficial assistant manager who still made about a nickel about the minimum wage. Don't get me wrong, I was NO animal expert in any sense of the imagination. In fact, I pretty much deferred questions to my fellow oppressed pet store co-workers who each seemed to specialize in a certain type of animal. Let's talk about "Bird Girl."

Bird Girl - She loved all types of birds. She hand fed birds. She trained birds. She called me at home from the store to tell me about depressed birds, lonely birds and birds under the weather. One summer evening she called to tell me about a very sick bird that had to be euthanized. I said ~~OK, I'll snap his little neck in the morning~~ okie dokie, tomorrow I'll shove him out the back door and hope he survives the mean streets of Chico. She said "Oh, no - you must come right now and take care of him the most humane way possible...he's in a great deal of pain."

"Uh, come again...how do you waste a bird?" *Disclaimer to all those who know this subject better than I.........this was what she told me to do......she was the bird expert, not me. Don't contact some bird rescue society, please*

So how did I do it? Well, she said to place the bird in a plastic bag, walk out to my car, turn on the engine and place the bag over the tailpipe. So I did .... and it worked ~~bye bye birdy~~. Long before Jack Kevorkian became a household name, there existed a pet store employee who hoped he ended a bird's life the most humane way possible. At the very least, he earned the respect of "Bird Girl."

This was Pet Store Antics #1.............just one story of many.

Dear So and So....Numero Tres

2009-08-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

I know that you just couldn't wait any longer. It's time for another installment of "Dear So and So." Perhaps I'll start a mini "So and So" marathon.

Dear Ju Ju,

I know you believe that those red bumps on mommy's and daddy's faces are mosquito bites. Often times that is the case, but once in awhile our faces and those of teens and adults around the globe break out causing pangs of stress, anger, bitterness, and shame. When your first pimple arrives one day in the distant future understand that we've all been there. Dermatologists don't recommend that you "put the squeeze on the zit" so to speak. This may leave permanent scars on your face.

My advice, don't listen to the doctors. The ONLY good thing about having a zit is running into the bathroom, peering into the mirror, zeroing in on the bugger and squeezing it into oblivion! Crap I probably said too much. You're only five. Hope I didn't traumatize you.

Love,

R.E. Dad

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Dear Honda Corporation,

The sticker mentioned that my '09 Pilot would probably get 22 MPG's on the highway and 16 MPG's. I realize that this is JUST an estimate, but if I drive exclusively in the city I get about 12 MPG's. That isn't too good or even close to 16 MPG's. Back when I spoke with your salesman, he liked to discuss the engine's ability to switch to three cylinders to enhance fuel efficiency, etc. I just want you to know that I'm now feeling disappointed and a bit mislead.

Perhaps you should mention that the 22/16 figure applies only when the vehicle is on cruise control and set at 50 miles per hour or coasting down a hill for the entire tank of gas. Maybe, you should add another category to highway/city.....the suburb which would include an even lower figure to account for frequent stops at school, gunning it around town to complete errands and idling in the drive thru.

Just a suggestion,

R.E. Dad

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Dear President Obama,

You're not fooling anyone with your Universal Health care ideas. Why don't you fix social security, medicaid and medicare before even considering embarking on this endeavour?

R.E. Dad

Tripletisms 8/10/09

2009-08-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

I was just playing my new favorite game on Facebook. Nope, I'm not talking about Mafia Wars or Texas Hold 'Em. I'm referring to the "Friend Suggestion" area. After a while those 'friend' suggestions really get out of hand, so I like to see how quickly I can "x" out of them before more 'suggestions' are made by FB. Think Robert Hays' character in the 1980 movie "Airplane!" during that one scene at the airport where he ends up beating up flower children, Hare Krisnas, and anyone else who stood in his way. Why would I want to be a friend of a friend's sorority sister or a fan of the Boston Celtics?

That's right. I was going to list a couple "tripletisms." by my soon-to-be Kindergartners...

*Walking around Balboa Island last week (doggie poopy on the sidewalk)*

Julia - "Ah, don't step in the dog poop!"
Alec - "Gross"
Vivi -"Super Gross"

*Yesterday morning on the patio (I'm explaining to my Mom about Julia's Nightmare)

R.E. Dad - "She woke up crying and totally out of it"
Grandma J. - "Nightmare?"
R.E. Dad - "I'm thinking so, but she was totally delirious....she finally said "I shouldn't have poured all that water." "Whatever that means...????"
Alec - (in his deep voice with a slight lisp due to a chipped front tooth) "What's a nightmare?"
R.E. Dad - "It's a bad dream where you wake up scared and feel bad"
Alec "Oh yeah...I had one of those last night...I see a robot in the park and he shoots me dead"
R.E. Dad/Grandma J. - "OHHHH"
Alec - "That's my nightmare!"

*This A.M. at Pre-school* (Vivi comes over to give me a hug good-bye)

Vivi - "Dad you smell like a fart!"
R.E. Dad - Vivi, I don't think I ever will smell good enough for you!!!
Vivi - "Uh huh"

Gotta go and pick up Bren from the airport. She's returning from a week in Vegas Baby! (at her Grandma M's place)...

Miscellaneous Bologna!

2009-08-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

How does this happen? My blog is currently the #1 hit on Google for the quote "I've been living a lie and it's time to come clean." I'm not making this up. For me, the post from which I made this lighthearted admission was meant to be comical, but for many individuals who search the Internet this quote represents a confession. These souls are dealing with emotional pain and turmoil and seek to finally alleviate their pain, suffering and guilt. As my Grandma Edna used to say "the truth will set you free..."

In case you're wondering....this isn't a lead in to a R.E. Dad confession! ~~Heck no, any lapse in judgement leading to an incident of questionable morality or possible illegal activity will be taken to my grave, thank you!~~ I have nothing to say. I didn't bring this up to talk about myself anyway. Just an observation. OK?

Speaking of quotes, I never realized how often Mom MD and I actually quoted lines from the late John Hughes' movies. Recently, we were stuck on that scene from "Sixteen Candles" when the handsome Jake knocks on the Bakers' front door..........

Long Duk Dong: [opens door] Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you my new - new-style American girlfriend.
Jake: Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right?
Long Duk Dong: She not here.
Jake: Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she?
Long Duk Dong: She got married.
Jake: What?
Long Duk Dong: She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married.
Jake: Married?
Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married [closes door]
Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married?
Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez!

Love me the (character) Long Duk Dong. He wouldn't be "PC" in 2009, but in 1984....it was ALL good and the Earth still rotated on its axis, the birds still sang at the break of dawn, and John Hughes was creating teen movies that defined my generation. Rest in Peace Mr. Hughes. Without your vision, the only teen movies we'd be remembering from the 80's would be those Porky's movies.........Yikes!

Speaking of R.I.P, I wanted to give a shout out to my late Dad. Happy If-you-were-still-alive 75th Birthday! Brenna loves to practice on your Steinway! You'd be so proud of her like Mom MD, Grandma and I are.

Have a fantastic weekend everyone..........

Dear So and So....Numero Dos

2009-08-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain

Oh, how I've missed the blogosphere the past couple weeks. No, I haven't died or worse found outside-the-house employment. The family recently returned from a week at the beach down in So. Cal. My Mom decided many moons ago that a vacation down on the tiny resort island named Balboa near Newport Beach would represent an excellent family escape from the ordinary. So she sprung for a place and the rest they say is history, but might I add our family's trip....was extraordinary!

Now back to the "Dear So and So" created and inspired by Kat who has chosen Fridays as her day to correspond to the various "so and so's" in her neck of the woods across the pond.

Dear owner of the Shell gas station in remote area off Interstate 5,

We realize times are difficult and the other two gas stations at this exit have closed, but pony up the $1,500 to fix the compressor on the A/C. The young man Mom MD spoke with works 10+ hour days/6 days per week during the hottest times of the day. Customers come and go quickly and it isn't too much of an inconvenience to use the hand dryer instead of paper towels in the bathroom, but this guy is minding the store ALL day. Please give him a break not to mention a decent health care plan.

R.E. Dad and Mom MD

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Dear TSA at Orange County Airport,

I know you were only doing your "duty", but you absolutely broke my five-year old son's heart when you confiscated his brand new snow globe after searching his tiny backpack. Alec probably spent twenty minutes looking for the perfect souvenir to bring home from Disneyland. Yes, I suppose the liquid volume was slightly above 3 oz, but I highly doubt a sealed globe with pirate treasure and floating gold flakes posed any threat to national security. Rules are rules I suppose, but I'm thankful I wasn't there or I'd probably be writing this from jail.

R.E. Dad

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Dear Three Sisters who bought Mom's house,

My Mom might be one of a few surviving members from the generation that values honesty and integrity above all else....when issues were either black and white..... who understood the significance of eye contact, a verbal agreement and a firm handshake.....a generation that might include the oldest baby-boomers up to the youngest from the "greatest" generation.

Even though you're old, I refuse to include you. You didn't treat my Mom the way she deserved or expected to be treated. In fact, she probably let her guard down BECAUSE she thought you three were just like her. Mom was mistaken.

What am I talking about? Oh yeah, I'm referring to the $4000 credit she "gifted" you for the phantom repairs that weren't necessary. Remember how you said the roof needed replacing and the heating and air conditioning needed to be repaired? Wrong cupcakes! The roof dude actually said the roof had three plus years of life remaining and my Mom FIXED the A/C three days before she moved out despite you having a Home Warranty in place. Did your agent even mention this to you? Did she ask nicely if the $500 repair to the A/C could come off the $4000 "credit for nothing?"

This was the same agent who FORGOT to check the requirement for Section 1 repairs and begged our agent to not tell you (to save face). Back to the $4K...turns out this money went directly to your contractor via escrow to help defray the cost to YOU for a new kitchen. By the way, thanks for rubbing that in my Mom's face as well. I have to say that it was very difficult for Mom to "sign and approve" a contractor's bid that had NOTHING to do any repairs knowing that her money went directly to your remodel.

Hope you don't burn yourself on your new stove

R.E. Dad

---------------

**For my readers.....sorry about the r & r, but my Mom wouldn't let me send a "real" letter to the sisters or their awful agent.**

For every positive event, there's an equally negative event......

2009-07-24T15:55:00.001-07:00

Honestly, I'm having one of those weeks where so many positive, uplifting, and gratifying events are followed immediately by equally negative events.... complete downers that quickly turn my smile into a frown. Knowing that life often seems like a random sequence of events, I'm guessing over the course of one's lifetime...the pluses and minuses balance each other out like debits and credits on an accurately completed accounting statement.

What is so bizarre is how short lived my celebrations seem to be. Almost like "Yes I WON the lottery" to just a nanosecond later stepping off a cliff and plunging to my death on the jagged rocks below. OK, that's a bit extreme, but seriously....it has been a bizarre week of nice ups and quick downs.

Today was the last straw. I was waiting to get a haircut at Supercuts (don't ask) when I read that my beloved Cardinals just traded for Matt Holliday, a three-time All Star who will hopefully take them over the hump and lead them back into the playoffs. Ecstasy for the sportsboy, right? Yes, but just a few minutes later I'm sitting getting my haircut, and for the first time in umpteen years, a stylist tells me that I have dandruff! NO freakin' way I say. More on this later.

Now, earlier this week I was leaving Bren's and Vivi's eye doctor in midtown. I had just talked the parking attendant into reducing my parking fee from $2 to $1 because in all seriousness we were there from 2:42 to 3:44, and parking was $1/hour. I was like "it took me those two extra minutes just to find the exit out of this bloody lot." Completely satisfied and wondering whether to invest or save that extra dollar I turned from the lot onto the street and a crazy lady flagged me down.

She had to be a 'tweaking' meth or some type of drug addict. After slamming on the brakes and reluctantly rolling down my window she asked me to either watch her kids or give her some money because her car was broken down and she needed to take the bus. She was probably 35, but looked 45, filthy as all heck and had a hospital bracelet which was crumpled, partly torn and dirty. I didn't see any kidlets nor did I see a broken down car. This was a tough decision, but without being witness to any event, after reading "Beautiful Boy" and with my two young girls in the car I decided that I had to leave. I said no, rolled up my window and hit the gas. Safety was the most important consideration in making my decision, but I still felt guilty.

My final incident was a bit less serious, but more physically painful. Vivi asked if we could go to the pet store on our way home. I really really didn't want to go as I needed to come home and ~~do Facebook or blog~~ fold laundry. I'm like "how 'bout a piece of gum instead?" She said "yes." I said "YES!" Of course, while celebrating a victory over a five-year old I reached for the gum, and sliced my thumb on the side of the gum package........paper cut, paper cut!

In conclusion, I'm NOT going to jump for joy for awhile. I won't even smile or present a hint of a smirk. No way. I'll put on my poker face until this positive vs. negative, plus vs. minus, or whatever you choose to call it goes away.....

As for me, right now I'm going to hit the shower scrub my scalp and start using the expensive "product" that everyone else in this house uses...I'm going wean myself off the Kirkland brand for good!!!!

Guess What I Am?

2009-07-23T06:54:00.001-07:00

Let's play a quick game. I'll give you three words to describe a brand or name of something. You tell me what I'm talking about.

Plastic
Unscented
Super

HMMMMM, tough one?

**Update: K and J, you are absolutely correct. Aunt JB, you were certainly on the right track. BC, you're silly 'cause silly p is not made out of plastic...at least it wouldn't make sense if it was??

Since I've become House Beotch and have had to run 'that' errand on occasion I've never seemed to get it right....I've brought home cardboard when plastic was requested...scented when unscented was asked for....and finally regular instead of super. This is more difficult than finding irrigation system replacement parts at the Home Depot or a very specific rare ethnic ingredient at Safeway...

Alas, after her ~~slamming my head against the wall~~ helpful words of encouragement, I've finally found an E-A-S-Y way to remember...I just go by the first letters of the three words listed above. They certainly point me in the right direction... I'll never forget again. Thanks for playing along.

Let's mix it up a bit - a controversial topic.

2009-07-21T15:27:00.000-07:00

Debate over California's Prop 8 which amended the California constitution to define marriage between a man and a woman continues to rage and thus polarize citizens of the "Golden State." The Sacramento Bee had an article this A.M. about a proposed bill that would recognize gay marriages from other states.

As some of you know, I lean to the right both fiscally and socially. I don't believe one can be fiscally conservative, but socially moderate. I also realize that it isn't chic to champion conservatism, but I decided to comment anyway.........

"Doesn't tolerance and acceptance of gay marriage fall into the belief of Federalism? Beneath federal laws (enumerated powers) each state comprised of various groups of people has the authority to determine the will of the majority based on beliefs, values, etc. Therefore, if you're offended by smoking, don't live in North Carolina. If you hate paying more taxes live in Nevada, Florida, New Hampshire, etc. If you are repulsed by the death penalty, don't live in Texas. If you hate farmers don't live in North Dakota. If you love to drive fast live in Montana.

My point? You have a choice to live in ANY state that you choose keeping in mind that every state is unique, has different customs, demographics, and laws. Just like I wouldn't go to Alaska and ask fisherman to stop fishing or move to Nevada and expect the gaming industry to end gaming...I wouldn't move from Massachussetts to California and expect Californians to change what the majority BELIEVES IN and that is marriage between a woman and a man."

Give me the "Dumbing it Down" version

2009-07-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for some yummy tuna casserole or as we tell the triplets....noodles with stuff in them?

I recently found myself in the kitchen, alone and staring down at what I believed was the simplest cooking recipe known to any man, woman or preschooler for that matter. Oh no, actually I'm quite wrong about this. I became aware last evening that I'm too dumb to even decipher the easiest of the easy Internet tuna recipes from Cooks.com.

Last night while I was in the process of boiling my elbow noodles for the above recipe (which by the way I've learned to "doctor up" with onions, cheese and a bad of potato chips), Mom MD walked by the stove, peered into the pot and asked how many cups of noodles I had used? My reply was "three, as that is how many it says on the recipe!" Here's how the simple recipe reads:

3 cups noodles, cooked

Mom MD's reply was "no, that's not right." I then said "Huh, what do you mean? Says right HERE, 3 cups noodles, cooked.....I put 3 cups of noodles in and I'm cooking them." She then said that this is not what it means and she can see why a man wouldn't understand this.....What ~~the freakin' hell~~ exactly am I missing here?

OK, I've read articles in recent years about the necessity by Betty Crocker and Co. to "dumb down" their cookbooks to reach new generations of culinary challenged individuals. Again, how am I getting this wrong? This was a SIX ingredient recipe from the Internet for pity sake. Mom MD then proceeded to explain what the directions really meant.

The cooked noodles should equal 3 cups. So how in the heck am I supposed to know how many noodles to put in the pot in the first place? We all understand that raw noodles expand when cooked, so how many dry cups of noodles yields 3 cups of cooked noodles? IF I put in three cups to begin with then I'll be wasting plenty of noodles when it's time to combine the ingredients. Am I lame here or what? I'm starting to think so............

Perhaps the answer to my puzzle is how the directions are worded? 3 cups of noodles, cooked....3 CUPS of noodles, cooked...3 cups of NOODLES, cooked..3 cups of noodles, COOKED.

OK, I think I understand. The recipe wants 3 cups of cooked noodles. So why doesn't it say this in the first place? Why doesn't it tell me how many cups of raw noodles to put in to yield 3 cups of cooked noodles?

The more I think about this...the more I think there is some kind of gender bias working against me. We men (especially those challenged in the kitchen) want to know how much to put in the pot in the first place to have enough noodles to complete the recipe. Is it 2 cups to make 3? How about 1.75 cups to make 3? We prefer exact numbers and appreciate precision. Just tell us. Forget the guessing and the eye balling. Just tell us (& me), please!

I suppose I can take comfort that I was only making a tuna casserole and not building a rocket or something..........

Silly Haiku Wednesdays

2009-07-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

Hot steamy Roseville

Maybe I will stay inside

Nah, Sunsplash is close

Let's here it for Jen @ You Know that Blog who has more Haiku creations.

Summer of '89

2009-07-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

Summer has always served as my season for reflection. Perhaps this is because I often find myself living vicariously through my children while they swim, attend camps, play outdoor games, eat popsicles, and otherwise enjoy anything and everything that kidlets do during those steamy months.

As Mom MD and I discuss on a regular basis, kids' carefree summers from the 70's are worlds away from the carefully planned summers of today. OK, admittedly it was a different world with no bike helmets, MP3 players or Wave boards, but it was our time, my time..a simpler time full or great memories.

But I actually wanted to look back on ONE of my favorite summers as an adult.

Summer of '89 - In Chico between my 3rd and 4th year of college.

Talk about hot, steamy and still. Chico summers remind me of the Midwest without quite as many mosquitoes. College guys are notoriously cheap when it comes to modern comforts like central air conditioner. We preferred to spend our extra $6 on a twelve pack of Coors and why not, when you're buzzed who the heck cares about dripping with sweat? I mean we had an apartment pool, showers, fans, and of course the river.

Tubing down the Sacramento River back in the day felt like heaven on Earth. Sun, women, beer, sun, and more sun, beer and women! OK, so the women didn't always want to go with us, many actually went to summer school or held down jobs, but the beer and sun never turned us down. After a few hours of drifting down the Sac with beers consumed, and bodies baked, we'd jump into the backs of the trucks, laying on the tubes to keep them from flying away. No cops within miles, fewer rules and no cell phones to disturb our buzz.

If you're wondering I did hold down a part-time job working for a local pet store. I suppose you could have called me ~~the king of the dipshits~~ the unofficial assistant to the assistant manager. Tales, not "tails" from the pet store are reserved for a future day. Summer music rotated between Tom Petty's "Full Moon Fever" and The Cult's "Sonic Temple." All bars were within walking distance. I had a girlfriend. I had a roommate who worked for a liquor store. I had few responsibilities. It was our time, my time, a simpler time full of great memories.

Fast forward twenty years to reality, it's now my time to check the laundry. I will do about five loads today along with the grocery shopping, the soccer daddy duties, and the preparation of this evening's family supper. Maybe, though, I'll take a few extra minutes and head to the garage and reach way behind all the rubber target tubs to that Huggies size six box that contains most of my old CD's. Perhaps I can steal a few more moments with tracks from good old Summer of '89.

Tell me your best summer memory............

Random Tuesday thoughts on Saturday: Why not, it's almost Tuesday again!

2009-07-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

Here we go again. Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts, this time on Saturday as I'm a day late and a dollar short. Check that, I'm four days late or three days early (take your pick) and god knows how many dollars short.

Well, this Thursday R.E. Dad shaved which has become an increasingly rare event since I left the labor force almost two years ago. Heck, who am I kidding? I hardly ever shaved for the benefit of my fellow office mates either. Just ask them. After a few weeks, however, I just couldn't stand that tingly feeling of my whiskers swaying like prairie grass in a meadow (felt like dozens of bugs crawling on my mug).

Funny, I used to think that when I shaved I looked years younger like I'd be carded trying to get into a rated "R" movie. But what about now? Not so much. I see the beginnings of a "Turkey Neck". I remember that my Mom used to give my Dad ~~shit~~ a hard time about the loose skin below his chin. I don't believe he liked the idea of having a ~~big ass~~ wattle either!

Speaking of family...Mom MD and I have a couple of ongoing debates. I'm curious what you think. The first one is unwrapping presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? The second has to do with kissing on the lips. Nope, I'm not talking about your spouse. I'm talking about kissing everyone else on the lips like your kids, your mom, your step dad and your grandma.

Speaking of kids....a tripletism. The triplets have been taking swimming lessons through the city parks and recs the past couple weeks, but missed a couple days due to ~~a pooping brat~~ some kind of chemical imbalance at a local high school pool. The city added a make-up day to be held on Thursday at another high school. The night before the trips were to attend their make-up session, five-year old Alec asked me what the boys would be doing at tomorrow's swimming lesson. I said "I don't know what do you mean? Probably, the same thing as the girls....why?" He said "Well, the girls will be doing make-up!"

Yeah, different type of make-up Mr. Man. Again I don't make this stuff up.

I wanted to go into some other stuff like what a difference between telling a new relationship with whom you will soon be cohabiting that you'll be moving in with extra baggage vs. additional luggage. This is a potential life altering event. How do people learning English as a second language survive?

So much more, but gotta go for now.....hope everyone is enjoying their weekend...

Hello

2009-07-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's R.D's daughter again! Since I haven't been able to get into my own blog lately, I wanted to post something. Now, it's time for a R.D. pop quiz!! I will ask you a few multiple choice questions about my dad, and the person that gets the most right without looking at his bio or past posts will be recognized in a future blog. (don't tell my dad,he's sleeping) Anyone who wants to may participate, . Ready? Begin!

1. How old is my dad?

A. 28

B. 34

C. 50

D. 41

2. How many kids does he have (including me)?

A. six

B.none

C. three

D. four

3. What is his favorite food?

A. blow pops

B. filet mignon

C. pizza

D. tuna casserole

4. What is his favorite drink (you'll have to guess this one!)

A. Dr. Pepper

B. Diet Coke

C. Sierra Nevada Beer

D. Hi-C

4. What does he refer to my mom as in his posts?

A. Big Mama

B. The Mum

C. Mom M.D.

D. Amy-Amy

5. What is his favorite thing about my mom?

A. she is smart

B. she is beautiful

C. she is kind

D. she is wealthy

E. she doesn't like hannah montana

**********you are not required to participate, only if you choose************

**Update 7/10/09 - Answers now on comment section and please note that I was NOT taking a nap yesterday when she hijacked my computer, I was doing bills!

Why do married people over 40 drink?

2009-07-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

Another one of life's little mysteries has crept up behind R.E. Dad, tapped me on the shoulder and asked quite the perplexing question..."Why do married people over 40 drink?" By "drink" I'm referring to an adult beverage which has the potential to alter one's physical or cognitive ability. I'm wondering what purpose does consumption of alcohol really have once you've found your life partner, reached middle age, and finally understand that it's easier to function the next day without a hangover.

I understand why young people consume mass quantities of intoxicating liquid refreshment...to be social, to meet members of the opposite sex, and to break away from their parents. I understand why senior citizens drink as well...to be social, to meet members of the opposite sex, and to break away from their adult children. So why the heck do "hitched" middle agers tap the keg?

I asked a couple married forty-year olds this past weekend why they think their peers still drink. One said "to relax after a tough day." This totally makes sense to me...stress release. But aren't there healthier alternatives such as exercise, yoga or a deep penetrating shoulder massage? Another answered "to take you away from your worries." HMMM, this sounds like something a good book, relaxing music or just an evening of Home & Garden TV can solve.

Binge drinking and alcoholism are beyond the scope of this blog. I don't really want to go there. I have discovered that I do not need a drink in my hand to be social. In fact, I choose my words much more carefully and am less likely to put my foot in my mouth. So again, why should I drink? Why do married people over 40 drink?

Is it the kidlets...the children? Do they drive us to drink? Once upon a time I DID think that this was the case. I thought that a fantastic idea for a company that sold alcoholic beverages would be to create an ad campaign that exclaimed "We don't make the kids or raise the kids...that is your job...OUR job is to make them much more fun!"

OK, so tell me...what do YOU think? If you're married and over 40...or heck, married under 40...or even single over/under 40...give me your thoughts.............please.

Summer has really really arrived! Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-06-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

Man has it been freakin' hot here in the Sacramento Valley. I have to laugh at the Nation's Weather Map as so often it doesn't give a clear picture as to how hot it really is for the majority of our state. Sure it's in the 70's along the coast (San Diego, Los Angeles and San Francisco), but move inland a few miles and we're approaching or are experiencing triple digits. I suppose no one cares too much, however, as our neck of the woods might as well be considered the final descent after leaving the fly-over states.

This past weekend Mom MD and I drove about 90 miles north to our college alma mater in Chico, CA for a "Late 80's/Early 90's" reunion (& of course our wedding anniversary). Catching up with friends and acquaintances was totally awesome. 80's night at LaSalles was especially fun even though I didn't partake in any adult beverages as a result of hopping back on the wagon from a tough morning that followed an even rougher night.

One benefit of not drinking in a college town was how inexpensive if not free sodas (pops for you in the Midwest) were. Designated drivers must be difficult to recruit and retain, so they're showered with freebies, and treated like royalty in the college town. In all seriousness, returning to my old haunts was quite surreal. At least one memory or story for almost every place we went, but as time keeps slipping into the future, it seems like the events that unfolded some twenty years ago are less significant and pale in importance to what my life is right now.

As some of you saw, I posted a few wedding pics from 17 years ago this month. What's interesting to note about me then was that I was the heaviest that I had ever been or have been since. Knowing that I was so fat on my wedding day has always been difficult for me. Just one of those times in my life that IF I could go back and make a change, I most certainly would. To think that I was both unemployed and fat....what was future Mom MD thinking?

I swear I'm working on some new stuff...I just can't finish. Sister of Mom MD is here this week with her kidlets, so it's quite the zoo. I can't wait for the 4th of July. I enjoy everything that it represents and all the events that will take place on Saturday within the boundaries of this glorious country.

Happy (17th) Anniversary Mom MD!

2009-06-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

You know I had to start with your favorite picture from our wedding album. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story. We had a buffet at our reception. Notice how much I pilled onto my plate? Was I nervous or just worried that I wouldn't get enough to eat?

Wow, has it really been seventeen years?

All my love, R.E. Dad

Twitter is lame

2009-06-26T12:51:00.000-07:00

I'll admit that I've been away for awhile. I mean mentally, not physically. In fact, I haven't ventured more than 10 miles from home in a few weeks. I have that bizarre feeling like I often experience in heart-pounding nightmares where I'm in college, I stop going to class, and then have to play catch-up the last week of the semester, write term papers and cram big-time for finals. Ultimately, I fail.

In other words, when I drift away from the blogosphere after a period of just a few days, the effort to return to "form" would be a swimmer's equivalent of swimming from Fisherman's Wharf to Alcatraz and back while doing the butterfly with one arm in 20 degree choppy water (You get the idea). Of course when I don't post, then I don't feel worthy to visit fellow bloggers' sites. Yadda yadda yadda, you get the gist.

So in the past few days while avoiding the blogosphere, I did venture over to Twitter.

You've heard of it, correct? - the latest and not-so-greatest social networking site. If you had been watching CNN the past several days (prior to yesterday), ALL that you would see were the "tweets" reportedly coming out of Iran.

Anyway, so my daughter asked me to join up. I refused for a couple weeks as I truly wasn't interested. Seemed like Twitter had taken over for what cell phones had become in recent years...the "Hey, yep, now I'm driving through Mickey D's and ordering a freakin' Happy Meal...and I was just blowing my nose" - like I really care.

So I caved and joined and jumped through this hoop and that hoop. Finally came time to add people and guess what? I found two people that I know. I didn't look too hard, but geese! Now after a few days, I have something like eight people "Following" me who I do not know...so I'm wondering why? Guess why? Wonder why? Here's why....they decide to follow you, and when you go back to see who the heck they are, they share a website to market some product.

What is the Twitter name for "spam?" Twam? Interestingly enough if you check out one of your followers, you'll notice that they have NO one following them and they are following 900 people......I think it's beyond creepy.

Even beyond creepy, and a bit frightening, I wonder if people are actually "Tweeting while driving?" OK, perhaps I'm being a bit harsh. Maybe, not. For now, until I can find a use for Twitter, I'm just going to call it "lame."

Mom MD's quote...was she talking 'bout ME?

2009-06-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

Mom MD made the Sac Bee again......here is the link..."Birthing centers make room for Daddy"

I played around with the Share This button for a good hour and couldn't figure it out. Pretty lame, I know.

Dear So and So.....Numero Uno

2009-06-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

Good morning to all creatures in the Blogosphere - I'm going to grab an idea from Kat and try out the "Dear So and So" on this beautiful Friday.

--------------------

Dear JuJu,

Oh why do you get up so early? Daddy, Mommy, your siblings and the preschool try so hard to wear you out the previous day with the hopes that you'll sleep in past 5:30AM. Even so somehow and someway you are so determined to crawl out of bed, tap the rooster on the shoulder and hand me the remote to turn on the Disney Channel.

Hugs and Kisses (and perhaps a big present if you sleep in tomorrow)

R.E. Dad and Mom MD
--------------------

Dear (Former) life insurance company,

Thank you so much for advising us in such a kind and pleasant tone that you were denying our request to reinstate our term life insurance policy that was cancelled in error by our financial adviser's office. Honestly, it made me feel so much better that your representative over the phone explained that we could have just allowed our premium payments to lapse for six months and our policy would still have been in place. That's a great lesson for the kids. It's OK to be irresponsible towards your obligations, but when an error or mistake is made ~~by someone else~~....consequences are nonnegotiable and severe.

~~Thanks for nothing, Jackass~~ Respectfully,

R.E. Dad and Mom MD
--------------------

Dear Hermie the Crab,

I love taking you out of your cage and letting you crawl around on the kitchen table. I've noticed that when I'm holding you in my hand that sometimes you like to "pinch me." Is it because I'm stressing you out and you would prefer to just hang out on your plastic plants instead. Please let me know. Maybe you just don't like me. Either way, please let me know because it might not be too late to beg Mommy and Daddy to get me a better pet.

Your Pal,

Alec
--------------------

Dear "Golden" State in which I reside,

Thank you so much for reducing the allowable exemption for dependents by $210 per child. Honestly, I was beginning to feel a tad guilty about the piles of money that I was receiving in tax refunds each year. So, with the higher taxes that we'll be paying, am I to assume that our schools will improve and perhaps that you'll hold the line on state college tuition increases?

Signed,

Big Daddy with Big Family in Big State.
--------------------

Done for now.

The story BEHIND this dress.

2009-06-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

If articles of clothing had the ability to communicate, this dress could tell one helluva a doozy tale. Since this is quite impossible, R.E. Dad has volunteered to do the honors.

This morning 5-year old Vivi and I were rummaging through the girls' closet in hopes of coming to a mutual agreement on today's wardrobe. R.E. Dad, knowing that the Vivster epitomizes the "girly girl" when it comes to fashion suggested a dress...

R.E. Dad - "How 'bout this one Viv? Looks like a winner" (I didn't recognize the dress - remember I wash the clothes - I don't buy 'em)

Vivikins - "Dad, that's Brenna's old dress, but it fits me"

R.E. Dad - "OK, put it on so we can go downstairs and have breakfast"

Vivikins - "Yes Daddy" (She quickly and quietly puts on the dress)

So on the way down the stairs the triplets and I pass by the built-in bookshelves that contain all the old photo albums....for some reason and she's never done this before...I hear the sweet voice.....

Vivikins - "Daddy, can you get me the album with the leaves on it?"

R.E. Dad - "OK" (I pull it down, open it up and take a look to see which album it is - it's the
album when big sis Brenna was roughly around the ages of late three to early five.
I give the album back to Vivi and we go downstairs)

Vivikins - (Sitting eating her breakfast and looking at the album) "Dad, Julia...look at these
pictures, Brenna is wearing the SAME dress!"

R.E. Dad - "Wow, what a strange coincidence!"

Now the story BEHIND the dress. Brenna wore that dress at her 4Th birthday party...which she celebrated with about 8 of her preschool (girl)friends at our blue colonial house in West Hartford, CT on May 11Th, 2002. Holy crap, that was more than seven years, four homes and three babies ago!

I remember so much about that day including what a beautiful bright sunny Spring day it was. I remember Mom MD and Bren's Godmother spending some incredible sum (like $90) on the candy, decorations and party favors. I remember setting up a small party table in the sun porch. I remember the girls playing musical chairs and duck duck goose on the grass behind the house. I even remember getting the final whack on the pinata.

Yes, I remember lots of details about that day. Brenna remembers some stuff as well, but it's what she forgot to do that headlines THIS story. When she went upstairs to change into her dress before the party, she did not put on her panties! She went pantiless all the way through the party and no one noticed until after the party ended. Tell me how this happens? The girls ran and played on the grass, and we had lots of adults around as well.

I had videotaped the party (which is my excuse for not noticing) . So after the party was over, Mom MD and I immediately hooked-up the video recorder to the TV. We were very curious to see if the video showed any hint of a pantiless child. HMMM, maybe at duck duck goose or sitting on the couch unwrapping presents? No, not really...videotape was clean and harmless. Bizarre and unexplainable...perhaps Brenna did have panties on throughout the party and for some reason took them off just before the party ended? Theories abound.

Since then I don't believe Brenna has ever forgotten to put on her panties, but what about Vivi and JuJu? Are they remembering? I have to confess I don't believe I've ever asked them. So on our walk to preschool this A.M.

R.E. Dad - "Vivaroo are YOU wearing panties?" (motions to lift dress and get visual).

Vivikins - (Moving away at light speed) "YES DADDY!" (With the preschooler look of WTF)

I suppose next time I should just ask..........

Summer has arrived: Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-06-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Summer has arrived for R.E. Dad....basketball and hockey have both crowned a champion, FINALLY! Perhaps next year one of my teams will stumble into the playoffs. Yeah, believe me I'm not going to hold my breath for ten minutes or even worse pre-purchase seats from Ticketbastard. By the way, the grab button has been provided today by "The Un Mom." Drop by her blog and say "Howdy."

I've been considering re-naming my blog "The Blog About Nothing"......think about it. Come on, Sunday my post was a Gummy Bear video.

I have a new Melman in my life....the keyless remote for my car requires about 1 million PSI to do its thing. My thumb ain't strong enough to make the unlock and lock buttons respond in a timely manner. I've received some very undeserved and quite hurtful stink eye from members of my own family, Mom MD included.

Do you think that people who go out to dinner in the Netherlands really whip out the pocket calculator after the bill arrives, and say "I had the chef salad and iced tea, here's my money and I won't pay one euro more! I'm Dutch and proud of it!"

California parking lots are terrible. Compact spots abound, but most of us still drive minivans, SUV's and larger trucks. Tight spaces, poor visability and perpetual headache are the norm. What REALLY is the point? All I get are dinged doors and more aggravation. Hey, an idea...how 'bout we pretend that it snows so we get one huge blacktop with some painted lines? We don't need more trees in parking lots. This just creates more opportunity for birds to crap on our ride.

Speaking of California. The state lawmakers recently banned hand held cell phones while driving. Guess they thought that this was a major distraction which could have dire consequences. Perhaps, but why not go further...ban children while driving. Any parent will tell you that it's easier to eat with chopsticks while driving than having kidlets bouncing and wailing behind you.

Speaking of kids. Do you think toy companies calculate how long it takes the average parent to cut, tear, stab, rip and mutilate that hard plastic packaging that holds their little darling's newest toy hostage? At our house we probably lose an hour of our Christmas morning opening those damn things. Someone find a toy representative. Ask them if a parent has ever gone postal or worse tossed a Susie-poops-a-helluva-lot in the fireplace attempting to pry open that dreaded packaging?

Speaking of crabby. The hermit crab IS still alive. In my opinion, we're pretty decent hermit crab keepers. Recently a letter to the editor in our local paper blasted the people who were allowing hermit crabs to be used as prizes at the Strawberry Festival saying that they are "delicate creatures" and need a great deal of care (not to be taken lightly). Huh? So, should all potential hermit crab owners be required to obtain a permit? What about babies? Any idiot can have one of them without a license.

Finally, the triplets have evolved from "potty talk" to "body talk." Yes, we're talking about private parts almost as much as Howard Stern.

So much for "Random Tuesday Thoughts" - welcome to Summer '09.

Gummy Bears!

2009-06-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Youtube has become the family's latest destination for entertainment. Bren found this gem yesterday,

played it for the rest of us, and now NONE of the family can extract this bloody tune out of our heads.

See what you think. I bet you can't play it just once.

Six Word Saturday

2009-06-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

Chilly June, thought this was Sacramento!

Hey it's R.D. Daughter! Comment?

2009-06-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

Hey it's me Brenna, R.D's daughter!! Today was my last day of 5Th grade! yay!!! At the end of the day, the results for voting for future predictions were in! Everyone was given three words that described them, and their classmates' predictions for the future! Now, can you guess what they said?

1. What three words (accumulative)do you think that classmates used to describe me?
A. funny, trustworthy, understanding
B. creative, smart, healthy
C. shy, kind, respectful
D. generous, energetic, flexible
E. playful, kind, silly

2. What do you think I was voted most likely to be?
A. author
B. doctor
C. singer
D. actress
E. talk show host

If you think you know the answers (based on what my dad has told you about me or if you know me) guess! the first person to get both right will be acknowledged in a future blog! or if no one gets it right, I will let you know!

**NOTE: I had nothing to do with this one, but it's OK. My own fault. I had left the laptop on downstairs, logged-on to blogger, and went upstairs to take a nap.

Random Tuesday and 3/4

2009-06-09T19:44:00.000-07:00

I just couldn't allow the clock to strike midnight before getting my next post written. I swear sometimes I get into one of those ruts that serve not only as a barrier to writing, but keep me far away from the blogosphere all together. This would be analogous to ~~skipping~~ missing a college course for a couple weeks and then desperately playing catch-up.

I do have an explanation for my time way. I was in Vegas baby! No, it wasn't for a weekend of ~~all night Black Jack followed by drunken taxi rides to the nudie bar~~ 5-cent video poker. I was with my family visiting my in-laws in nearby Henderson swimming in their new in ground swimming pool. The triplets and Bren Bren had a marvelous time, and we even celebrated Mom MD's 39th Birthday ~~for the 3rd time~~.

Sunday's departure from the Vegas ~~Zoo~~ Airport was quite entertaining even for Sin City. The family had finally made it up to the check-in ticket counter when an ~~agitated 20-something bimbo in like 10 inch stiletto heals whose "girls" were poised to make a most untriumphant appearance~~ upset younger woman walked straight up to our ticket agent and began ~~dropping the "f-bomb" like we were in a high school locker room~~ using choice words to explain how the airlines had made a slight mistake affecting her immediate travel plans. All we adults could do was ~~pray for security to take her down~~ stare, but the triplets couldn't have cared a less, and all Bren could do was snicker.

Am I the only one who is disappointed in Facebook? Way too many gimmicks, quizzes, and adds. Who in the heck could have 200, 300 or 400+ friends? Maybe someone like Nancy Pelosi? Seriously, last time I checked I had about 125 and of those maybe 50 are a combination of relatives, close friends, high school/college classmates and former work colleagues...the remainder are friends of friends or friends of friends of friends. Yes, some of my friends are more Mom MD's friends say from med school or residency, but I knew them too. Mom MD actually "de-listed" someone from her Facebook account a couple weeks back. I'm way too chicken to do that.

Was anyone actually surprised by Adam Lambert's admission of his sexual orientation this week? Does anyone actually care? He is a fantastic singer/entertainer and I do predict that he will one day takeover lead singing duties for "Queen." Interesting!

Did I tell you that we now have season tickets to the worst team in the NBA? No, not the Clippers or even the Wizards. I'll give you a hint......the team name is somehow related to the word in quotations from the previous paragraph. Crazy isn't it, but like the stock market the goal is to buy low, sell high.

Triplet news......nothing much new, really. They still love to beat on each other, and they love to argue about who between the three of them will be a certain character in the TV show or movie that they are watching. For example, tonight I put on the ~~lame~~ human version of "Scooby Doo" so ~~no freakin' surprise~~ both girls wanted to be the lovely "Daphne." JuJu then proceeded to argue her point that Vivi should be "Velma" because she is "short and has glasses." Of course, lost to her is the fact that "Velma" is also the most intelligent and tends to solve the most mysteries.

Out

A few words on "Wordless Wednesday" - Happy 5th Birthday Triplets!

2009-06-03T07:19:00.001-07:00

I so can't believe that you're now 5!

'Just yesterday you were 4 at the Sac Zoo.

One time you were 3 at the Train Museum.

3 years ago you 3 were 2 at our old house.

Oh boy, and girls. Mostly bald at 1!

My oh my, so tiny yet so ready to face the
world that late spring evening 3 June '04!

Happy Birthday A, J & V!!!

Love, R.E. Dad

School Bullies, what to do?

2009-06-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking bullying started about the time Eve coerced Adam in to taking a bite of a bright red apple. Speculation aside and truly no laughing matter, my oldest child is being harassed by kids in her 5Th Grade class. Yes, my sweet intelligent, yet shy and a tad quirky 'tween has been subjected to behavior that Mom MD and I consider unacceptable.

Without going into too much detail, a girl has decided to make my daughter's educational experience miserable not only while in class, but at lunch, in line, and on the playground with continuous verbal abuse. Another boy approached her immediately after school and basically told her that he loathes her and she is a female dog...nice huh? Unacceptable.

I was bullied as a kid. Many of us were at some point between Kindergarten and high school graduation. I was an overweight kid. My tormentor was actually my age and a teammate on my Little League team. He lived on the next street over sometime between the 6Th and 8Th grades. I still remember the morning at the bus stop that he punched me in the face (I believe I was wearing my retainer) just because I wouldn't let his friend cut in line. I'm thinking that this was the same morning that he grabbed a cat by the tail and hurled it over a wall....nice huh?

The neighborhood kids were elated when he moved to Texas sometime before high school. I didn't hear of or from him until about 8 years ago when out of the blue I received an e -mail that said "Hey D, it's your old friend J.." I so wanted to fire back a nasty e -mail and say "You were NO friend of mine....you were the neighborhood bully and I'm surprised that you're not in prison!" I didn't respond.

Back to the present, and our daughter's situation. Even though this hasn't escalated into anything physical, Mom MD and I are not willing to let this behavior continue. We made the decision tonight to take action and write an e-mail to her teacher with a cc to the principal. We didn't go into specifics in the e-mail, but instead indicated that we'd put a handwritten letter from our daughter detailing the various incidents in the teacher's inbox tomorrow.

In addition, we requested that the teacher, principal, and school provide us with what actions were being taken to discipline these kids. Kids always need to know when their behavior is inappropriate. What they're doing is hurtful, degrading and utterly unacceptable! Are we taking the proper stance with an acceptable course of action? Should we have contacted the parents directly? Any personal experience, remedies or suggestions would be much appreciated.

Triplet Funnies

2009-05-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

*One evening at the dinner table:

Vivi - "I don't like butter on my bread!"

Juju - "Give it to me Viv, I'll lick it off for you"

*One morning in the car: We see a turkey walking on the side of the road

Vivi - "Oh my God!"

Alec - "No Vivian, you can't say that!"

Juju - "Yeah, Viv...Ms. Jamie (from preschool) said that you can either say Oh my gosh or Oh my golly"

*One trip to the bathroom (in the middle of dinner):

Alec - "Daddy, can you wipe my bottom?"

R.E. Dad - "Yeah I guess, but you need to learn how to do this before starting Kindergarten!

Alec - "OK"

R.E. Dad - "Now wash your hands before we go back to the dinner table"

Alec - "Why, you wiped my bottom?"

*One night in the car listening to 'Yankee Doodle'

Vivi - "I love that Wanky Doodle song!"

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Random Tuesday all over again

2009-05-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

As baseball catching great turned English butcher extraordinaire with a knack for Malapropism Yogi Berra's famous quote "This is like deja vu all over again" was quite apropos last evening at R.E. Dad's domicile. Spewing out the events into simpler terms, our local vomit fairy returned with a vengeance one week to the night and a second child puked off the side of her bed with mass quantities of last night's supper from Chevy's lying randomly upon the shag carpet below. The little tax exemptions that these little creatures provide might need to be replaced by larger tax exemptions or perhaps bucket loads of cold hard cash to adequately replace population in extremely stressed-out industrial countries....just saying.

Rapidly switching gears from 1st to 3rd, Bren asked me the other day what I use to eat off in college. Aside from the dorm year (I don't count my second stint in the dorms. I still consider it to be my year of shame, long story), I honestly don't remember much. I DO know that I gained about 50 lbs from the first to the 'final' year, so I must have eaten something or somethings. I also know that I barbecued steak and hamburgers often, but this was mostly on weekends.

Funny how I can remember my roommates eating patterns better than my own. One roommate worked as a cook at a restaurant, and later at a liquor store. I called him "the snake" as he skipped many meals and ate one huge meal every three or four days. I suspect he snacked at work, and was fed occasionally by his girlfriend. My second roommate was a carb freak eating PB&J sandwiches on white bread, of course. He also frequently dined on rice, and various cereals and pop tarts. My other roommate ate a ton of fast food, but was well ahead of the recent health craze as his favorite destination was Subway.

This was the same roommate who liked to cook gourmet meals for himself. One day he decided to stockpile garlic, so he brought home a huge hanging cluster of garlic. At best, our apartment smelled of stale morning breath generated from one hundred sleeping individuals with questionable hygiene in an airtight 10 foot by 10 foot room. At worst, the allium sativum A.K.A. garlic worked as a female repellent. By a vote of 3 to 1, the situation was quickly 'handled.'

Finally, people that know me, know that I love to jot down my favorite or least favorite something. I also do enjoy lists ....best, worst, love, hate, top 10, etc which becomes a record or a snapshot of who I was, where I was or what I was thinking (what was I thinking??) Here are a few of my favorites in the past 12 months.

Favorite Movie by far - 'Gran Torino'
Favorite Vacation w/o kids - Florida (Key West, Miami, Jupiter (spring training)).
Favorite Vacation with kids - Mark and Karol's in North Dakota.
Favorite Day Trip - 3-way tie (San Francisco, Chico, and Six Flags Discovery Kingdom).
Favorite TV Show - '24' - Jack loves kicking ass, taking no prisoners.
Favorite Concert - Tie "The Police" at Sleeptrain Amphitheater and Bren's solo at Talent Show.
Favorite Sporting Event - NY Knicks vs. Miami Heat..D-wade leads incredible comeback.
Favorite Fair or Festival - Strawberry Festival.
Favorite Restaurant & Meal - Joe's Stone Crab in Miami Beach.

As Yogi says "I didn't really say everything I said." Really, enough said on this particular Random Tuesday.

Six Word Saturday

2009-05-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

Saint Anna Greek Food Festival today!

What the heck is this?

2009-05-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

So I hate to bite the hand that feeds me. Well actually it's about the equivalent of a McDonald's Happy Meal every six months (if that). I just don't understand why this advertisement from Google would be placed on my blog. This ad is NOT relevant to my site content. Can someone explain how this type of ad ended up here? I certainly can not!

Cheat on Your Wife
Search Married Personals for Women Looking to Cheat Also. Join Free!
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I actually have been considering removing the Google ads. Making extra cash isn't what this blog is about. AdSense just seemed kind of cool when I started out last Fall. My purpose has always been to communicate what I'm currently doing and thinking with family and friends. Making new friends in the blogosphere has definitely given value to my blogging experience.

So...What do you think I should do about this? Any suggestions? This just isn't right.

I'm trying not to be too pissed about this. This evening hasn't been a complete loss.. Heck Kris Allen did win American Idol '09!

Oh, before I sign off tonight I want to mention that the triplets have Kindergarten "tryouts" tomorrow. So for fun this evening, Mom MD and I quizzed them on anything and everything that we thought they should know by day one this Fall. ABC's, colors, and shapes no problem. Just after bath, however, we asked Vivi to count from one to ten in Spanish, and she did no problema, but then I said to go ahead and count to ten in English...she proceeded to say "No, I can't do that!" UGH, I'm so not surprised.

Random Tuesday

2009-05-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Random Tuesday comes at the perfect time of the week. The adventures of the previous weekend still remain etched in your noodle and typically you're not too far into the week to have extreme mental fatigue. I truly wish that this was a typical week.

Last night or should I say early this "Random Tuesday" morning I experienced one of those overnight parental crises that we've all had to endure......being startled and awakened in the middle of the night (1:35 A.M. to be exact) by a child's crying, then retching, then the mad dash to the nearest bathroom with 20 feet feeling like 20 yards, then not quite making it, then holding the child's hair as she vomits and vomits and vomits....then the clean-up, then putting the child to bed with a waste basket and towels, and finally the paranoia that history would repeat itself very soon....it did again at 3:30A.M. followed by Bren's complaining of nausea and being extremely warm at 4:45A.M (I opened her window).....UGH and I had finally gone back to sleep and was having one of those cool college reunion-type dreams.

Yep, we've all been there, and thank heavens they're both feeling better today. Truly remarkable how much better kids seem to feel when you tell them that they can stay home from school...beats laughter as the best medicine.

So what are we doing today? I can tell you that we're not watching results of the California "Special" Elections....experience tells me that the 10 or so Californians heading to the polls today will shoot down anything resembling higher taxes. In Sacramento, NBA Kings fans are hoping for a lottery miracle so we get the #1 pick in June's draft.

Bren and I were just playing "Guess how old the cast members of TV's "Full House" are today?" I'm happy to report that I totally nailed it on Bob Saget, John Stamos, and Candace Cameron. Now I can take my dog and pony show on the road or get hired on by Six Flags as a weight, age and IQ guessing boy.

If you haven't fallen asleep already, have you ever noticed when you buy a "mixed bag" food item that invariably one item is rejected by your family and either you have to eat it or it gets thrown away? At our house, no one likes the new Honey Graham Z-BAR flavor. Ditto for Plain oatmeal in the Kirkland variety pack. Most despised of all from the chip bag....drum roll, please............FRITOS!

Finally, I've uncovered an inexpensive, calorie free reward system for the preschool set, and I'll pass it along to you free of charge (mostly as a thank you for surviving today's post). Kids go absolutely ga ga for music videos on Youtube, especially dance videos. In fact, I added "Groove is in the Heart" to my favorites this past weekend, and the triplets watched it over and over again....the heck with ice cream or frozen yogurt.....best reward to date and it didn't cost me a darn thing! Absolutely, Dee-Liteful!

"That" annoying question

2009-05-18T07:19:00.001-07:00

Good morning and happy Monday. I was prepared to compose a "feel good" post this A.M., but I heard "that" annoying question yesterday afternoon and I can't let it go. Any guess as to what was said? Here's a hint... it's arguably the unsolicited question that ~~pisses the living hell~~ irks an at-home dad the most. In fact, since this was a Sunday afternoon, any father might take issue with this one.

Perhaps this event is the equivalent of witnessing a purple three-legged giraffe walking down the street for some individuals, but truly once in a blue moon a dad might take the kids out of the house without a mom. Is this really so unusual? Come on! I was just hanging out at Petsmart minding my own business with the triplets and playing with the kittens available for adoption when an ~~obnoxious old hag~~ older woman asks "are you giving Mom a break today?"

Uh, let me ponder that one for a sec.............~~hell no hag~~ "Long story...do you have some time ma'am? You might find this quite informative. To answer your question...yes and no, mom took our older daughter next door to Kohls to try on bathing suits and I'm killing some time here at the pet store, but honestly our situation is probably not too different from other families in America 2009. Here's the story ~~Carol Brady~~. Sometimes Mom and Dad both work outside the home. Occasionally, neither works at all. In other cases, one or the other isn't even home at all........

Now ~~Harriet Nelson~~, sometimes Mom or Dad will work outside the home while the other is what we call "at-home" or in your day "stay-at-home"... I'm actually currently the at-home dad and she's the out-of-home mom , so to answer your question...no, I am not actually giving her a 'break' today ~~but you can give me one! So I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your effen questions to yourself June Cleaver!~~

OK, I'm starting to feel better. I'm telling myself that she didn't mean any harm. But why if she felt the need to say something didn't she find something more creative to ask or at the least offer a canned compliment? What did she have to gain by asking me "that" annoying question? To me, this ranks fairly close on the insensitivity scale to asking a dieter how much more he intends to lose...or a single woman in her mid-30's when she's getting married.

Here's a suggestion for next time......let's just talk about the weather. Out.

Happy 11th Birthday Bren

2009-05-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

Dearest Brenna -

Mom and Dad can't believe that we have an 11-year old. Cliche yes, but it seems like just yesterday that a 9 lb, 7 oz "cone head" was pulled kicking and screaming from a weary second year medical student who became a new mother. I imagine that it's obvious to you now why we celebrate Mother's Day every year. I chose a picture of you with R.E. Dad's Mom to mark your day.

Just to be clear and honest. You are by far my favorite "tween" and I couldn't be anymore proud of you or your accomplishments if you were my child. Oh wait, you ARE my child....it's so very obvious. You, like your Dad have that quirkiness gene that Mom MD doesn't. We enjoy singing out loud, but unlike dear old Dad who tends to sing alone and is clearly tone deaf, you actually can carry a tune & have the ability to brighten our day with your music ....a talent inherited from your late Grandpa Paul, a gifted musician and fantastic human being.

As I begin to close this birthday message, I wanted to mention that I can't begin to understand how the addition of the triplets jolted and turned your world upside down. Just know that they so admire you, like Mom & Dad do.

Happy 11th Birthday, Fuzzy B.

Love (R.E.) Dad

Wordless Wednesday (Strawberry Festival)

2009-05-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Random Tuesday

2009-05-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

What a surprise that I'm cramming two posts within twenty-four hours after averaging a new post about every four to five days the previous couple months. As my late Grandma Edie used to say after I made a good word score while playing her in a game of 'Scrabble', "what are you celebrating?" I honestly do not know. Maybe, it's Bren's upcoming "Weekend Birthday Extravaganza" or the triplet's graduation from preschool. Perhaps, it's simply due to the arrival of Spring in Northern California.

The family had a fantastic Mother's Day, not just because we attended our first Strawberry Festival, but for quality time spent together. My Mom wrote me a powerful heartfelt note via e-mail yesterday telling me how much spending the day with our family meant to her. My Mom & I spent the better part of the afternoon outside on the patio talking politics while watching the triplets splash around in their "froggie" pool. Meanwhile, Mom MD had the opportunity to continue reading the latest "Twilight" series book and bake cupcakes with Bren.

Onto another topic, I wanted to mention that I've recently made the decision to stop worrying so much about what other people do or say as it's really not my business. If they chose to smoke, waste water, go to the casinos or overeat, then they are certainly free to do so. My concern lies with the well-being of my immediate family and judging from the pile of laundry this morning, there are quite a few of us living under this roof.

On a much lighter note, Bren just can't let go of our experience at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom last summer when she & I allowed a young fella to guess our ages. To Bren's horror, he had her pegged perfectly at "ten", but I was "twenty-seven" which if you know my actual age is just a couple years off!

AGAIN, last night at dinner Bren was talking about her 'young' father when Vivi asked "Daddy how old are you?" I just smiled and said "twenty-seven of course" because I'm starting to get used to the idea that maybe I could pass for my twenties in a dark enough room. Right away Vivi said "Oh my God!" Yes, I suppose to a four-year old, even twenty-seven is ancient.

The new family pet

2009-05-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

R.E. Dad's clan finally took the plunge and obtained our first post-child family pet. 'His' name is "Hermie" and he's an extremely camera shy hermit crab. The weekend ritual of casually browsing local pet stores in the name of free entertainment has been interrupted. Now our weekend jaunts to Petsmart will have Hermie's well being in mind. In fact, the first order of business this upcoming weekend will be to shop for a decent "crib" for little Hermie as this tiny plastic container is substandard....I don't want to be labeled a "slumlord."

If anyone is to blame for our new addition, I suppose that person would be the guy who is typing this post. Yep, after being the steady "NO" man for months with reference to any kind of pet adoption from fish to ferret (illegal in California by the way - no, not fish, ferret), I became swept up in the moment.

The family (including my Mom) spent part of our Mother's Day attending the revitalized Strawberry Festival at the Placer County Fairgrounds in Roseville. So after eating a wonderful pancake breakfast complete with strawberries, whipped cream and sausage, we ventured over to the ride and game area of the festival.

After watching the kids go on a few rides, we decided to check-out the ping pong ball toss which was well shaded on a warm sunny morning. For $5, you could get 30 or so balls and toss them towards about 15 rows of small fish bowls. The prize for one ball in a bowl was one small hermit crab. Two balls in a bowl (that doesn't sound good, sorry) was a medium hermit crab. Three balls in a bowl meant a muy grande hermit crab. I thought why not....$5 and the kiddos could have at it.

I was right...the kiddos did have at it throwing ping pong balls all over Northern California but clearly had next to no chance of scoring a hole-in-one about the same odds as a snowman winning a surfing competition. Good? Yes, but R.E. Dad couldn't help himself and tried a tad too hard to "win." Uh oh, I did make one in and yadda yadda yadda, we now are proud owners of a little hermit crab in a blue shell. The triplets were thrilled! Mom MD and I were stuck.

On our way out of the festival an older couple with their grown son stopped us and asked "where did you get the hermit crab?" After we told them about the ping pong toss game, they mentioned that they bought a hermit crab for their son when he was a young boy, and have had the same hermit crab for 32 years!

Later in the evening after the kids had gone to bed I asked Mom MD "what the heck was that couple talking about, no way could they have had a hermit crab for 32 years......I wasn't thinking that this would be such a long term commitment." She said not to worry "we'll probably screw-up and kill the crab long before then." I wish no ill-will on Hermie. I'm glad the kiddos have their first pet.

Six Word Saturday

2009-05-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

Six Word Saturday:

Sleeping in with triplets is impossible.

Bring back 'Cheers'

2009-05-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

I'll have to admit when 'Cheers' premiered on September 30, 1982, I was about as far away from an old tavern in Boston both mentally and geographically that a person could possibly be. At fourteen and domiciled in a seemingly desolate California desert town, I doubt that I was the targeted audience.

For me, the only TV that mattered was on MTV. Do you guys remember that late great network launched on August 1, 1981 before it went to the girls? So many memories of world premiere videos, concert dates, cool VJ's living in NYC drinking cheap coffee on an even cheaper set on a Sunday morning. Let's not forget the mind-numbing videos in which the concept for the video was seemingly created before the song was written.

But I digress. The Life and times of the original MTV generation is reserved for another post.

Bellying back up to the bar, I imagine at the time I couldn't conceive why a handful of middle-aged adults would want to spend so much time away from their families in a dreary basement bar consuming spirits and exchanging banter no less. 'Norm' what a slob. 'Cliff' what a know-it-all. 'Diane' what a preppy snob. 'Sam' what a male gigolo. 'Carla' what a pro creator. 'Frazier' put a sock in it! 'Woody' oh woody... someone call the village, your idiot has been found in Beantown.

Over time with the demise of MTV as it was originally intended to be enjoyed by its founding fathers, I began watching 'Cheers' with more regularity. Some characters left the show while yet others were introduced. 'Lillith" was my favorite newbie...'Rebecca' not so much. But despite those minor character flaws (alluded to above) in which we all possess, the bar patrons and the employees presented that human need for fellowship.

Sadly, I'm not sure if the networks would consider a sit-com (with laugh tracks) centered in a watering hole. Not really "PC." Some schmo with a lisp might say "Oh wow guys, drinking isn't too good for you. It leads to bad decisions, and goes hand-in-hand with smoking, gambling and prostitution. I won't even mention those possible chronic ailments including cirrhosis of the liver, and the tremendous potential monetary costs to society."

Oh please! We're not romanticizing drinking. The setting could be at Starbucks or Einstein Bagels. There is nothing wrong with finding an establishment that "everyone knows your name" or at least in my case they recognize me and remember how I like my java or my bagel prepared. In these tough economic times, why not extend pleasantries, and build camaraderie everywhere we go. We could all use a shot of 'Cheers' in our lives.

I've been living a lie and it's time to come clean....and sometimes I am so clueless!

2009-04-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

OK, I have no choice. I must come clean. There are witnesses, but I really didn't know for sure until yesterday. I swear. All the clues were present, but Sherlock Holmes I am not. Oh wait, I wasn't looking for any clues. In fact, I hadn't a clue. Now I do know, so I must provide full disclosure.

What the "h-e-l-l" am I talking about you say? Is it possible that an at-home dad of forty-one can be so mental? Why not? Have you ever seen ABC's "Desperate Housewives?" If you're a regular viewer I'll put this into terms you may understand. Picture a dude that is 75% Lynette, 20% Susan, 2% Gabrielle, and 2% Bree (the other 1% was Edie, but she's dead). OK, enough screwing around, I'll come clean.....truthfully....I'm not six feet five inches tall. I'm really a fraction over six feet four inches. You're probably thinking "shut the effen heck-up you tall lanky bastard!"

Fair enough. I'll take that and I suppose I deserve it, but the fact remains that I'm not as tall as I thought I was or said I was. I had been living a lie. I could blame R.E. Dad's Daughter for constantly measuring herself and asking me if I wanted to measure myself this time. In the end, it's not her fault. It's mine. I should have double-checked many years ago.

I'm guessing, but I probably "reached" six feet five my senior year of high school. My basketball coach or possibly the people who put out the cracked media guide decided to give me a couple more inches to make our team seem taller and more intimidating. Maybe the two parties conceived the idea to scare our opponents. Who knows? Either way, "six feet five" ended up on my driver's license, and much worse...this was what I told all my friends, family and anyone who asked!!!! What a crock!

The signs were there, but again I hadn't a clue 'cause my subconscious chose to ignore them.

Friends, family and acquaintances seemed like they were taller. I didn't have to tilt my neck down quite as much to carry on a conversation while standing. Maybe I thought that I was just slouching more than before.
My jeans were dragging on the ground and I'd have to constantly pull them up...the bottom of my pant legs were frayed.
I didn't have to put the car seat all the back anymore. In fact I found myself pulling it forward towards the steering wheel.
I couldn't do a reverse two-handed thunder dunk on the basketball court! UH, actually I could never do that...that's D-wade.

So why the heck was I so darn clueless? Perhaps I didn't want to believe it. You say it doesn't matter, but to me it does...I'd been living a lie...WAIT! Perhaps I have an explanation. I had a discectomy in 1/2008. Removal of my disc made me shorter...had to!

OK, I feel better..please, forgive me people....next time I renew my driver's license, I'll say that I AM six feet five, but ask that they include an asterisk addressing the obvious reduction to my stature. I mean I'd feel terrible if my driver's license was intentionally inaccurate. Really, who would lie on their driver's license??

Wordless Wednesday (Beautiful Creatures)

2009-04-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

At-Work or At-Home???? The Decision

2009-04-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I'm spoiling the suspense, but I've made the decision to remain "At-Home" for the foreseeable future. I appreciate all the input and suggestions.

To recap, I received a call from a former boss who indicated that an underwriting position may become available in the near future. The job would be within two miles of my home working Monday through Friday, and roughly 40 hours per week. She wanted to know if I was interested. I said that I would need a few days to think it over and discuss with Mom MD....in the mean time, of course, I decided to solicit the opinions of my friends in the blogosphere.

Again, salary and benefits were not the driving force while contemplating a return to the workplace. I can't say, however, that I didn't feel a strong sense of guilt knowing that so many Americans including acquaintances, former colleagues and even a close friend had been laid off in recent months. I'm pulling for them to find new employment.

So, why not go back for the social outlet (w/adults). Yes, it's nice to chit chat with your workmates, but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking about who's making dinner tonight, my daughter's big social studies test, or about getting back to work as I can't stand having files pile up on my desk! I've made very few friends from the workplace over the years, and I can now see why....I don't like to do anything at work, but work!

That feeling of accomplishment for completion of a job well done lasts only about five minutes in my line of work. As soon as I complete one file, it's on to the next one. Anytime I attempt something new at home.... say trying out a new dinner recipe, and over sixty-seven percent (that's 4 or more) of the household does not complain I am certainly feeling very good about myself! Now, that's a feeling of accomplishment.

Other considerations dealt with time constraints. I understood this new position would not afford the flexibility to work part-time or at home. I would have significantly less time to continue rehab after back surgery by going to the gym. Someone would have to get the kids ready in the morning, pick them up in the afternoon, and take care of them when they were sick...that "someone" would most likely be me. Chores would have to be divided up and most likely we'd have to hire a cleaning service. Ultimately, I'd lose time for not only myself, but with Mom MD and the four kidlets.

Therefore, as Bren enters sixth grade and the triplets start Kindergarten in the fall, I'm eager to have additional opportunity to volunteer at their school. I'm doing my best to make nice with the other parents, mostly moms of course. I want to be around to assist my kids with homework or any other challenges that they might face. I want to be there for Mom MD so she can perform her daily tasks at the highest level. This is my life for now and I'm sticking with it!

Preschool medical professionals

2009-04-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you why, but every time I hear the words "Do you want to play doctor?" I begin to snicker. Perhaps you do as well. Just in case you haven't noticed , however, the activity once requiring compete doctor/patient confidentially has evolved. The preschool medical professionals have clearly moved on from private part anatomy to diagnosing complex sniffles.

JuJu, the near-five middle triplet recently completed Elmo medical school and is our resident physician. So last evening when she asked Alec, Vivi & I if we wanted to play doctor, I snickered and said "OK." It wasn't like the chicken nuggets in the oven would be done anytime soon.

JuJu eagerly grabbed her little blue Elmo doctor's kit and told me to lay down on the carpet. Vivi introduced herself as the nurse, and from what I could gather Alec was a medical assistant (he grabbed a pillow and put it under my head - nice touch). JuJu had begun the exam in her typical way by shoving the "object with the little round mirror on the end" into my mouth and scraping my cheeks, teeth and tongue...kind of gross you say...I suppose.

Before she could reach for her "plastic blue and yellow gizmo that she puts into her ears and listens to my heart", Alec the oh-so-fired medical assistant grabbed her "tiny rectangular black box with numbers that beeps" and ran away. Yes, I'm referring to her pager and she knows that it's a pager and an important part of being a doctor. So like any doctor whose pager has been compromised, she totally loses it, yells and cries, and then drops what she's doing and sprints after that soon-to-be-dead M.A. I say "Dr. JuJu...don't cry...doctors don't cry."

After about ten circles around the big couch and with an assist from her patient, Dr. JuJu regains control of her pager and the exam ensues. Eventually, the exam ends with no real diagnosis. I'm thinking "what am I paying for here?" Dr. JuJu then said "don't worry Daddy, everything is all right" and she proceeded to gently give me a shot...how sweet and I hope that I can be as comforting to the good doctor when she and the other two preschool medical professionals go in for their pre-K shots next month!

Oh yes, you may ask what did the young Vivi nurse do while all this was going on? Well, she asked me what nurses are supposed to do? I said to go upstairs and ask Mom MD. She came down and said "Nurses help you get better." - I said "good answer...Mom MD."

Here's to questions by preschoolers - Vivi asked me the other day "How do babies get out of your tummy?" Answer from R.E. Dad, NOT Mom MD - "Now that's up to the doctor to decide." - pretty good huh? I didn't lie............

OK FINE, I'll read start reading "Harry Potter!"

2009-04-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

OK FINE, I give up...stop badgering me! R.E. Dad has been worn down. Bren a.k.a. Reinventing Dad's Daughter and Mom MD have been suggesting over and over again that I check-out the "Harry Potter" series. So this morning I caved and grabbed "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" off the shelf, placed it on the kitchen counter and will soon be heading off to Hogswart.

I suppose I'm hopping on the float near the end of the parade, but when the first "Harry" book hit the shelves in the late 90's, I wasn't doing much pleasure reading. Mom MD was not yet Mom MD, and little Miss Bren was doing more pooping and slobbering than just 'bout anything else.

Ironically, I purchased the five book set for Bren the summer before 4Th Grade because I thought she needed a challenge. She wasn't too interested and didn't start reading the first book for several months. Mom MD decided to check it out one day and has now read the series twice. Both are anticipating the first of the final two movies this summer.

I've noticed how popular the series has been with not only youth, but professional women as well. I'm curious if any men have completed the series and what they thought? OK, wish me luck. Bren and Mom MD have now moved on to the "Twilight" series, of course.

**Note: Update coming soon on the work/life dilemma - thanks for your comments.

What to do with the 2nd Half of My Life, Part Duh

2009-04-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

Oh what to do, what to do? Reinventing Dad has a dilemma. My boss from my most recent place of employment called me yesterday and mentioned that the new company she manages may have an underwriting position available and wondered perhaps if I'd be interested.

Those of you who have been following my blog since its inception on Sept 9, 2008 (thanks Mom) know that I founded this blog as a vehicle for self exploration. I wanted to discover what makes me tick, my strengths and weaknesses, and plot a course for the rest of my life. Would this include busting back into corporate America at first opportunity or remaining at-home with the lion's share of all things domestic?

I'll skip the pro/con list of working away from home vs. working at home (sorry Mom). I know from experience when trying to compare Option A vs. Option B, I usually have already made-up my mind and go through the motions of doing the list to further justify my choice. I won't lie, I have a clear cut leader this time as well.

What I'm asking is what questions you would ask yourself if you were in my situation? Assume that you don't have to work (outside the home), but you wonder if you've ever given your career a fair shake. You enjoy spending more time with your kids, but you miss the (face-to-face) adult interaction. You've always felt productive at work, but sometimes have difficulty being that "self-starter" at home. Any thoughts, comments?

For additional background and incite, here is my very first entry. If you're a friend/relative from Facebook, please send me an e-mail.

Stay-At-Home Dad article

2009-04-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

The Sacramento Bee published an article yesterday addressing a day-in-the-life of stay-at-home dad Chuck Hammond who takes care of his 1-year old daughter Reagan while his wife works full-time outside the home. By the way, I prefer the term "at-home" dad as S.A.H.D. implies that the male caregiver has been ordered to remain at home until further notice.

The article addressed the typical topics of layoffs, down economy, household budgeting, changing daily routine, and the feeling of isolation. All of which I could go into much more detail, but I won't as I don't want you to leave quite yet. What I thought was fascinating were the comments made by SacBee readers online.

Public opinion ranged from "Be a Man, Get a Job" to "Finally some recognition for the dads...." Of course, there was also the name-calling, and bickering amongst the responders. Some felt that the increase in at-home dads meant an erosion in "traditional" family values and roles. Others felt that this trend is the result of a bad economy. Even others felt dads at home was no big deal, heck what do they want a medal for rearing the children and doing household chores?

My two cents (& maybe you can figure out which comment in the Bee is mine)....the "traditional" family has changed drastically in the past 50 years....like it or not, that's the way it is. You or You and your partner must take care of your immediate family first and foremost. Your situation is what it is...your situation....and unique. You shouldn't care what other people think. Thank you for putting yourself out there Chuck, good luck with your decision and enjoy your little girl!

If you want to check out Chuck's website, it's http://dudesondiapers.wordpress.com/2009/04/15/dudeondiapers-in-the-news/

The Lord's Prayer

2009-04-13T20:25:00.001-07:00

I wasn't going to do an entry today, but with Mom MD at the hospital doing a delivery my ~~mind-numbing couch potato~~ Monday evening television was on hold for an hour or so.

Oh, thank heaven for my DVR which allowed me to pause live TV indefinitely and ~~write witty retorts on Facebook~~ surf the net. At the same time, my two four-year girls across the hall ~~raised hell for what seemed like effen eternity~~ continued to chit chat prior to Mr. Sandman's arrival.

Just as I was about to ~~open a heapin' can of whoop-ass~~ ask them politely for the third time to please please go to sleep, I heard them recite a passage oh so familiar, yet not something that I hear everyday....The Lord's Prayer. I couldn't believe it. We hadn't attended church in months (long story). So, how did they know it?

I had an idea so I made my way to their room and asked "How do you two know the Lord's Prayer?" Vivi wouldn't tell me...no surprise, but Julia said "I know..I'll tell you.....St. Anna's." Hmmm, yeah that's what I thought.

St. Anna's is a Greek Orthodox Church where the triplets attend preschool. When Mom MD and I were searching ~~for a hard nosed toddler military school~~ for a new preschool we asked the director "Does this school have a religious component?" - not that there is anything wrong with this...we just were curious. I believe she said "just a little."

I suppose the fact that she was planning to do the "Nativity Scene" at the annual Christmas program the month after the triplets started should have been our first clue. In any regard, how special to hear your little girls say the Lord's Prayer....I felt so blessed that I had to share.......

Ju Ju Art

2009-04-10T13:46:00.000-07:00

Ju Ju (the middle triplet) loves to create artwork for Mom MD. So in the spirit of Easter with all that is innocent and pure in the world, I thought that I'd post a few of her drawings. You will also be pleased that on this Good Friday, this blog will contain no R.E. Dad ranting and raving!

The "Royal Family" with Ju Ju, Vivi (distance), Mom, Dad and the dreaded dragon. We're not sure where Bren and the Blond Boy are hiding.

This is Ju Ju's achievement chart indicating
that she has completed all her assignments
and chores in a timely manner.

Can you guess what this is? I couldn't until she told me, but now I can totally see it.......

Happy Easter.

Canker Sores and Home Run calls

2009-04-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

Like March, I'm off to yet another painfully slow start in April. Gees, it's April 8th for pity sake. I had EIGHTEEN entries in January...a true R.E. Dad record. Like the single season baseball home run record, I don't believe this mark will ever be surpassed (at least in my lifetime, haha). I'd have to be "juiced" and literally chained to the laptop to cram so many entries into ANY 30-day period. Where have I gone? What am I doing?

On the downside, I'm nursing some nasty canker sores. ...yeah yeah, too much information as I've been told on Facebook, but at least I didn't post any pics of myself. In case you or a loved one has had canker sores and you have no idea how you get them or what they even look like, I have attached additional information.

On the upside, I just finished Mark Levin's "Liberty and Tyranny" which I found fascinating yet frightening. I won't preach, but bottom line....how much civil liberty are we willing to give up to fund ever-expanding federal government programs? Yes Mom MD, I've been sneaking off and listening to Sirius XM channel 166 again.

Switching stations, baseball season '09 has officially begun and yes the Seattle Mariners are still in the pennant race. I'm praying that my team, the St. Louis Cardinals can somehow find a closer...I mean 27 blown saves in 2008, NOT acceptable. Put another way, even if they ONLY blew half those games, they would have won the NL Central. Well, at least I have Hanley Ramirez on my Yahoo Fantasy team!!!

Speaking of baseball....have you ever wondered if you were a baseball radio announcer what your "Home Run Call" would be? In case you're wondering "Elvis has left the building" has been taken. Here are a few that I would consider using...

"Here's the pitch....swing and a high drive to deep (left, right or center) field.....way back....and *with an elevated booming voice*

Hey Diddle Diddle, the Cat has smashed da Fiddle!
Duck, duck, duck, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!
Knock knock! Who's there? ... Nick Nack Paddy Whack...we got ourselves a Run!
Oh praise heavens, it's raining kitties and puppies...the drought is O-Ver!
Order me a Gin and Tonic....Happy Hour has arrived early!
Thank YOU Easter Bunny!
Get a note to THAT ball's Mom, he ain't EVER coming back!

One final observation. Am I the only one who is noticing that coffee shops and fast food restaurants aren't taking any bills higher than $20? Twenty years ago, you could withdrawal $20 from the ATM and go bar hopping the entire night (this included a trip to Taco Bell on the way home). Fast forward to '09. If the forties are consider the new twenties, then in terms of currency, isn't $50 the new $20? Out.

Reinventing Dad's Daughter's 45 Favorite Things

2009-04-01T17:01:00.001-07:00

R.E. Dad's Daughter wanted me to link my blog with hers so she could have a snapshot of her current (1 1/2 months shy of 11) 45 favorite things......her birth date is May 14, 1998 and I have to remind her that many other important events took place on that day....Frank Sinatra died at the age of 83, "Seinfeld" ended it's 9-year run, Israel celebrated its 50th year of independence, Chris Webber was traded to the Kings for Mitch Richmond, and my dear friends celebrated their 4th wedding anniversary.

See her current post, it will put a smile on your face..........

R.E. Dad

Things I don't understand....

2009-03-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

As long as I've been alive and as smart and educated as I think I am, there are so many realities of home life and outside home life that are amazingly perplexing. Like the stereotypical dumb blond might exclaim "I don't get it?" It's almost as if the architect of our universe has a sense of humor or perhaps wanted to keep us challenged or honest. Maybe we weren't suppose to take life so seriously or maybe we don't take it serious enough. I doubt I'll ever know the answer, but here are some questions to ponder while we trudge through 2009, the Year of the Rat.

Oh, last year was the Year of the Rat? Makes sense to me.

Retail -

Why is Wal-Mart is so dimly lit? Come on, the largest U.S. retailer uses skylights and a few fluorescent bulbs. Shoppers all look like zombies.....wait, maybe they are?
Borders moved the "sexuality" section to the front of the store (near the beginning of the checkout line). So instead of "Sex for Dummies" being sandwiched somewhere between psychology and marriage/family, individuals waiting to purchase merchandise can snicker at the dude slouching like he's looking at dirty magazines.
Burger King charges $3.89 for the Whopper Jr. meal which is comprised of three items that you can order from the dollar menu. So am I paying the additional $.89 for better service or is this a hidden camera "idiot" test?

Family -

Kids fight over the cheapest crap like fast-food toys, crayons, old dress-up clothes and shoe boxes. Adults fight over the most expensive items like who gets to drive the beamer, who controls the remote for the big screen TV and who gets to use the video or still cameras.
No matter what you do (or don't do) for a living, when you have kids your second job is that of a short order cook. Even when you DO cook one meal for everyone in the family - say spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread, you'll have special requests from each child. I have one child who doesn't eat jelly, but loves candy. I have another child who doesn't like french fries, but loves bread. Another won't drink milk at home, but will at preschool. Two actually love Mac & Cheese, but the other two can't stand it.
Spelling out words in front of preschoolers puts them on a faster track of learning their letters, words and puts them on a path to reading. No one, not even a kid likes to be gossiped about especially while they're in the room!
Why does every conversation with four-year olds end with potty talk? It's like we're constantly playing the "Six-degrees of poop" game.

I have so many others to follow........

To my son, Alec

2009-03-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

To my son, Alec Scott my precious son born second of four, but first of the three on June 3, 2004 at 7:10 P.M. EST, you have so much to learn about this world. Indeed, I have so much to tell you, but I possess barely a fraction of a fraction of the universe's knowledge. Just understand that you, like your sisters and those of your generation will have so much to digest, so much to endure, yet so much opportunity.

Here's what I can tell you.....

Your first name "Alec" is derived from the Greek name "Alexander" which means "Defender of humanity." I believe this is very fitting given the current state of affairs in this country, but realize that your Mom & I chose this name randomly. We wanted a short masculine name that was not trendy. "Alex" was very popular at the time of your birth. Therefore, when you hear "Alec's" just know that it's something that belongs to you.

Conversely, your middle name "Scott" was after a dear friend of mine who I've known almost my entire life. In fact, we rode big wheels together at the age of 2, played baseball together, attended camps together, and even found ourselves heading off to Chico State University together. Had we been members of the "greatest" generation, I'm confident that we would have gone off to war together. We both even married an "Amy."

Son, I agonized over which of my two closest friends would be the best man at our wedding. In my heart I believed that whoever I didn't chose to stand next to me I would honor in another way. Your birth was my opportunity.

Speaking of friends. My advice is to begin developing a core of friends starting in elementary school. Often times your first friends are neighbor kids or those with common interests like baseball. Maybe you'll join a "sister-haters club" and you'll find a friend for life. Over time, friends may move out of town or you may outgrow them or your interests may change or they may turn on you and not want to be your friend anymore. Honestly, ALL of these happened to me while growing up. Don't take it personally.

Yeah, you'll hear people say "it's a part of growing up" quite often from now until 30 or so, but in reality this only matters IF you stay true to yourself. So what does "stay true to yourself" even mean? Well, for me it represents that core of beliefs that you hold dear. These beliefs come from your belief in God, your respect for other individuals, your unyielding love for your country, and your close ties to family and friends.

Be attentive and respectful to those opinions voiced by not only persons who share your views, but by those who have completely different points of view. In fact, seek out those who come from different places who might have different accents, skin color, political beliefs or religion. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your teachers or professors, but also understand the difference between fact and opinion. Don't allow educators to rattle your beliefs with their personal opinions.

Other ideas and suggestions...

Never allow "school to get in the way of your education." My father told me this in Fall of 1986 before I left for college. I didn't understand what he meant until recently as I now understand "education" to be life's experiences and lessons.
Be courteous, kind and forgiving. Always hold the door for a lady (even when you know she won't say thank you), smile and keep your head held high, and don't hold grudges.
Enjoy your youth, but understand that the years that you expect full income tax refunds on 4/15 are the years to be building for your future via education or training.
When you find the right woman, let her chose the curtains. Even if they're black, purple and orange with dancing monkeys, just nod your head in agreement.
Don't ever let government take away your freedoms. You have the right to voice your opinion. You have the right to assembly. You have the right to own a gun. Remember, the United States is comprised of individuals, natural resources and priceless places, NOT its government.
Be proud of your accomplishments, but not boastful.
Learn from your failures. This is one of the most common attributes of successful people.
Live for the now, plan for the future, and study the past.
Look no further than your own family or community for a role model. I'll give you the first one, your Mom. She can't dunk a basketball, but she does Okay!

Alec, as I close...please know that I love you. Take care of your family (especially your sisters). Don't ever let anyone take away your dreams or say that your opinions don't matter. Aspire to be the best at the career of your choosing. Be passionate and be strong young man!

Your R.E. Dad

I have returned.

2009-03-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm back. My absence from the Blogosphere seems like months comparable to the time between the first day of a college course and finals week. Crap, why did I skip class the entire semester? What's going to be on the finals? Did we have a term paper? Ok, it ain't quite as bad as this recurring nightmare, but part of me feels like I have to start over, reinvent myself, go back to square one, reevaluate why I'm doing what I'm doing (& why I'm doing it).

Honestly, up until yesterday I was heavily leaning towards pulling the plug on my blog. I had spent an incredible kidless holiday with Mom MD cruising Southern Florida in a convertible (top down, of course). I had been reading a fantastic book titled "Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff about his son's meth addiction. I had an opportunity to see three very different, but incredibly moving movies while in Florida - "Taken", "Gran Torino", and "Revolutionary Road." I had the privilege of attending my first spring training game at the home of my beloved St. Louis Cardinals, fly first class (cashed in mega-miles for this one), and eat native Floridian stone crab at a world famous restaurant in South Miami Beach. This was our second extended kidless romp since the triplets were born.

I documented some of my experiences in FL via mobile Facebook technology so friends/family could see what I was doing on my vacation. When I returned home my Mom mentioned an article that those who have the ability to travel often don't talk about it because perhaps they're embarrassed or don't want others to feel badly that they can't go on vacations as a result of the down economy. This bothered me on multiple levels, but specifically let me address two.

First of all, I know that my true friends (& even extended friends and newly reacquainted high school and college friends from Facebook) and of course, relatives are interested in where I go, and what I'm doing (as I am with them). Secondly, we all know that life is fleeting. Quality of this space in time from birth to death depends on some circumstances we can control and some we can't. Job loss, personal injury or death of a relative or friend, for example, can happen at anytime putting one in a world of physical, emotional and even spiritual pain.

I wholeheartedly believe in "Carpe Diem." Mom MD in her own style taught me to live beyond what's happening next month or in the distant future, but to embrace the present and take advantage of what's available today. When I arrived home after vacation, I couldn't wait to see my children (or kidlets as Mom MD might say). They are my life and everything else is secondary. This includes blogging.

I've decided to continue blogging as long as my visitors will have me. I probably just won't do as many entries. I know that friends and relatives stop by occasionally, but don't comment on the blog. I have had feedback via e-mail or on Facebook from friends saying that "you never know who might visit your blog" or that they "look forward to my next entry." I appreciate that. By the way, in the Blogsphere, we refer to you as "lurkers" which doesn't sound too good, but don't take this to heart. I love you anyway :)

Last Chance Workout

2009-02-27T14:09:00.002-08:00

I bet no one saw this chicken wing coming. I'm a huge "Biggest Loser" follower. What I mean is that I'm a fan of the show, not overweight. I watch the peacock network at 8 P.M. (7 Central) every Tuesday. I blame Mom MD for grabbing the rib and making me try it. Often times, we'll order out, make mixed drinks and plant ourselves on the couch in anticipation of watching sadistic trainers working out the hungry contestants until they toss their cookies. Oh yeah, and sometimes we pick up useful workout or eating tips.

Speaking of "Loser", today was my Last Chance Workout at Cal Fit prior to our childless Sunshine State vacation next week. Mom MD and I had vowed to eat smarter in '09 which meant less drinking, no desserts, fewer carbs, more fruits and veggies, etc. In a nutshell, we'd make better food choices one meal at a time reducing calories and hopefully over time lose some poundage.

Unfortunately, somewhere in between Valentine's chocolate and my birthday cake (had to buy that very tasty, but extremely large sheet cake from Costco for ONLY $16.99), we fell off the "eat smarter in '09" wagon. Ouch, I swear it was like being hit on the melon and forgetting how to do everything!

Like the Last Chance Workout on "Loser" where the contestants huff, puff and nearly expire immediately before the final weigh-in for the week, I was at MY Last Chance Workout this morning prior to hitting Miami Beach in a couple days. My hope was to melt away a couple pounds of butter and maybe be closer to bathing suit worthy (OK, I've never been remotely close to bathing suit worthy even when I was a much younger cracker jack).

After I'd exhausted every ounce of energy during my Last Chance Workout, I decided to hang out in the dry sauna for awhile and test my knowledge of TV on my IPOD'S IQUIZ trivia game. Speaking of....how the hell did I know that Sophia from the "Golden Girls" was born in Cicily, but I didn't know the two dates on "Friends" when Chandler broke-up with Janice? Anyway, after several trivia failures I decided to take a page out of Mom MD's book and do some sauna eavesdropping.

Two guys/One young lady (in their 20's) were discussing what they'd been up to lately including piercings, tattoos, and job prospects. One guy mentioned that he was attending some type of paramedic school on Saturdays. What he said next almost made me choke on my gum, stop pretending to play Trivia and say something like what the f#$k?

He said he hated needles (made him faint to get a shot) and couldn't stand the sight of blood (made him squeamish and practically faint to have blood drawn). He then mentioned that he hoped to eventually get over it. Uh, dude, young man or whatever....you don't get over this stuff.....either you can handle it or you can not handle it....are you effen crazy? R.E. Dad has the same issues. Don't waste your time. Teach or become a CPA. Anything else.

I say this in all honesty....I probably would have gone into medicine (of some kind) had I NOT been like the young man in the sauna and of course been way more intelligent! I'm not going to call him a "Loser" because he's trying to discover the right career path and perhaps I'm wrong & he will overcome his issues. Good luck my young friend and hey at least you and your friends were bathing suit worthy! Savour your youth.

What the triplets were saying this weekend......

2009-02-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

Vivi - as she stands up in the bathtub with washcloth in hand and an arm up in the air "I'm going to wash my pits."

Alec - as he stands naked in the bathroom about to step into the tub "My wanky doodle is going to grow and hit the ceiling" (don't ask me how we started calling "it" a wanky doodle).

Julia - as she's about to place a second doughnut on her plate with Mom MD inquiring as to the necessity of an extra hunk of fried fat & sugar "Well Mom, I'm going to share this one with myself."

In no way could I possibly make these up.

Dad Chokes Under Pressure

2009-02-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

Today was THAT day in the life of my oldest child. A right of passage so to speak for the elementary school student. Yes, today Bren's 5th grade class had the S-E-X talk. Mom MD and I were under the impression that the discussion (for girls) would deal with the menstrual cycle and various products required to meet those demands for "that time of the month." You can see that I'm NOT in my comfort zone here, so bear with me.

Here's a excerpt from our conversation as I picked her up from school.

Bren: "I had a good day"
R.E. Dad: "Good, glad to hear it...let's go get some yogurt"
Bren: Pulls out "the package" of female health products
R.E. Dad: "Oh, you had your health talk today.....how did it go?"
Bren: "Great, but they also told us how babies are made....SO GROSS"
R.E. Dad: Caught way off guard and making a face "Ewwww"
Bren: "Dad, if you think that it's so gross, why do you do it with Mom?"
R.E. Dad: Gulp...."So how was the rest of your day?"

From the movie Die Hard..........."Oh my God the quarterback is Toahst"
From the arcade game Pacman, the sound Pacman makes when he gets caught.
From a famous Billy Joel song "Pressure"

Now I could go on and on. I could discuss some of the biggest chokes in sports history like Phil Mikelson in the 2006 U.S. Open, the New York Yankees in the 2004 ALCS or almost every Sacramento King game this year. I won't.

This time R.E. Dad choked. I take full responsibility and I guarantee one thing.......it will happen again!

"Random Thoughts" by R.E. Daddy

2009-02-18T13:37:00.000-08:00

The two week fog preventing yours truly from meaningful blogging creativity lifted yesterday morning. Oh, thank heaven for small favors! Even though I was unceremoniously awakened by the swift dragging of door on carpet and the subsequent swooshing of two little feet, I had already reached the pinnacle of the morning's dream..........euphoria!......

Just so we're clear, I'm a few days shy of 41, NOT 14. I'm actually alluding to that high school fantasy all too common among guys on the downside of 18. Again, STAY FOCUSED! This is the "sports" dream. The setting was as follows: Varsity basketball game, packed house, coach puts me in down by a few points.....I'm so pumped up, I'm able to run, I'm able to jump, I'm able to dunk, I'm looking into the stands, I'm feeding on the noise, I'm scoring in bunches, I'm reliving a time and place that happened to ....... someone (not me).....but I'm in a fantastic place nonetheless. Great dream!

Speaking of being "pumped up", later that morning I'm at the gym doing my cardio while watching A-Rod's press conference. In A-Rod's words... "I was young and stupid..I was young and stupid...I was young and stupid." Relative terminology aside.....DUH! Any suggestions as to what R.E. Daddy can use as an excuse for his screw-ups? I suppose that I'm too young for a "senior moment?" How about I label my shortcomings as an acute case of "tripletitis?"

Next time Alex, consider using "Stupid is as stupid does" from the movie "Forrest Gump." What a fantastic flick which, by the way, won an Oscar for best film in 1994. Do you recall the other famous line that holds a prominent place in mid-90's pop culture? Tick Tock...Tick Tock.. Correct! "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get."

Metaphorically speaking...quite thought provoking. What if you had an expert to advise you on the contents of each piece of chocolate so you would know which to chose and which to leave. I know such an expert. Mom MD worked for See's Candies for a couple years during college. To this day, "the candy nurse" can give a detailed description of each and every piece with 100% accuracy. I'm amazed at how much she knows about candy and also about cars.

Speaking of cars......Mom MD has wanted a new car for the past year. She believes that she was duped last summer when we traded in the minivan that I had been driving for a new Honda Pilot that I am now driving. She was left driving the "old" '04 Acura TSX. It's a long story which I'll reserve for a later blog. Suffice to say, she believes a car should reflect your personality and be fun to drive. To me a car is a means to get from point A to point B. I will admit satellite radio is pretty darn cool though.

Speaking of being duped....Don't you think "American Idol's" Tatiana Nicole Del Toro was totally hosed? Actually, NO I don't think so, but I will say that Mom MD and I like the new format of three groups of 12 totalling 36. What do you think? AI still hasn't "jumped the shark" in my book.

Speaking of jumping the shark....what is with "Grey's Anatomy?" The Izzie seeing Denny episodes were ridiculous. I get it that the reason is most likely caused by a brain aneurysm, but please let's conclude the storyline , and for Pete's sake, why did they have to get physical?

Speaking of ridiculous....I'm heading in that direction...I better skedaddle for now....Thanks for staying focused and reading my random thoughts.........more to follow, maybe!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-11T16:28:00.000-08:00

Oh my, can you say "Cooperation?" Grandma J gave the triplets an early Valentine's Day gift last evening....a 35-piece "Wild Animals" puzzle. I was so amazed at how well they divided and conquered (with no shouting, hitting, biting or trips to the "naughty chair") that I decided to take a picture to mark the occasion.....Good job - V, A & J!

Recent happenings and Facebook is "Electronic Crack"

2009-02-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

I refuse to let a whole week pass by without adding at least a little something to my blog. After such a creative, well thought-out and researched entry like "The Melman", I honestly believed that I couldn't get much higher. I'm kidding, of course. In fact the other day I read an incredible entry by A Free Man that discussed human evolution and theories as to why the modern human survived and the Neanderthal perished. The two actually co-existed in Europe for a few thousand years. Weren't the Neanderthal greater in stature with larger cranial capacity?

Other updates include....

Career: I've been "at home" now for a year and a half. I received a call a few weeks back from my former supervisor back East who said that the company is interested in bringing in additional underwriters to work from home as volume has increased substantially in recent months. She didn't have all the details, but asked that I submit my resume (which I have done). This would be a full-time/temporary position....I'll keep you updated, but this would be a major change.

Personal: I'm still married to Mom MD. Bren remains the sweet, but sassy almost 11-year old who recently taught herself how to ride a bike, and is now rehearsing for the school play "Aladdin." The triplets bring us so much joy. They are at a fantastic age and we will be registering them for Kindergarten in two weeks!

Fun: Mom MD and I went to the Sacramento Kings game last Friday and had a fantastic time watching the Kings retire Chris Webber's #4! Low expectations for the current team...they played well, but LOST....no worries, just positioning themselves for a low lottery pick in June!

Neighborhood: It appears that our gay neighbors were victims of a hate crime. Some jackass poured some type of noxious chemical over a large portion of their front lawn. Haz mat came to investigate as the fumes were terrible. This is sick and inexcusable.

Electronic crack: Facebook IS "Electronic Crack" as often stated by a friend. You simply can't help yourself whether searching for a friend, uploading new pictures, chatting or joining a new group. In fact I've gone back to FB at least four times since the beginning of this entry. The fun never ends!

That is all......now back to Facebook.

The Melman - Life's little irritant.

2009-02-04T16:10:00.000-08:00

I'm going to pick on Melman from the movie "Madagascar" or as the triplets say "outta gas car." He's the annoying as crap little toy giraffe that was included in Mickey D Happy Meals a couple of months back.

If you've boycotted McDonald's, don't have kids or can get away with just ordering off the $1 menu (lucky you), here's the story. Some genius in the promo department working with a toy manufacturer in China developed and built (in mass quantities) Melman and his fellow zoo escapees to speak (presumably lines from the movie Madagascar II).

These tiny plastic monsters have an internal sensor that blurts out drivel when touched, moved or shaken. The first time is cute, but within about 30 seconds the novelty expires (10 seconds with triplets, do the math). Upon arriving home, the toys scatter ending up in various baskets or boxes, under a bed or in the doll house.

Fast forward to this morning. I'll tell you now that I'm generally easy going and have a ton of patience. In the case of the kids, many times I'm able to tune them out (usually by singing or simply going in the other room, closing the door and watching TV). OK, I don't do the latter too often. Anyway, over the course of the last two months while picking up and throwing toys into baskets throughout the house, a Melman has belted out his three infamous lines "What are we going to do?"...."OW OW OW!"...."You really need a doctor!" Today I snapped!

Do you have "Melmans" in your life? Maybe it's a flickering fluorescent light under a kitchen cabinet, an alarm that goes off everyday at 1PM somewhere in the house, or a pile of junk in your closet that you have to step around just to get to your clothes. These minor irritants are mine actually, but I haven't snapped (at least not at the time of this posting).

So what did I do with all the Melmans? I found four in the house. Well, I had corralled them and was heading for the trash compactor when I discovered a small on/off switch on their tiny bellies.....damn, was it really this simple? Moral of the story, don't let your minor irritants or "Melmans" get the best of you. Look, listen and take action. Sometimes the solution is simpler than you realize.............Best of luck.

English slang (American-style)

2009-02-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

**Attention Kids - this entry is intended for mature audiences - so "bug off!"

I can't resist mentioning this topic anymore. After twisting lyrics to songs and turning impersonal license plates to personalized, nothing pervades my little Reinventing Daddy mind like English slang...American-style. I realize other English speaking corners of the world maintain their own lists of slang, but these lists are not mutually exclusive and we in the U.S. have adopted (or attempted to adopt) these words and phrases as our own. Who wishes we had already incorporated "shagged" into our vernacular? I do. It seems so descriptive, so non-clinical, and not so completely vulgar.

Slang has been around almost as long as English has been around, a byproduct of a time and place, a fad and often times created by a class or subculture. For example in 1950's Minneapolis, a passage in my Dad's yearbook might read "Paul, we had a gay time this year. You are a swell fellow." Fast forward to the present, the 2009 interpretation would be FAR different than the 50's (not that there is anything wrong with that). I can't laugh because my yearbook (from the 80's) would be outdated as well "Damon, we had an ultra-bitchin' year. You're an awesome dude."

HMMM, o-kay. So, what about the ESL people? How did you learn English? Did you learn proper English first and then add the slang to your vocabulary as you went along? Is there nearly the abundance of slang in your native language? Give me your opinion and insight as I'm very curious to know the types of issues you have faced trying to learn English. Has the proliferation of slang been one such obstacle?

What if you yelled "Ouch, did you see how hard John knocked-up Larry at midfield?" Don't you see how one tiny slip-up on opposites (learned by a 2-year old in the U.S.) can affect meaning? Another spectator within an earshot might not understand your attempt at slang and "kick your butt." Seriously, "heads-up" as slang can lead to trouble (e.g. slang pertaining to street drugs or gangs).

Beyond trying to list slang terminology for the act of vomiting, I'll pick a place like....the tool bench, the garden or the kitchen to discover slang which is often derogatory, vile or related in some way to drug/alcohol abuse or sex....I'm not going to lie, these are some of the funniest. What twisted person first rummaged through a kitchen in search of cooking terms to describe someone who was high on drugs (baked, fried, or toasted).

OK for fun - see how many slang terms you can find in the following couple sentences and just for kicks I'm mixing terms from different time periods and keeping it clean......"What a far-out idea, but it's baloney daddy-o. Lay off the sauce pronto piker. Crackass commodores despite the razzmatazz are like totally hyped geek and not worth a Benjamin."

Cirque du Stoneridge

2009-01-30T12:32:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone - Here's Brenna singing "This is Me" by Demi Lovato last evening at her school's talent show. I admire her courage to get up in front of both her school Wednesday and the parents on Thursday night. She made the triplets, Mom MD, Grandpa G, Grammy K, and Grandma J so proud!

BTW - She confessed to ordering "Steel Magnolias" - so she's watching it this afternoon (she's home sick today)....OH, unfortunately for her, but very fortunate for me, the audio isn't working (probably due to widespread scratches on the DVD - gotta wonder how they get there?).....so consequently she's now watching in silence using subtitles. Yes, I'm being merciful...they're in English.

Questions to ponder while wondering why it took so long for the FDA to track and control this Salmonella outbreak (Mom Md and I ONLY ate 6 PB Clif Bars and the kids at 4 PB ZBARS), what kind of irresponsible medical party would allow eight embryos to be implanted back into a women who already has six kids under 7?? eight embryos, that's absolutely nuts!

Steel Magnolias in my queue???

2009-01-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

Ok, I need to know, who the heck put "Steel Magnolias" at the top of my queue?

This is absolutely one of the cruelest tricks you can play on a guy. I intentionally moved "Hancock" to the top just the other day as I wanted to play it on my new Blu-Ray this weekend. Now I'm stuck as Netflix has already sent me THAT e-mail stating "for Thursday" here comes a smooshy gooshy chick flick.....so let's list the suspects....

Bren - Most likely - She occasionally taps into my Netflix account to search new DVDs and likes to add such hits as the "Cheetah Girls" and "HS Musical Uno, Dos and Tres." The fact that she chose a grown-up movie makes it less likely, but perhaps she heard about this "movie" from an older female friend or relative.

Mom MD - Slightly less likely - She rarely goes into my queue, but I know she likes this type of movie. After I rented "Leatherheads" and "The House Bunny" I suppose she has good cause to question my choice of flicks.

Both - Possible - I can't rule this out. Once in awhile, they do talk and agree on something.

A triplet - Not possible - The little ones don't know how to use the computer.

Reinventing Dad - Uh, NO way, Impossible - not even in my weakest hour.

I wanted to point out to the person or persons responsible for this outrageous act that I have "Mamma Mia" and "Vicky Christina Barcelona" in the queue (& near the top I might add). I also did sit and watch the Hallmark made-for-TV movie "Loving Leah" last Sunday even though I know I could have found something more educational on the Science or History Channels!

So this is a house mystery like the case of the broken Pottery Barn clock a few years back (no ONE confessed). This time, however, I believe with fewer suspects, we will know the truth real soon - I'll let you know.

Taylor the Latte Boy

2009-01-27T13:49:00.000-08:00

Let's take a break from my daily ramblings, order a hot beverage, sit down in a comfortable chair and relax to a tender performance sung by Kristin Chenoweth dedicated to "Taylor the Latte Boy." I first heard this poem/song performed in a cruise talent show by a young lady who did a fantastic job....Click on the link below...Enjoy.

"Taylor the Latte Boy"

I'm Joe Consumer, please do NOT discount me!

2009-01-26T13:20:00.000-08:00

Pssst....hey....hi....over here....yes, I'm talking to the retailer and service oriented businesses throughout the vast reaches of Recessionville. My name is Joe Consumer which is not to be confused with Jane or in some cases, John Consumer. Nope, Jane sends her love, wishes you well and hopes to see you soon, but she's very busy. Therefore, I've been entrusted with perusing the aisles, comparing your wares, and bringing home all things consumable.

I'm not trying to frighten, but to enlighten, so listen up as I'd like to help you and your business stay afloat in these troubled waters. What can I offer you ask? Who the heck am I? Does what I say really matter? I'm going to respond with an emphatic "YES". I'm Joe Consumer, hear me roar..... or at least listen to me offer bits of advice that may help your business.

Let me start by saying that I've been infiltrating your retail and service establishments for years. Unlike my father, I'm not just about shopping for cars, electronics and sports equipment. I actually....drum roll please.......shop for groceries, toiletries, clothes and other household supplies. In fact, unlike my grandfather, I probably know how to cook, clean, and wash clothes (all at least to a certain extent). I don't mean any disrespect to previous generations......traditional roles have dramatically evolved in recent years requiring everyone to broaden his/her knowledge and skills.

So do you know who I am? I think you've seen me around. I'm the guy cruising the produce aisle at Safeway comparing Fiji to Roma apples or wandering through the kids department at Target deciding if my 4 year-old girl should have a size 5T or 5 in crop pants. I'm making hundreds of household buying decisions every year deciding who gets a share of the ever decreasing discretionary dollar, so please do NOT discount me....listen to what I have to say! Jane isn't going to be able to bail you out! These are my suggestions.

Teach your employees to know the product(s). Best Buy over any other big-box electronic retailer hires and trains employees to know their product and talk to you at a level you can understand from novice to expert.
Friendly customer service representatives - Starbucks rarely fails to meet my expectations of at least a kind greeting before I order my Nonfat Latte.
Be Consistent - Each and every time I walk into Safeway or Target, I know that I'm going to get a clean store, fair prices and good customer service.
Blow me away - no do NOT shoot me....do something positive that I don't expect like additional interesting facts about a product, a discount or a piece of gum.

Things to avoid.

Don't insult my intelligence or talk down to me.
Don't be pushy or try to "up sell"
Leave me alone, I'll come to you when I have further questions or make a decision.
Clutter....Clutter....Clutter...I can't stand clutter (except in my own home, of course, as I'm used to it).

Here are things that I can not understand in general. Perhaps this is a universal problem and not unique to my neck of the woods.

Why do sales people follow me around? This is especially true at Furniture Stores. It's CREEPY with a capital "C"
Haven't electronic and automobile sellers learned by now that we will decide when we want to buy extended warranties...(side note-I've spoken with repairmen on this issue and they've said that they personally will buy the extended warranty if it's a new model from an existing company or a new technology from any manufacturer less than 5 years old).
When a restaurant advertises in the newspaper....why not give me a coupon...I probably know that lunches start at $5.95.
Why are casinos so smokey? In California, less than 25% of the population smokes, but the non-smokers are usually given a tiny room off to the side...don't they know that if they provided larger non-smoking areas, perhaps we non-smokers would be more likely to show up?....and we have more $ because we don't spend $ on cigarettes...duh!
Movie theaters? May if they sold a small drink for $1.50 instead of $4.25, they'd sell 3x as many? Do the math.
Sports arenas - The Sacramento Kings are averaging between 10K and 11K fans per game (capacity is around 17k)...why not start heavily discounting or giving away tickets, at least they'd get $ for parking, food and maybe souvenirs...........

OK, Joe has said his peace...any questions? Please comment and I'll answer.

Go (Arizona) Cardinals and Kurt

2009-01-23T13:37:00.000-08:00

We interrupt this blog for an important sports update - The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. I repeat the Arizona Cardinals are heading to Tampa, FL to battle the favored Pittsburgh Steelers!

Ok, so this is old news. Yep, but it's taken 5 days for this to sink into my head. The Chicago/St. Louis/Arizona football Cardinals have NOT been to a football championship since 1948. They are the football equivalent of baseball's Chicago Cubs. Since 1920, their record is 478-669-39 w/NO championships...........YIKES!

Where am I going with this? First of all, for those outside Pittsburgh who don't know which team to root for in the Super Bowl, please look no further than the Arizona Cardinals...they are the UNDERDOGS, and the feel good sports story of '09. During the regular season campaign, they were 9-7, dubbed the worst team ever to win their division, and were 0 for the East Coast including a major spanking vs. the Patriots. The former "Big Red" were given no chance of beating the Falcons, Panthers or Eagles in the playoffs, but they did.

Need another reason? What about wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, the former water boy of the Minnesota Vikings? He was inspired to work harder at his craft to become the consummate professional he is today.

Ok, again I have to talk about Kurt Warner. In a previous entry I discussed Heroes, role models and diversions. Well, this 37-year old man who will be the third oldest quarterback to ever start a Super Bowl game epitomizes role model. His rise from grocery store stock boy to professional quarterback was the feel good story of Fall 1999 when he was a part of the ''Greatest Show on Turf." The St. Louis Rams scored in buckets on route to an improbable victory in Super Bowl XXXIV.

Kurt and his wife Brenda's story beyond football is not only fascinating, but inspiring. There is an old passage being sent around the Internet that is not completely accurate, so I double-checked with snopes.com and have provided an accurate summation of their lives (which is MUCH MUCH better).

Finally, for those in St. Louis...let's look beyond Bidwell's famous 1987 bolt to Arizona. Let's root for the underdogs as the Rams were in 2000. If you can't see yourself to root for the (football) Cardinals franchise, let's pull for Kurt whose real life story tugs at our hearts!

76 Little Known Facts about Me

2009-01-21T11:14:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by cw2smom to write down some random facts about myself that most of you don't know. Of course, I'm throwing out the givens that I have triplets and my wife is an MD.

Here goes nothing....and I really mean nothing!

1. I was considered my parent's second child after "Chad" the three-year old gray miniature poodle.

2. I was very attached to Chad and after he fell off the balcony at our cabin at age 16 (he was blind), my Mom and I cried for hours while my Dad took him to the vet to have him put to sleep.

3. I was an only child with ONLY two imaginary friends who I won't name in case they decide to randomly "Google" themselves in hopes of finding me.

4. My earliest memory is 4. I was on the teeter tooter part of an old style swing set with my "girlfriend" when a neighbor kid squirted me with a hose. I fell off and the larger bench-type swing sliced the inside of my upper arm. NO stitches, just a lot of bandaids & Bactine baby!

5. I never became friends with the kid who squirted me with the hose.

6. That girlfriend of mine and I soon broke-up....I don't even remember her name, but my Mom might.

7. As a child, I didn't like candy. In fact, after Halloween trick-or-treating my Dad pretty much polished off all my candy.

8. What I loved was Donuts and cheese (not at the same time). Both came from my Grandma Edie who picked up the donuts at Albertsons, and the cheese that was given to seniors.

9. My Mom and I learned about a new revolutionary food called the quesadilla from the Hispanic grocer at Champs Supermarket on Balsam Street. This became the primary destination for our free cheese.

10. I loved my Grandma Edie. She rode her bike to our house daily. She played games with me and taught me pinochle and scrabble. She was a great cook. When my parents dragged me to the big city of Bakersfield, she would ride along and we'd spend the afternoon sampling food at Hickory Farms and she'd always buy me a matchbox car and soft ice cream cone.

11. The only two fights I had with Grandma were over locking her out of the house (I was 13) and when she thought I had friends over to drink when my parents were out of town (I was 19)

12. I hated my third grade teacher. She was an evil witch who favored the girls and played insane mind games with the boys.

13. I played youth soccer, basketball and baseball as a child, but only played basketball in high school

14. I won two free throw contests, but my coaches never liked the way a shot the ball?

15. I contracted chickenpox 3x. The third time was on my 17th birthday and caused me to miss high school baseball tryouts which still stands as one of my more memorable disappointments as a young person.

16. At the time, I honestly thought I might die of chickenpox. To this day, I don't even like to talk about it.

17. I attempted three instruments (piano, guitar and trumpet), but none of them took

18. Trumpet was by far my favorite. In fact I pictured myself doing the solo on Barry Manilow's disco hit "Copacabana"

19. The very first girl that I went "steady" with in six grade was named "Kama."...sounds like a good omen of things to come, but not really.

20. The first girl who ever kissed me (my story) is deceased.

21. I have had three cats in my life (one in high school, one in college and one as a older adult).... Every name started with a "B" - Beethoven, Buddy and Baby.

22. I loved them all equally - Beethoven was a lover and a fighter, Buddy was just a fighter, and Baby was just a lover.

23. When I went to take my driver's license written test I was given the adult version and easily passed.

24. When the DMV clerk realized that I'd been given the wrong test, she made me take the brand new provisional test with statistics and crap, so I failed!

25. I have only been pulled over by the police 1x and this was when a guy in a similar red VW bug was cruising elementary schools and talking to children....I was in school and had proof!

26. In college, I gained 40 lbs which isn't so bad considering it was six years.

27. I went to Chico State with one of my best friends. We decided that we didn't want to be roommates our freshman year, but did want to live in the same dorm....we ended up across the hall.

28. I was a Journalism major for one semester.

29. I wasn't Greek, but I did join two clubs during college - "GDI" and "Men Against Rape" - what the heck?

30. My girlfriend was President of her sorority, so I was dubbed "first man" by my roommates.

31. My roommates and I never learned Rule #1 for hosting a kegger, never go out and get a second keg after 11PM.

32. Not one time was I given the responsibility to tap the keg and therefore never learned how to.

33. During college, a friend of a roommate's girlfriend knew a guy who played in a band. He'd come over on occasion and strum out "Big Balls" which I'd sing to.

34. A GDI morning Olympic event, followed by a few hours of sleep, followed by a night of bar hopping was the ONLY time that I can say that I was drunk twice in the same day (like a day/night doubleheader for you baseball fans).

35. I was always attracted to "achievers." Those coed's who had no time for anything but studying, internships, volunteering, sororities, etc. Most of the time, they didn't have time for me either.

36. I married one of them.

37. In college, my favorite TV show was "Unsolved Mysteries"

38. I never drank coffee until I was well into my 20's.....during finals week my roommates would say "I'm going to start a pot of coffee"...I'd say "what for?" I wonder why I could never stay awake.......This was way before the era of coffee shops.

39. I worked at a pet store for a couple years during college.

40. I helped my good friend get a job there and he didn't know anything about animals...the other side of that story was that he got me a landscaping job one summer for the city and I didn't know anything about anything!

41. I was entrusted to euthanize a bird one time and was told the best way to accomplish this was putting it in a plastic bag and sticking the bag around an exhaust pipe...it worked!

42. For wild rats stuck on a sticky platform (trap), I was told to put them upside down in a hot bucket of water...it worked too!

43. One time while baby sitting a co worker's 11 foot Burmese Python which was allowed to run lose in the store, I became distracted and it moved very quickly and ate a rabbit...thank heavens we didn't have any puppies or kittens at the time!

44. I was kicked out of the Madison Bear Garden one time for ordering a vodka collins which turned out to be a greyhound which I then thought the bartender was giving away for free since he messed up....wrong!

45. Since college I have had seven employers (all in mortgage)...only three are still in existence and I bet you've heard of two of them - GMACM and Citigroup.

46. I've lived in three states/three time zones.

47. I sing when I'm stressed.

48. I can't carry a tune to save my life.

49. I can't dance either, but I love "So You Think You can Dance"

50. I people watch and try to see which celebrity someone mostly resembles...for example Diana Taurasi, Kristy McNichol and Bernie from "Weekend at Bernies" all go to my gym.

51. I look at standard state issued license plates and try to make them into personalized license plates....like what do you think CA's "4YOR411" means?

52. I believe that the Swivel Sweeper, DVR's and IPOD's are the best household inventions in the past 10 years.

53. I have 100% success playing Yahoo Fantasy Baseball, I've won 2x.

54. My favorite type of food is Mexican.

55. My favorite food is Filet Mignon.

56. My favorite beer is Anchor Steam.

57. My favorite restaurant is Mikuni (although I've never dined there, just take out).

58. I've sprained each ankle 1x.

59. I've had two surgeries in my life time (wisdom teeth and a back).

60. I have only been to one professional basketball, baseball or football game in the past 5 years.

61. I have learned more about myself in the past 2 years than I did in the previous 30-something. **** I'm running out of space, but I'll add a few more*******

62. Three of my favorite movies are "Footloose", "Grease" and "Chicago" - the ONLY conclusion you may draw is that I like MUSICALS!

63. I don't like elevators (been stuck in a few) or overhead lights (especially at 1A in the bars).

64. I don't like to gamble, but I love to play games especially Chess, Balderdash and Trivial Pursuit.

65. My wife and I are a killer Trivial Pursuit team.

66. I love Gin and Tonics....shall we Tangueray?

67. I love to read about American History.

68. I watch the History channel, but think the newer programming especially "Ice Road Truckers" is lame as sh#$!t.

69. I know what TV phenomena started 8/1/81....do you?

70. I was disappointed when Barry Bonds broke Mark McGwire's single season home run record, but hey - they were probably both juiced...........

71. I fell in love with St. Louis when we lived there from 1996 to 2000. What a beautiful city with so much to do and see....long live A-B.

72. My Mom's current age and sadly my only living parent or grandparent.

73. I knew ALL four of my grandparents, but none of my great grandparents....the first one passed away when I was 10, the last one died when I was 33.

74. I always wonder what my Dad would have said about 9/11...he died in 2000.

75. I believe people the main difference between people on the East Coast and people on the West Coast....is that a person on the East Coast will drive the wrong way in a parking lot to beat you to a spot, but kindly hold the door for you as you walk into the store and talk to you in the elevator....a person on the West Coast will politely offer you the parking spot, but is more likely to ignore you and let the door slam in your face on the way into the store.

76. Not one of my four favorite professional sports teams have finished better than 4th this year.....so I'm not in a good place right now and usually read the sports page after the obits!

OK, that's enough...I can't stand it anymore....I'm stopping at 76 which seems like plenty......I'm wondering if Barack Obama had any time on his first day to jot down some unknown facts about himself......probably not.

The 44th President, Barack Obama

2009-01-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

"Barack....Barack Obama....President Barack Obama." I continually repeated his name until it rolled off my tongue as I sat transfixed to the TV watching the inauguration proceedings unfold in our Nation's capital. In the midst of the weekday morning folly immediately preceding imminent departure to institutions of lower learning, I found myself oblivious to the typical commotion around me until my 4-year old son, Alec came up to me and asked what I was watching.

I told him that I was watching a defining moment in history as "we the people" of the United States of America were about to swear in our 44th President. He asked me what his name was and I told him. He practiced it a few times and put it to memory....I then told him that he was a decent man, a man of character and would work very hard to make our country a better place. I asked him again, what's our new President's name. "Barrack Obama" he said.

At that point, it was time to depart for school at 8:30A (thank heavens for DVR's. I was able to pause live TV and view the swearing-in and outstanding speech a little later). On our way out the door, Alec asked "Daddy, will he ever come visit our house?" I said "Alec, I would be honored to have him visit the Rileys of Roseville."

** Update to Post - I couldn't resist adding this to my original post as Alec's thoughts are priceless***

Scene: Barack and Michelle Obama at one of the Inaugural Balls this evening.

Reinventing Dad to the triplets...."So who is the guy dancing on stage"

Julia "Barack Obama"

RD "Very Good Ju Ju....so who is he"

Alec "He's the guy who goes golfing all day long"

RD "NO Alec, I believe you're thinking of Tiger Woods....this is Barack Obama, the President of the United States and leader of the free world."

Alec "Yeah, so why does he go golfing everyday then?"

I swear I don't make these things up!

Reinventing Dad's Dad

2009-01-18T20:15:00.000-08:00

Reinventing Dad's Dad is no longer living on God's green Earth, but barely a day goes by when I don't think about him and wish we had more time together both in my childhood and adulthood.

Dad I know how much you adored Brenna and how important it was for you to see that she was baptized. She will remember you through video, pictures and personal testimony from myself, Mom MD and Grandma J. Though Alec, Ju Ju and Vivi were born after you passed away, I can already see some of you in them. By the way, Bren (what Grandma J calls her) takes piano lessons and it's easy to see Alec has an ear for music.

Dad as you can see I'm now unemployed (outside the home), but I enjoy life, family, friends, blogging and have had the opportunity to slow down and appreciate so much more than I ever had before.........

Dad you are gone, but NOT forgotten. I know we'll be together in another time and place.

Your Son

P.S. Mom was over tonight to watch football and sends her love.......

Birthday Parties

2009-01-16T16:02:00.001-08:00

First of all, what a glorious day in Northern California! I believe the mercury hit about 65 degrees F. As you know I refuse to apologize for this or offer sympathy to those in the other 49 states (& let's not forget the D.C. area) as we Californians pay higher taxes in return for 300 + days of sunshine, a savage tan, and additional Vitamin D.

Ok, back to the blog and I promise that this will be shorter and to the point today. HMMM, wait a minute. I'm wondering why I chose the adjacent picture as Alec has a sad look on his face. My best guess is that while we were on the cruise, we told him he couldn't have another dessert.

Anyway, it's one of the more recent pictures we have of the triplets which leads me to my topic. What do you do when all three of your triplets are invited to a birthday party that has two birthday children? This is the case tomorrow and I know what we did, but I'm curious if others handle this quandary in the same manner? Assumption, price per gift is immaterial as total amount of $ spent (for 2 birthday kids combined) is the same whether you purchase 1, 2, 3....x gifts. Therefore, one could spend $1M down to $1. Do you...?

Buy six gifts, wrap them all individually and have each triplet give one gift to each of the two birthday kids?
Buy six gifts, divide them into two bags (one bag for each birthday kid), and give them each a gift bag of three gifts (you may put the "from" for each triplet or just say that each bag of gifts is from all three).
Buy 2 more expensive gifts and label each to one birthday child (from all three triplets).
Buy 1 even more expense gift and label it from the triplets and say it's for both birthday kids to share.
Gift each birthday kid only a card and say you've donated a nice gift in each of their names towards Habitat for Humanity.
None of the above - I have a better idea, dumb dumb.

Let me know what you think...........Mom MD and I had a short debate about this topic (she won), but I'm curious to see what others do in this circumstance. I suppose the scenario doesn't have to be triplets to singletons...it could be quads to twins...or singletons to quints...or just X siblings to X other kids.......in any case, there must be some commonly used formula! Anybody know it?

Here's to: Heroes - remember in a previous entry I couldn't cite a specific living hero....well, here's one.........Chelsey B. Sullenberger III, the pilot of the U.S. Airways jet that successfully landed in the Hudson River saving all 155 lives. His dedication to his craft, expertise, preparation and ability to make a decision under extreme duress is not only remarkable and honorable, but a testament to all that is good on Mother Earth.

NOT dat one Daddy!

2009-01-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

Most mornings before dawn I'm awaken to the pitter patter of little feet traipsing across the bedroom carpet towards Mom MD's armchair situated in the sitting area opposite the TV. The figure sighs, pulls up the blanket, sighs again...and after a few moments says "Daddy, can you turn on da TV?" I know this little voice very well. It's our middle triplet with the slight New England accent....Ju Ju.

What cracks up Mom MD and is kinda cute (if you're a spectator) are the moments immediately following her request. Groggy, I fumble and bumble around for the remote control which I pray sets on the nightstand. When I find it I quickly hit the power button and wait for the unit to warm up. Ugh, sometimes I swear it's as slow as the old picture tubes!

As soon as the picture appears on screen, inevitably I'll hear those oh so familiar four words "NOT dat one Daddy!" OK, so by now I'm awake as I can ever be prior to my morning cup of Joe. I have to think fast to avoid hearing those words a second, third or fourth time which will most certainly become increasingly louder with a less patient tone. I must find that perfect kids show. Ju Ju isn't going to stand for ESPN or the morning news.

Stay with me now as what seems so simple becomes so complicated. I have to consider two important questions; the time and the day of the week. First, time is easy - I look on the ceiling (we have one of those projection alarm clocks). Secondly, what day is it? Weekdays are easy, Mom MD goes to work. Wait... sometimes she goes in on Saturdays or Sundays. Damn! I'll take an educated guess using high probability that today is most likely a weekday.

Have any of you done this? Be honest. Now, based on the two questions above, I have to find the right channel and kids show with the understanding that there are certain shows she doesn't like such as "Jack's Big Music Show" on Noggin. I know PBS is option #1 as she likes "Between the Lions" at 6:30 and "Maya and Miguel" at 7:00, but what if it's 6:28? Damn!

Slowly I'll punch in the numbers 4-1 for Disney Channel which takes a couple seconds to change channels as the ENTER button doesn't work. Yuck, it's "Imagination Movers" .... "NOT dat one Daddy." Fine, I'll hit the down arrow a couple times....cool Nickelodeon, channel 39. Oh, Damn! Good show, but commercial...."NOT dat one Daddy."

I then proceed to flip channels like the Utah Jazz used to make crisp passes in their triangle offense, but instead of Stockton to Malone, back to Stockton and over to Hornacek (shot/all net)....it's pro channel surfing...117 up to 119 over to 45, down to 41, up to 141......back to 6 (that's PBS), SLAM DUNK "Between the Lions" has started! I'm done.

The day has begun with the "NOT dat one Daddy" game....today I heard the phrase 3x (sometimes I lose count), so I consider this yet another victory for Ju Ju....current score, Ju Ju 100, Reinvent Dad 1. Now all is good in the house. Perhaps I can catch a few more zzzzz's until Alec & Vivi get up and the trio starts the second game of the day "2 Chairs for Triplets Slam Fest." - this game, however, I'm not a participant...I'm the referee.

Here's to: The Sacramento Kings winning in TRIPLE OT last evening to beat No. Cal rivals, Golden State. Hey with a few more wins, perhaps soon they can hurdle over said Warriors and become "Kings of the dip sh#ts" for the NBA Pacific Division....

Reinventing Dad Meme #1

2009-01-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

Kat at 3BedroomBungalow was kind enough to customize an interview or what's known in the blogosphere as a Meme. As you know I'm much more of a list man, but thought that this would be a great exercise for Reinventing Dad....questions, plz...........

1. What is the biggest challenge in parenting triplets?

Breaking them apart, treating them like individuals and giving them Mom, Dad or Grandparent one-on-one time. So much of what they know and who they are comes shining through when the other two are not around to influence what they say and do. All three have such unique personalities and will go in three completely different directions (like singletons do) when given the opportunity.

2. What was your proudest moment?

For myself? In looking back many years, I'd say finally graduating from college. I absolutely struggled in my major coursework because I didn't enjoy what I was studying. Business Admin was NOT for me and the numerous poor grades I received were a huge blow to my self-esteem. I should have gone into education or political science. For the youngsters who read this….IF you absolutely don't know what you want to do…go in "Undeclared"…there is no shame in that.

3. What is your favorite quality about your wife?

She's a "Jill of all Trades." What I mean is that she knows a lot about many things (not a little about a few). She is the smartest person I know with the capability to learn and accomplish anything she sets her mind to do..….if only she had more time. In addition, she's very honest and great in the clutch.

4. If you could have any job in the world what would it be and why?

FBI / White Collar Crime division (if there is one). In my final years as a mortgage underwriter in the ever growing environment of mortgage fraud, I found myself doing junior background checks on almost ALL our prospective borrowers. I actually grew to like it and enjoyed busting the brokers' chops.

5. If you had 24 hours with no kids and no responsibilities what would you do?

I'd drive to San Francisco Saturday afternoon with my wife and meet up with some friends (none of them would be MD's, except Mom MD) and have grown-up conversation for a couple hours over dinner and wine at a fine Italian restaurant. We'd sleep in, have a delicious breakfast, walk around, shop and drive home Sunday afternoon….wait a minute, I just did that last weekend! Tremendously good for the soul I might add.

6. Who is your living hero?

I don't have a specific individual although many exist today. Heroes to me are not only those willing to make sacrifices for others (police, fire, military)….a hero may motivate, mentor or sacrifice his/her time and resources to directly impact a person, a group, or a nation for the betterment of planet Earth.

Spammers are worse than knats!

2009-01-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHh, I can't stand it any longer! How in God's green Earth do I rid my inbox of this incessant spammer, the one who anatomically speaking claims he can make me a much happier and more confident fellow. I've been receiving these e -mails constantly since signing-up for Carnival Wi-Fi a few weeks back.

For you much brighter-than-I computer people...is this how he picked up my e-mail address from an unsecured Wi-fi connection? No, et tu don, it isn't what you're thinking either. I did a little checking around and another possibility was the knat picked it up from an unprotected site that lists my e-mail. I googled and that unprotected site would be my high school alumni website which has become so dormant in the past couple years that I'm not even able to contact the webmaster to make changes to my profile (& ELIMINATE my e-mail address).

What's strange too is that the sender of the e-mail is.....ME, not some funky domain from overseas. To combat these messages from H-E-L-L, I've attempted to move them to my SPAM folder. I've also tried deleting them ASAP, replying with nasty language, and kicking/screaming. On my MAC, I've gone into the message, tried to hit the unsubscribe button and a pop-up appears asking for my name, address, etc. to remove my e-mail from the list.....Uh, I don't think so, I've probably gone too far as it is.

So what do I do? Anyone anyone...Bueller...Bueller? (sorry, I couldn't resist the reference to the 80's smash hit). Further articles say eliminating spam remains low on the government's priority list which I'd normally agree with EXCEPT that it's happening to me.

Can anyone help, and NO I'm not giving out my e-mail address...Comment, please.

Here's to: Kurt Warner piloting the Arizona Cardinals to the NFC Championship game! I wish it was Chris Carpenter pitching the St. Louis Cardinals to the World Series, but you can't have everything...and it's the best football story going on right now....who outside of Philly isn't pulling for the Old Big Red?

Heroes, Role Models and Diversions

2009-01-09T14:36:00.000-08:00

As a young forty-something and father, I have no illusions about the role sports play in daily life. Unlike children, adolescents and even some adults (& you know who you are!), I see professional athletics for what they really are, highly paid entertainers. Following your favorite sports franchise(s) satisfies the desire to create a diversion from the stresses of daily living. This need might also be filled with hobbies such as scrap booking, bird watching or gardening. The difference between a weekend scrapbooker and NBA player, however, is that top athletes are put on pedestals and branded as heroes.

Not to preach, but athletes (like entertainers and actors) are NOT heroes, and most can not even be counted as role models. To the kids out there...a definition of a hero is someone who is willing to put the well-being of another (including strangers) ahead of themselves. Our United States military risks their lives 24/7 for our freedom. Police officers, firefighters, and rescue workers remain on alert for the safety of all Americans. I would also argue a teacher might be hero if he/she has the ability to hold a young person to higher standards of learning and conduct for the betterment of his/her future. Kids may consider a parent a hero, but from a parent's perspective....parenting IS our job and our primary goal is to be our children's primary role model.

So where am I going with all this? From a previous entry I mentioned that I neglected to pick-up trash at the movie theater and was called out by Brenna. The next morning at preschool I pulled up along the red curb (in a light rain mind you with no one else around) to drop the triplets off and Alec said "Daddy, what are you doing? This isn't a parking space." Perhaps, the kids are more alert now that they're getting older. Perhaps, I'm making excuses. Perhaps I should be a better role model!

Back to the zillion dollar sports industry. Yes, most athletics are paid obscene salaries and some behave badly. Can you think of one or two or three, etc.? With that said, I have an enormous THANK YOU to deliver to MY favorite football team that's long overdue. You see back in the fall of 1999, my Dad was fighting a losing battle with colon cancer. In fact, he held on for at least six months beyond what anyone expected.

This was Mom MD's final year of medical school and our destination for her residency was still unknown. She was extremely busy and I often found myself shuttling 1 year old Brenna to and from childcare and after work either coming home to an empty house or going to my Mom and Dad's house where my Mom, a pillar of strength and courage, held down the fort. Not only did Mom attend to Dad who was rapidly deteriorating both physically and mentally, but she was taking care of her elderly Mother (Granny) who lived with them.

To top it all off, we were having difficulty with our drunken idiot of a next door neighbor who threatened us and threw broken glass in our backyard...Good times, good times. Honestly, what kept me going during such a down time in my life was my diversion....sports....more specifically football and the St. Louis RAMS! This team came from nowhere to post a 13-3 NFC record and #1 Seed. Mom Pre-MD was kind enough to spend her morning calling and calling to obtain two tickets to the divisional game against the Vikings on 1/16/00 in which we were fortunate to have been able to attend....the first home playoff game in St. Louis history and a blowout victory.

Sadly, my Dad passed away two days later, five days before the famous Ricky Proehl catch from Kurt Warner in the NFC Championship to defeat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 11-6 on rout to a Super Bowl XXXIV victory on January 30th. I only hope my Dad would understand how painful and difficult a time it was (for all of us). Brenna was my shining star, but the Rams with Kurt Warner who went from grocery stocker to QB gave me something to look forward to, talk about with coworkers and kept me going.....THANK YOU St. Louis RAMS........!

The Worst Movie EVER

2009-01-08T15:31:00.000-08:00

Holy crap! Do you know when you make a wrong turn or two in the bad part of town, end up in a dead-end alley, and then get mugged? This is how I felt today when I accidentally went to the wrong theater. I intended to go see the Tom Cruise movie "Valkyrie" and thought it was playing at the local UA theater. Nope, it was at Century just down the street. Strike 1!

So I thought what the heck, why don't I randomly select another flick perhaps during this period of Academy Award caliber movies, I'd hit the jackpot. Uh, nope...Strike 2! "The Spirit" was the next movie to start at 1:10 P.M., and it was absolutely terrible! I know, I know..well, NOW I know that the same guy who directed "Sin City" and "300"was behind this stinker, but that didn't help me as I hadn't seen either movie (nor do I have the desire).

Some of the movie's faults....well....gosh, where do I start? First the story...it's based on a comic book from the 1940's...our "hero" The Spirit was a police officer who died and came back to life as a super hero fighting his arch enemy played by Samuel L. Jackson. The backdrop is desaturated of color, but each scene has at least one color element (like a red tie)...which very quickly becomes tiring. The acting is terrible. At one point the hero spends time talking to his cat. Another character takes a picture of her butt...I could go on and on, but that would be more mention than the movie deserves.

Ok, so a Reinvent Dad first. I had NEVER stood up and walked out on a movie...not "Howard the Duck"...not "Shadow Conspiracy"...not even "Home on the Range." Other movies like "Nims Island" and "Leatherheads" would probably have been other candidates for an early exit, but alas I rented those clunkers. This time, I said I can't take it anymore and after a 20- something couple walked out after about 30 minutes I followed their cue...Strike 3 (I'm outta here)...I decided I wanted that extra hour of my life back. Fortunately I was able to get my money back!

Don't see this movie! Don't even think about it! I had more fun coming home and reading the miserable reviews on Yahoo. Notes to self: next time bring the newspaper along to reconfirm where the movie you really want to watch is playing, and don't randomly select a movie after arriving at the theater....lesson learned!

OMG, IM A PIG!

2009-01-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

I recently had a revelation about myself and it wasn't too flattering. Just the other day I was standing in line at the Fry's customer service counter waiting (and waiting, AND WAITING) to return a new refridgerator bought out of desperation (different story) and was observing all the customers shopping for new routers, DVDs, HDMI cables (in other words, mostly geeks) when I noticed a guy being helped by a CSR.

I'd say he was 35-45 with a scraggly beard, longish hair, hat, sweat pants/shirt and flip flops. My first thought was "what a slob....I bet he just crawled off the couch after a morning of PlayStation 3...maybe he was trying to master Spider-man: Web of Shadows...." Then, I looked down.....

Yes, Yes, I know that I've gone from shaving once a week to almost once every other week (& on special occasions like visiting the dentist), but c'mon I shower at least once a day and have really tried to NOT go out in public in sweat pants. Since winter began, I rarely wear my Teva's out (except w/socks underneath). In fact, one of my New Year's Resolutions was to improve my overall wardrobe which would contribute to a better appearance in public, right?

Personal hygiene and appearance aside, Brenna actually called me out yesterday at the movie theater for NOT picking up my trash. Now, hold on a minute. I have NEVER ever EVER picked up my leftover $6 bag of popcorn or $4.25 soda...Heck, I didn't even realize that the theaters supplied trash receptacles, but as I was kicking my junk away so the kids could step over the pile of refuse, Brenna said "Uh, uh...people pick-up their trash at the theater." UGGGHHH - WTF?

OK, fast forward to this A.M. I decided last evening that I'd clean up my act. Today, I would S-H-A-V-E without an occasion. I'd also get-up earlier so I could make Mom MD coffee before she jammed off to work. I'd go to the gym and put forth more effort. I'd clean the upstairs including wash and change all the bed sheets. I'd go to the grocery story and purchase healthier foods.

Did I do any of those things? Well, HMMM a couple, partly, I guess. I went to the gym. It's still early so I do plan on heading out to the grocery store and cleaning the upstairs before I pick-up Brenna from school. Ooops, I missed making that first cup of Joe for Mom MD, but it isn't my fault she had to go in to work for early (& she likes to go to Starbucks anyway). I'll shave...later, and those bed sheets are getting more wrinkled in the dryer as I blog....

Perhaps, I better just shoot for tomorrow!

Julia's (Sleepwalking) Episode by Brenna Riley

2009-01-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

Hi it's Brenna-reinventing dad's daughter. Well now my dad knows that one kid in this family sleepwalks-and that is my little sister Julia.

Last night, my dad said that he woke up at about 1:00 am to hear crying. He got up and walked toward the girls' room. Instead, he saw Julia walking up the stairs, crying. She sobbed and said, "Where is Alec and Vivi?" but she was out of it. He said to her, "They're sleeping, Julia," but she acted like she didn't hear him

***NOTE from Reinventing Dad: Nothing freaks me out more than being awaken from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. Alec has sauntered into our bedroom a few times, but somehow I've always "sensed" his presence. No one I've slept with (that didn't come out right)...no one who has been sleeping under the same roof with me at the same time (a roommate, kids, guests, etc.) has EVER been known to sleepwalk...but Ju Ju was walking up the stairs (in the dark) when I found her crying.......bizarre....anyone have experience with sleepwalkers? I did speak to her, but quickly and gently put her back to bed...that was it!

Itchy and Scratchy

2009-01-03T23:04:00.000-08:00

I swear, Alec and Julia have turned into Itchy and Scratchy! I'll admit, I was totally unprepared for the constant bickering and fighting...short of calling The Nanny...what do you do when your multiples (or any kids of equal size/strength) can't seem to leave each other alone?

Things I don't understand about California(ns).

2009-01-02T12:42:00.000-08:00

Let's assume that I'm somewhat qualified to make snap judgements and over generalizations about the "Golden State". In my 40+ years, I have called Cali my home for 32 (in terms of percentage, that's a big 8-0 for those youngsters following along). I grew-up in a small town in the Mohave Desert. I attended a state university in a college town. I've lived in two large metropolitan areas. I'm married with children, pay taxes, and have even been gainfully employed. I've also lived in the Midwest and East...so what's up with California(ns)?

What's up with parking lots? Why are there so many "compact" spots when they know so many of us drive minivans, suvs and trucks? I see that these smaller spots are caused by planters used to plant trees for shade, but for whom? The employees grab those spots BEFORE you even arrive to shop. Finally, can't the lots just be straight across, two directions...in other words a tad boring, but more functional and safer...why not devote more time into architecture of the buildings, and less on the lot!

Why does Cal Trans insist on having "road cookies?" You know, those yellow semi-circles that make an irritating grinding noise when you drive over them? You don't find them at higher elevations where driving can be much more treacherous. Other states with narrower, windier, darker, snowier, two lane highways have painted lines (gasp). Drivers have actually adapted to use of headlights and safer driving techniques...

Another puzzling phenomenon is health care insurance (no I won't even attempt to tackle the broken down Medi-Cal system). My question is why do new employees have to wait 90 days (that's 3 months!) to be eligible to sign up for their employer's health care insurance? Huh? My mistake as I thought California was one of the most socially progressive states in the union.......think smoking, seat belt and helmet laws!

Finally, let's talk taxes.......Californians SHOULD have the highest taxes in the United States. Please stop complaining so much that Arnold wants to raise taxes. Few places on Earth, let alone these United States have such wonderful weather and allow travel from majestic mountains through gorgeous wine country, and finally breathtaking ocean views and sandy beaches....ALL in the same day! You say what about "Nebraska, Oklahoma or Ohio?" - I think not. We have fresh fruits and vegetables. We have San Francisco. We have the ancient redwoods. We have so so much including the incredible weather that most places only dream about! Today, it's mid-50's and sunny in Sacramento!

Here's to: New Years Resolutions - It's the first Saturday of 2009 and I went to Cal Fit and couldn't find an available elliptical machine....that has NEVER happened!

Back from the cruise, my girth and '08 reflections.

2008-12-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

We're B-A-C-K and happy to be home bound for awhile. We thoroughly enjoyed the cruise with the nice weather, shopping, relaxation, shows, kids, etc., but now it's time to wrap up '08, and look forward to '09.

Not to belabor the whole eating-thing on cruises, but I swear you don't have a chance of not packing on a few pounds. I told myself to cut down on the rolls (that they bring you before EVERY meal), and not eat red meat for dinner every night (but I did each eve with the exception of lobster night). I didn't eat any pastries except the occasional nibbling off the kids' and when I went to the 24-hour ice cream station, I only ate the frozen yogurt! I even worked out 4 days in addition to the Saturday BEFORE we left, but...........alas I gained five pounds. Perhaps the first clue should have been when I was eating those complimentary chocolate chip cookies on the way home while seated on the plane, and I dropped a couple. Instead of them rolling down into my lap (like they used to)....they only made it half-way down!

As 2008 drifts off into the sunset (I'm guessing that there will be a sunset, but I just can't see it with all the fog in the valley).....I'm (again) thinking how fortunate I've been to have such an awesome family and group of friends. It has also been quite a different year from years past both at home and in the world we share.

The Rileys didn't move in 2008....we'd moved in 1992 (2X), 1993, 1994, 1996 (2x), 2000 (2x), 2002, 2004, & 2007.
I didn't EARN a dime...yes the EDD kept extending the employment insurance, but I didn't do anything except to work in previous years to deserve it.
I didn't do a lick of yard work...paid someone else to do it, but I DID do a ton of housework...didn't pay anyone to do that.
I began '08 in tremendous back pain (could barely walk), but will end '08 pain free (until tomorrow morning of course, but it doesn't count because it will be '09).
Two people I knew took their own life...a friend who had always kept in touch, and a high school classmate - both females in their 40's with alot to live for...breaks my heart.
Americans elected our first African American (I consider him multi-racial), but I agree the U.S. needs to head in a different direction in so many ways. Hopefully Barack Obama will make an impact.
I went to just as many concerts/events as I did sporting events...3 to 3! Uh, and NO Kings games.
A year ago I didn't know what any internet terms meant like blog, wiki, html, etc....
I turned 40! YIKES....won't do that again.

I wish everyone the best, safest, healthiest, and wealthiest '09 !!!!

Brenna's Karaoke on Carnival Pride

2008-12-30T13:56:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone - we're back in SacTown. Brenna wanted me to upload one of her karaoke performances and put it in my blog....I believe that this is a Taylor Swift song.

Merry Christmas from Mazatlan

2008-12-25T10:48:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone - Merry Christmas from the Carnival Pride! It's day 5 and Christmas in sunny Mazatlan and we're having a wonderful time eating, swimming, eating, shopping, eating, reading, sleeping, relaxing, and did I mention..EATING? Ok, old joke. Sufficed to say, it has been so much fun, and we still have three days to go.

The triplets and Brenna awoke this morning to stockings hung in Grandma M's room down the hall. Mom MD & I were circling the room with camera and video camera in hand trying to capture the event. Brenna was most excited about her new little video camera. Alec loves his spiderman watch. Vivi, oh THAT Vivi put on all her bracelets and necklaces. JuJu just wanted to make sure no one took any of her candy.

Now, Reinvent Dad is typing fast and frantically as there aren't too many things more expensive than Carnival WiFi (& oh it's much slower than WiFi back in the states). So please excuse the poor grammer and spelling. Mom, Grandpa D and the Grandmas are out shopping in town. The triplets and Brenna are doing fun Camp Carnival activities. I'm going the go read that John Adams book that I started reading in June.

Here is wishing and my family, friends and whoever else might check out my blog, the safest and healthiest holiday season....I'll see you all soon with (hopefully) some pictures and video :)

Pet Peeves

2008-12-18T12:07:00.001-08:00

You'll recall from a previous entry that I don't use the word "hate" anymore, but I still have my "pet peeves" described by Wikipedia as "annoyances that can instill great frustration in a small group of people, yet they are experienced by everyone." You have yours. I have mine, and since this is my blog, here are a few of mine....

People who insist on watering their lawns year-round. Come on when it's cold outside (especially if the temperature is below 32F), AND it has rained in the past few days...TURN YOUR SPRINKLERS OFF! Not only is this extremely wasteful, but dangerous to people driving or taking walks (ever slipped on ice?).
People who do NOT hold the door for you and/or say "Thank You, Gracias, Merci or any other verbal means of appreciation" when you hold the door for them. In general, senior citizens, men, and people with strollers are the best at both holding the door, and saying "Thank You" when you do the same.
Interestingly enough the majority of my PP's are at the gym. Here are a few of my least favorite things... I can't stand it when guys stand naked at the mirror (just wrong). I don't like it when the trainers are in worse condition then I am (wouldn't you think they'd practice what they preach). Why do parents have to crowd around the sign-up area in the Kid's Zone (come on patience, where is the fire?). Finally, can you say "personal space"at the weights, in the sauna or on the mats (don't crowd, I don't even let my kids get that close).
What about driving? How about using your turn signals? I'm tired of guessing. Also, here's a thought, how 'about slower drivers stay in the right lane? Funny, my driving pet peeves have decreased substantially since moving back to California in 2004 as I do consider them the best drivers in the country, but then again (roads, signals and the weather are much better).

That's all for now....pretty tame really. What are your pet peeves? Oh, since I'm a man of lists and to keep with the current tone of this entry (a mellow bitch session)....Here are few things that let's just say IF they left forever I wouldn't be traumatized.

Wal-Mart
Indian Casinos
Leaf blowers
Kiosks at the Mall
Pit Bulls
Telemarketers
New England Patriots.
Extreme Fighting
Romantic comedies.
Income Taxes.

Christmas Cards

2008-12-16T14:40:00.000-08:00

This week has been designated as "Get the Freakin' Christmas Letters Out" week as we soon will be going on holiday. After ordering 100 prints on Snapfish and receiving our delivery last week, we finally started the arduous process last evening with Mommy doing the majority of the work while Reinventing Dad made sure all I's were dotted and T's crossed.

Even without writing the traditional Holiday (Brag) Letter, it's time consuming and I can see why people decide to skip it some if not all years. This afternoon I decided to tackle more letters thinking that I'd make a huge dent (& the Biggest Loser Finale is on this evening). Truthfully I was also a bit concerned that the post office might have some difficulty deciphering Mommy MD's writing. Unfortunately, I'm NOT as neat as I thought I was, but I completed 13 more cards (mostly to my side of the family and friends).

This picture was up for consideration to be on our annual card, but JUST missed the final cut.............Oh, and as far as the "Brag" letter is concerned..I'm just kiddin' I truly like to hear what everyone is up to. In fact, I'm jealous as I've never been able to write a good one.

Restaurant Coupons

2008-12-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

Economists label me "price sensitive" as I have a particular "window of cost" that I intend to pay for various products and services. This is especially true when it comes to eating out. The other day I realized that my wallet was so bloated that I could no longer sit down comfortably. Unfortunately it wasn't a stack of hundreds that raised my rear, but receipts that I tend to slip in my wallet for later disposal.

Prior to tossing out, I reviewed each receipt to determine if it needed to be retained for possible returns or what not. I noticed that most were restaurant receipts, and that in all but one case did I receive a discount of one kind or another. Amy and I don't eat out much anymore. In fact, with me at home cooking my famous spaghetti, tacos, hot dogs or steaks week in and week out, we generally only order out a day or two on weekends.

After being overwhelmed with so many choices after we first moved to Roseville (both chains and one-of-a-kind mom/pop), we seem to have narrowed down our choices to a handful of eateries. Not surprisingly all but one have discounts coupons, 2 for 1's etc. If we want steak, we go to Tahoe Joe's for the rib eye which we split and order an extra salad (we use the clipper cash). If we want Mexican, it's On the Border which also has $ off coupons.

What about pizza? Well, we go take-n-back with Papa Murphy's which allow discount coupons (mailed) on EVERY pizza your purchase. If the craving is for pasta or an outstanding build your own salad, it's Pasta Village (locally owned) which until recently offered "kids eat free" on Saturday, but in talking to the owner he indicated that more special offers are coming out soon..............

The best restaurant coupons are the straight "2 fors" buy one, get one free meals. I can't stand the buy one entree + 2 drinks and then get the second entree free. This insults my intelligence and irks my turtle. I rarely order a drink anymore unless its a breakfast coffee....why pay $2.49 for a diet coke? When I want a "drink", then I'll get a "drink" (e.g. gin and tonic). Again, not ordering a soft drink (huge restaurant profit margin) automatically cuts 20% off your bill.

Forget about the dinner for two coupon as well. Black Angus simply can't get this through its thick head. I don't want to pay $42.99 for a dinner for two with appetizer, salad, entree and dessert! I'm not interested in the stamp card either in which you get a freebie on the "nth" visit.....this is another undesirable wallet fatener, and I forget...give me the deal today!

We just paid $23.99 for the entertainer booklet that contains deals on everything from Avis to the Zoo, but I was a bit disappointed in the values for my area and many of the places I had never heard of. True these places want me to sample their food, but I generally go by word of mouth. When I find a place I like, I'm loyal as H-E-L-L.

In concluding, especially with this economy I don't see any reason to patronize any eatery without receiving sometime of deal. I always check to see if a restaurant has a AAA discount. Even at mighty Starbucks, I purchased $100 worth of gift cards for $80 at Costco. I did mention that there is one exception to my discount rule...a place I NEVER see any kind of discount, but I'm addicted and can't stop. Drum roll please.......it's the Japanese restaurant Mikuni which is simply the best and worth every cent.

Saturday morning before first cup of joe.

2008-12-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

I'm going off the cuff this a.m. before my morning coffee which is a feat in of itself. I ran down a short time ago and starting a fresh pot. It's a clear Saturday morning and Amy is in-house doc today after being on-call (with beeper last night). The beeper went off quite often I might add so my fuse will be a bit short today.

Alec dressed himself socks first, then shirt, then underwear, and finally pants. He's not happy with the green pants I chose because they don't fit "too right", so I've sent him back into his room to retrieve a new pair. He chose the camouflage swishy pants which doesn't quite match his blue Small Paul shirt, but oh well.

Vivi and Juju played "camp out" in their room using Alec's blue comforter as a tent, but after deciding to change the tent into a pool and jump from their beds, I ENDED the game. They've found some clothes in their ill assorted closet, and have dressed themselves (except I did help Vivi with her tights).

Time to go downstairs and drink some coffee....I NEED it! They've shouted that they found "Clarky" the elf somewhere in the kitchen. We'll have breakfast. I'm the short order chef you know. Eventually Bren will drag herself out of bed and I'll ask her if the tooth fairy came as she lost a molar last night. She'll then grab a bite to eat and we'll all head off to the gym.

This is our morning routine when Mommy is "Dr in the Box." We'll try to visit "mommy's hospital" at lunch, then naps, treat, games, etc....Gotta go as they'll probably want me to sort out the dinosaurs in the Kirkland vitamin jar...they like the "long necked" ones for some reason...enjoy your weekend.

Alec Advice

2008-12-10T14:21:00.001-08:00

Reinventing Dad needs some help. Can someone offer some advice as to how to keep my very observant four and one-half year-old son Alec from making a (loud) comment about individuals who for lack of better words might look a bit different from his family and friends.

I mean I've heard everything from "look dad, he's little" when referring to a little person to "dad, look at his beard" when referring to a young guy with a fu manchu style moustache. Of course, in the latter story, Julia chimed in with her opinion "I don't like it."

This was mildly embarrassing when he was really little, but not when he's four (& looks older). I've tried explaining to him that he shouldn't say things about people. I've tried creating a diversion before he sees a person of "interest" like "Alec, look at the car like Mommy's." Nothing seems to work.

Perhaps, he'll grow out of this before I can come up with a solution, but I'm really dreading the first time I have to take him into the men's locker room at the gym.

Here's to a fantastic win last night by the Sacramento Kings over the Lakers....I'm sorry I missed it, but I had committed myself to watching the "Biggest Loser" - I know there is a joke in there somewhere!

A not-so-good Idea

2008-12-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I come up with the best ideas for a new entry when I'm either in the shower, at the gym, or in the car? This predicament totally bums me out as I have such fascinating topics and ideas that I'd be thrilled to share with you if I could only keep them stored in my pee brain until I'm in front of a computer. I know you're rolling your eyes and I am too, but on the way home from the gym this morning I wondered why hasn't an automaker come up with a way to allow you to text message over your car's blue tooth? By the way (BTW), if your favorite texting symbol is OMG or if you use capital letters, then I've been told you're either too old or trying too hard (or both).

I had another idea that I ran by Brenna the other day that I thought was mind blowing. As some of you may already know, I like to sing in times of great happiness (or drunkenness), or when I'm stressed (home bound with the triplets). In fact, by my sixth and final year of college I was finally able to shed the "Babe" nickname from high school to one that made a tad more sense "Nickelodeon." Not that I'm a good singer, nor could I tell you the difference between a melody, minstrel or molto. What I do enjoy is switching around and making up new lyrics to various songs.

So? My idea was to create a website in which the visitor picked a song, answered a couple questions about themselves, and told me what their current mood was and I'd put together a personalized jingle. For example, say you picked "Alone" by Heart (I'm a child of the 80's), you're a mortgage underwriter (in a past life) who is overworked, tired, and frustrated. Can you remember the tune, perhaps you still have the CD.........?

"I see you submitted a not-so-good loan, I'm reviewing it but my decision is unknown"
"I'm deciding if I should approve or toss away...I don't believe the man even intends to pay"
"But the sales department is on my tush and I clearly have no directive from President Bush"
"A Loan"

You get the idea...I hope...maybe not. This is the clean version (think of a pop 2-Live Crew song of the early 90's for the other version). Anyway, as you might have guessed, Brenna shot this one down! She said no one would go for this, "think again Laundryman." Oh well, back to the shower, car or gym for another idea.......stay tuned.